Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

'the whole thing is just nauseating that this couple sat there in their home talking in this misogynistic manner about these young women'

Yep.

What does it actually matter whether someone wears a thong or not? Like - has the OPs husband never seen someone's arse in his life?

Erm yes?

And the issue is?

Sounds like the only thing they possibly did wrong was sitting right next to him, which is a dick move from anyone to anyone.

A bum does not 'hang'. Bum cheeks are just visible in a thong, not 'arseholes' as a pp stated, nor 'vulvas' just buttocks. Buttocks are neither offensive nor objects to titillate solo jacuzzi users.

He wasn’t talking to colleagues in the office though, or his Nan, there was no need to speak formally to his own wife. I’d absolutely talk like that with my DH if it had been me in the jacuzzi and a group of men wearing budgie smugglers climbed in next to me in the jacuzzi.

”oh you should have seen them, they made a big show of rubbing their chests and abs when in the shower then they all strutted over to the jacuzzi thinking they were God’s gift and clearly hoping everyone was looking at them. Then they got in and took their time about it, everything was at eye level, hanging out at the sides, I didn’t know where to look 😆. There was no way I was going to stay in there on my own with them, it was creepy the way they all sat as close as they could to me when they had plenty of room to choose from. “

What does it matter?
What was the purpose of this post?

How would you feel if 4 men, wearing speeds with half their bums showing,came inside the jacuzzi, 2 sat opposite you and 2 sat next to you?
Hmm
Maybe you wouldn't mind
But he's allowed to feel uncomfortable without being labelled a creep 🙄

Would you start a thread on mumsnet about it?

😂👏 thank you 🙏

There are plenty of threads on here to prove I'm right

Oh they were doing it on purpose to embarrass him seems to be the op's dh rather melodramatic summary.

I wonder how on earth he functions in other areas, you get the feeling if he has a job he's a well known face in the HR department with various upsets and complaints.

People have started threads for a lot less!!

you’re replying so you must be enjoying it.

Please don't hmm me maybe you wouldn't mind. I've already said more than once on this thread that I have shared saunas with men wearing shorts and women (wearing bikinis)

I didn't call him a creep. I just don't think women be shamed for what they wear

And of course he has the right to feel uncomfortable - I just don't think people needed to know about their shower habits

You are missing the point. She wasn’t rude. She FELT UNCOMFORTABLE and told her mum. Good luck with parenting your son.

Well - people have the right to respond don't they?

So thongs no, but mens nipples okay?

He does not have social anxiety. So if the tables were turned and it was a woman feeling uncomfortable would you say she had social anxiety? I think not.

Men are intimidating and threatening. Women are not. I'd never for example describe men as parading or strutting which suggests sexist sneering not concern about one's safety.

Correct @NovemberMorn

I said earlier that I've been in communal showers where men have been washing themselves and had their hands down their shorts washing themselves after a sauna. Did I feel particularly comfortable? No. Did I think it was anything sexual - no

But

is watching them on the shower, “rubbing their arses and boobs”

and describing them as

”parading around”.

not creepy?

Then lo and behold they upset him in the jacuzzi! 🤔

Some women definitely are intimidating and/or threatening!! I’ve met many!

and men certainly can parade and strut. I’ve heard that language used about men in gyms for example.

just because you haven’t had these experiences doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

ok, so what scared him? was it a fear of public sexual arousal?

what is the thread really about? - is it the man feeling uncomfortable because he thought they are subjecting him to voyaurism or what....what are you implying with the thread ....I don't want to imply anything but you made a whole thread about what he said so here we are not knowing what to tell you.