Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

So he was laughing while recounting it? Meaning he found it funny, rather than embarrassing or intimidating or whatever else women in swimsuits have the power to do to men who can't look in other directions?

Well that's good to hear. Can't see the issue if it only entertained him. What's the palaver about?

Absolutely a him problem and not them.

How about you read the whole of my post instead of ignoring the bits that you can't answer with a slogan?

Or actually don't bother. You're clearly not someone who has anything interesting to say.

I've spent some time thinking. Bikini swim suits are normal to wear in a pool/jacuzzi in the UK. As are men's swimming trunks. I'm Indian so we don't wear bikinis in our culture. My DDs have worn one-pieces. I don't tend to swim but if I do go to a pool I wear something covering.

I don't think there's a need to wear a literal string because "empowerment" and the expect people not to look.

It's amazing how much flack women get for breast feeding in public, given the popularity of tiny bikinis

Clearly you’re someone who doesn’t like facts..

ny response to you was if he shows his cock call the police.

Ill assume you’re someone on here blaming the woman when you’re DH cheats, because he couldn't help it.

I’ll not dictate to you to answer or not, it’s a forum for everyone to answer if they want to.

Your poor husband! He's soooo hot and sexy that the girls just can't resist fawning all over him. They were definitely trying to cop off with him - and who can blame them. Lucky he's got so much self restraint and moral fibre

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest it’s the people who think a woman simply existing in a spa in a bikini are the ones who have an issue with breastfeeding in public, not the people who thinks is no big deal if a woman wears a smaller bikini “.

I don't think people who wear this stuff generally expect people not to look, but I think it's reasonable to expect that they don't stare, gawp or harass them. There are many other things you can look at in the pool; straight ahead in the direction you're swimming in, for one.

I don't think many people think of it as "empowering" these days, either. That feels pretty dated. They just like how they look in them. I really do suspect, with the obvious caveat that some people are doing it to show off (and so bloody what), it's more about being fashionable than anything else. Fashion often relies on a slight "edge".

It sounds like your husband has a very detailed account of what these girls who made him feel uncomfortable were doing.

Did he feel it appropriate to watch them run their boobs and bums as you have described?

How was it fairly obvious that they knew what they were doing?

Yes, I read your response, thanks. It added nothing to the conversation. But of course, if you want to keep on talking to me, I'll have to tolerate it, I suppose.

Or wait, no! I get it now. So this is like a performance piece. You're being deliberately stupid and rude, and showing me how it's actually my fault for seeing you be stupid and rude! So in a way, subverting your narrative and upholding it simultaneously, thus exposing the complexity of women's sexual behaviour in public spaces.

You're so smart.

Covering and not covering are different things. Hope that helps.

These women did not have their nipples out, no one had their dick out. It’s not relevant, no one’s getting a pass for flashing because that’s not what happened.

Odd that the women who support other womens right to wear what they like wherever they like, disregarding the fact that it may make others, including children feel uncomfortable, are the very women who turn on others, calling them jealous, deluded, ect.
So much for the 'sisterhood'.

Yes, but I bet when you go to the pool in India there is also a seperate shower area to wash (ideally unisex or private showers)? I much prefer that to those showers as described in the OP where they are uni sex and directly opposite the swimming area/jacuzzi.
In places where everyone is having a private shower (or at least a shower with just women/men) those much more covering clothes are fine because people are cleaning themselves before. But someone coming straight from the gym or public transport or work, changing into a lycra costume that covers most of them and then standig briefly under a shower is really gross. So people often prefer more revealing constumes.

I personally prefer more private showers and covered costumes. But in cultures/situations where that is less common it isn't really that people are choosing to flaunt themselves for the sake of it always. I don't think it's fair to assume other cultures are just being less modest.

There weren't any children there as far as I'm aware. Certainly in the health suite I go to - kids aren't allowed in

'I feel very sorry for boys and young men constantly being told that they are perverts and misogynists'

The op's dh described them 'rubbing their breasts and arses' 'strutting' and 'parading'as if putting on a show to titillate him. If men don't want to be seen as creeps and pervs they need to change their language.

The op herself said they 'knew what they were doing'. So all in all a very judgemental household. I hope they don't have kids.

The people here who are arguing both that:

• it's only appropriate to have a really quick splash under the showers. More than that is flaunting
• one should cover as much as possible at public baths

Are the reason pools have to put so much chlorine in the water it burns your eyes and skin. It's rank sorry.

You don’t have to tolerate it, you could ignore it or stop responding.

But of course blame me for your actions.

”but she made me do it”.

Right... so if I can see all of your boob except the nipple, that's fine? But if I can see the nipple, not okay? If I can see your whole arse, that's fine? But if I can see part of your vulva, it's a problem?

Just trying to understand what people mean when they say 'covered' because the coverage given by teeny tiny bikinis is minimal at best.

Honestly, I'd rather someone was just naked than be in their creepy 'coverage'.

I personally don't wear a bikini to swim in - but I don't think I'm rank. Lots of women shower with a swimming costume on

Other people have posted of their experiences. Children have also been embarrassed surrounded by arses.

I am beginning to know how they felt.

I feel like I’m surrounded by arses on this thread, but the only thing I can do about it is leave if it bothers me so much.

I do too but my swimming pool has single sex showers. So it's easy to make sure that you are actually clean. I would hate the showers described in the OP and probably chose not to go there or find somewhere else to shower first. But wearing a swimming costume over unwashed skin and then quickly running under the shower is modest but isn't actually going to clean you at all. Basically, everyone needs to wash their arse before getting into water shared with others. I don't care how that happens. But it needs to happen.

So the husband left when he felt uncomfortable and left the girls to it?

Wouldn't it make sense to have separate male and female showers at least?