Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

At no point did I say they did it slowly. Please don’t twist things.

Perhaps it’s the only swim attire they’ve bought and own?

In the same way that any other item of clothing can make someone feel good. In my case, that's something not too tight and preferably warm and stretchy. But different people have different preferences.

Is making this point the purpose of your thread?
If these women didn't speak to or touch your husband, I can't see their behaviour as intimidating. He could surely look the other way or relax and close his eyes, if he didn't want to watch them walking about and having showers and whatever before the got in. So long as they didn't touch him, there's nothing wrong with sitting beside or opposite him. Not many leisure club jacuzzis are large enough for 5 people to use without being quite close to each other.
I agree that if a group of men strutted around posing and making suggestive comments while a lone woman sat in the jacuzzi, that would raise objections, but nothing comparable to that seems to have happened.

And? I’ll ask again, why is that a problem?

To be honest a lot of men like women to be a bit chunkier. It’s been in vogue to have a sizeable arse for a while now, to the extent women are paying to have arse fillers so yeah many men would love to ogle over a size 14 or even 16- shock horror!

He never said they knew what they were doing.

My DH would have got out as well!

I would have thought in this case, and many more like it, these particular women didn't feel in the least bit threatened or uncomfortable in this man's company, so there's no need to keep trolling out that same excuse when it doesn't apply.

'Lots of cool wives here. I knew exactly what sort of bikini OP was talking about when she tried to explain in first post. Barely there bikinis that are the size of a postage stamp'

I'm not a cool wife. Thank God though that my dh has never described young women rubbing their breasts and bums in the shower at a pool.

Women are allowed to wear bikinis 'postage stamp size' or other.

Stop blaming women for mens inability to control their revolting thoughts.

Isnt the point if exhibiting something, for people to see?

Would he have watched them shower? Rubbing their boobs and arses?

Totally this. They were no threat, it does not compare with one woman with men.

That’s exactly it. He didn’t know where to look. So he left.

'He let that go but it was fairly obvious from what he says, they knew what they were doing'

True it was you who said 'they knew what they were doing' after his gratuitous absolutely inappropriate descriptions. Was he rubbing his hands as he said it like Benny Hill?

I hate seeing the bums hanging out but to be honest the fat women with their aprons pulling their costume open at the groin are far worse if you happen to glance in the wrong direction and everything is at eye height as they get into or out of the pool. Men in speedos when not racing or competitive diving are just yuk.

But people wear what they wear. There is no obligation to ogle, which the OP's husband was clearly doing from the detail with which he was able to describe their actions.

The one at fault here is him, and he's lucky the girls chose to take the piss out of him by sitting too close in the jacuzzi rather than reporting him to reception as a creep (though maybe they did both).

Thank you.

He looked at them in the shower though… as he told you, watched them rub their boobs and arses

But in the jacuzzi, where nothing can be seen below shoulders, he left.

Strange that!

Yes when we go to a public area where various ages/ sizes have various attire on for pools and spas then we will of course see a variety of body shapes and that is fine! Bum cheeks 'hanging out' on an obese person I can imagine are as unsightly as these apparently shocking bum cheeks from thong wearers.

You just avert your eyes don't you. It is good manners not to stare.

Well put.

This 😂 Apparently he couldn't possibly look elsewhere. His eyes don't close, his neck doesn't move. Poor guy.

I wonder where his next jaunt will be, lovely sauna maybe? I bet there's thong wearers in there that he can be horrified by.

Poor man!

Bit different though if at a distance, then you suddenly get a group crammed in with you. I'd have felt uncomfortable too, whether they were male or female.

I'd leave too in that situation
I would feel really uncomfortable just me and a bunch of random men in a gottub. Probably even more so if they were in things but even boxers I would get out...
But, those men (assuming they weren't doing anything sexually harassing) wouldn't have been doing anything wrong in that scenario. I don't have the right to say they can't wear swimwear or use the hottub while I was there. Which is why I would leave

I was in a jacuzzi thing once (at the public swimming pool with a toddler or I wouldn't have gone) and a guy got in and started picking at his manky feet. That was gross.

But the girls weren't doing anything wrong. Your husband wasn't doing anything wrong by leaving