Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

This ⬆️

People often bring up " when I was young" examples of fashion.

But I think things are a different ball game now: social media and the increasingly horrendous effects of the prevelance of porn have changed everything.

Because they like it? Because women (and men) can wear whatever the hell they want? Because they're in a jacuzzi and not teaching in a primary school? Because they're young and probably have great bodies not that the OPs husband would have noticed of course

This will be the standard response you get here op: men can do no right and women no wrong on MN.

I had slight suspicions at first but then thought perhaps I was wrong. Seems I wasn't.

Sounds like your husband thinks they fancied him lol. How old is he?

My dad and FIL are like that. A woman will just be existing, and any signs of politeness the next thing they’re telling me I think the girl in the shop fancies me!

You think this bunch of girls were showering in front of him ‘knowing what they are doing’ and then sat next to him. They probably didn’t even pay any attention to him and were enjoying each others company and he was enjoying the view so wanted to make it their fault

Now tell us you didn’t read the post without telling us you didn’t read the post 🙄

Well I'm fed up of the narrative women can do no wrong and anyone who critises a woman's behaviour is de facto a misogynist.

Yes a lot of men behave very very badly, and criminally, towards women.

But a lot of women also behave badly and we shoud be allowed to call them out on that behaviour without being dubbed a misogynist.

It’s not a different set of rules, it’s a different opinion about what constitutes anti-social behaviour. Young women having a fun time wearing fashionable bikinis in a spa is not my view of anti-social behaviour. If they’d been screaming, touching your husband, splashing each other, yes that would have been anti-social. But your language gives you away: parading, rubbing etc. It sounds to me more like they were doing normal things in a suitable location.

Young women wear those swinsuits. Them wearing a swimsuit like mine would feel like me wearing a full-length Victorian affair. Unless there’s more info it seems like your husband disapproves of young women being young women and having fun in a public setting. And so do you. How dare they…

Sorry, if I missed this in the post but, was it just your husband and these girls in the jacuzzi?

If so, I'm going to play Devil's Advocate and suggest, it's possible that they wanted the jacuzzi to themselves and thought making him feel uncomfortable would make him leave.

Manipulative, but not unheard of.... Just a thought...I mean...people are unfuc**ingfathomable' at the best of times.

Sorry but this whole thread is just a load of made up bullshit. Either by the OP or her severely traumatised husband.

Absolutely no man would go home to his wife after being in a jacuzzi and start telling her about a load of 20-something women "parading" round in tiny bikinis and rubbing their boobs and bums in front of him.

It is funny though how the OP feels sooooo sorry for the poor man who had to witness such a distressing scene 😆

Some women do ‘parade around’. At my David Lloyd I’ve often seen a young woman in a tiny thong walking up and down the side of the pool for a long time, while talking on her phone. There’s seating by the pool, and plenty in the female changing room, too, so why she feels the need to display her assets for so long, I don’t know.

But evidently it’s against MN law to suggest that any woman is an exhibitionist.
I’ve never seen any bloke in a thong at DL at all, let alone walking up and down by the pool in it for 10 minutes at a time.

Ah of course. Women are to blame for men’s poor behaviour. Got it.

Straight from the misogynist playbook

Personally I hate that sort of swimwear and think it’s inappropriate anywhere but a beach in Brazil. So…I don’t wear it. Because that’s the only thing I expect to control with my opinions.

Do you write for the Daily Mail OP? You have a similar style.

I agree with this, and it's nothing to do with preferring women over men or vice versa. It's just a find a lack of parity of logic frustrating.

I did read the post. But realistically how big can a jacuzzi be 😂 5 people in it, 2 of them literally on the opposite side of the jacuzzi so as far away as they could possible get.

It's pretty clear OPs creepy DH wasn't telling her all the facts... he literally sat there and watched these 4 women shower which made him uncomfortable instead of I dunno, moving across the jacuzzi so he couldn't see them?

And he left, as he should have. He was the one with the pretend problem.

What wrong with a woman being an exhibitionist or dressing in a way that might attract attention.
That doesn’t mean she should be treated disrespectfully.

Tiny bikinis of the kind worn by the girls in the OP are primarily sunbathing wear designed to maximise tanning. They can be swum in but that’s not their primary purpose.

Of course some parade.

Many don't and are victims, which is why people get so defensive.

But the correct response to that isn't to pretend the paraders aren't parading.

They weren't. He left.

I’ll be honest and say I swapped to a women only gym for this very reason. Loads of young girls with their arses hanging out looking for attention. Funnily enough women don’t dress like that in my gym because there’s no one there to impress. There’s a fine line between wearing what we want and wearing what’s appropriate and the right time and place for it.

What would you think if a man wore a mankini in a health club pool? Fine, he’s just being exhibitionist?

I don't think these young women were 'behaving badly'

They were wearing what they chose to wear, which was appropriate for the setting. If they were wearing it in Asda, I might agree with you.

I imagine each of us makes choices about what we wear that represent our own values and what we are comfortable with.

These choices will have been affected by external factors - parenting, culture, exposure to media - I don't deny that fashion exists and is rarely about practicality or comfort.

There are many clothing choices people make that I dislike - men and women.

I tell myself 'it's their choice', even if i think they might be influenced by other people in those choices.

Unless you want rules about clothing to be dictated by others ?government - then you have to put up with 'feeling uncomfortable' sometimes.

Clothing is an expression of personal choice, of freedom.

There may be some exhibitionists, at my health club we have some sports teams staying and some of the men do wear tiny shorts and peacock around but then most of us in aquafit are over 60 so not interested 😂. But this doesn’t sound like that. It sounds like it’s a group of young women having fun together and probably far more interested in impressing their mates with their pretty bikinis than any random middle aged man!

They didn’t “have” to leave and OP wasn’t even there! The man sat in the empty jacuzzi watching them shower, running their arses and boobs, could he have changed position in the then empty jacuzzi? Yes, but he watched them…… odd?

They then apparently sat to close to him? Really?