Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

I've known many frankly terrifying women! I've also known women who have bullied, abused, or sexually harassed men and boys.

And yes, men can parade and strut. It's not gendered language.

I think some pp have just seen an opportunity to give an OP a kicking by accusing her DH of being a pervert and a misogynist. They don't have anything of substance to say. They just like attacking people.

I remember in the noughties feeling uncomfortable seeing young women then have blatant purposeful whale tails

He didn't even say anything to them, didn't harass them. Just felt uncomfortable and left.

I never said he was scared, just felt uncomfortable.

More I think about it. I'm on your side OP.

I think your husband made the best decision, good for him.

YANBU in the slightest but I'm assuming you're new here as I could have told you that all the man haters would be out in force because of course no woman has ever used her assets to beguile or intimidate a man ever.

It literally doesn't matter what you say or how you try to explain it, every phrase will be pulled apart to desperately try to convince you that your husband is a giant perv/all women are sweet and innocent/you are a fool.

I don't believe I'm a prude but I don't enjoy seeing other womens' backsides either. Saying that there isn't a time and a place for specific types of clothing is not internalised mysogny or some other crap.

Have a good evening 💐

So have I. That doesn't diminish the negative experiences that I have had at the hands of men

Calling people man haters for expressing an opinion isn't helpful

I never said or implied that it did!

I thought it was actually an excellent summary of your and other pp's comments.

You seem to want to needle other posters

Agreed.

so ....they behaved as to make him feel uncomfortable, banking on the other side of the mysoginistic coin that there is this trend now that any woman is allowed now to dress and behave as sexually revealing she want without fear of called a slut...but of course if challenged she can easily bring the harassment narrative....ok, if this is how your husband felt, I see his point

I'm not a man hater on any level. You don't know me - and that is lazy boring trope. I didn't call the OPs husband a pervert - maybe you could back off and stop calling complete strangers man haters just because they don't agree with you

What an odd thing to say. If you are feeling 'needled' by me, that's kind of your problem, isn't it? I'm just engaging in the thread, and certainly never said anything to you that could be construed as diminishing your negative experiences with men. I've also had those.

Which you of course acknowledge and support.

Buy those women don’t deserve to be villainised or described as ‘gross’ for their swimwear choice.

Your daughter’s feelings don’t trump the bodily autonomy of other women (or people in general).

Maybe you aren't reading your own posts back. Man hater is quite a strong thing to post. No. Everything isn't my problem. I only have one man in my life as it happens - my brother. He's one of the finest people you'll ever meet. I don't need to be called a man hater by some random person online just because I don't agree with everything you've said on here

It's all the comments about how OP's husband is a pervert, how he must have been staring at the women, how he was probably leching all over them, and how the women can't possibly be held accountable for their own behaviour. If you didn't make any of those comments, then I apologise. There are a lot of posters saying the exact same or very similar things on this thread.

What’s a whale tail?

People in this country can legally wear what they want. But people and society are allowed to judge.

I didn't call him a creep or a perv on any level. I actually said more than once that I understand what it's like to be in a mixed sex sauna and feel uncomfortable.

I was wondering....I work predominantly with men, tradies and I do the admin. There is new recruit who comes in ballerina tutus, high heels, shiny leggings stuck in her asss hole...bends over, pulls her bra and thong all the time in front of everyone...these guys are all under 30....she is beautiful lady...but the environment is just a trade centre for the building industry....now what her reasons to do this could be also....because I have been raising my eyebrows in her direction also...

Thongs sticking out of jeans

You seem to be having trouble understanding.

It's inappropriate for women to get their private body parts out on display in front of children.

It is, in general, gross.