Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

Ah FFS she is TWELVE and didn’t want to stare at butt cheeks.
This thread is fascinating.

I'm putting far too much thought in this...

Assuming the jacuzzi seats 7 people, going off the ones I've used at spas.

DH sits in seat 1 and we number clockwise round to 7. If they were to leave a space on either side of DH that would mean they were in spaces 3-6 so sitting in a row directly opposite DH. Awkward.
So if two sit in 5 and 6 they are somewhat off to the side/opposite DH leaving 2 and 3 for the other women to sit opposite them. Not deliberately sitting close to DH but seating themselves for their ease of conversation.

Yes, segregrate women away just in case men can't help but look at them. 🙄
Fuck that

The advantage is that it makes the wearer feel confident.

That's like saying there's no point in wearing a hat with a flower on because hats are designed to keep the wearer's head out of the sun so what's the advantage in adding a flower?

I actually do find thong bikinis more comfortable - same with thong underwear. I hate the feeling of proper pants, and hate tight wet material.

Well no, the idea is that there'd be mixed sessions, some for women only and some for men only. There are plenty of men and women who prefer single sex sessions. OP's husband would be one of them. Right, OP?

Try saying that sentence about a woman who felt uncomfortable by 4 guys acting in the same way. Hear yourself say it and then stop.

Also, I wasn't talking about OP's husband in particular - my post was thinking about men and women and sexual harassment attitudes in general.

Ah a sarcastic response.

If teaching my child that body shaming women is wrong makes me morally superior then I’ll take it. Better than the alternative.

I agree with you always amazes me when these threads on barely there bikinis/topless come up.

I don't need to stop saying anything thanks. I've already said elsewhere that I have been in mixed sex spaces and felt uncomfortable - only because I have been in a sauna with several men and me. What I didn't do was go home and suggest that these men were trying to make me feel uncomfortable on purpose and shame them for the clothes they were wearing

I really doubt in the history of the world have 4 young men, every worn skimpy bathers went into a health club and then stood there and rubbed themselves in unison seductively,

I mean cmon,

It's highly possible that in a few years she will be wearing thong bikinis or what ever the fashion happens to be. I remember my nieces about 6 years ago having both their nipples pierced and me feeling thankful my daughter wasn't old enough to want to do the same. They have both taken them out now. Young people have always pushed boundaries of what they wear and old people have always chuntered about it

In which society? It's an entirely personal thing. I feel better the more covered up I am. If someone wants to wear more revealing clothes, I do not care. I have an autoimmune condition that means I'm allergic to UV radiation so need to be very careful to cover up in the sun. I was on holiday in Spain and the staff were making fun of me for wearing a long sleeved top (not realising I could understand Spanish). They were laughing and saying to me "don't you realise it's hot? No wonder you are so white! You won't get tanned wearing that". That was 2 decades ago and I've never forgotten how upsetting it was to be mocked and judged for what I was wearing by other women.

God how awful for him. What is a poor man to do. 🙄

If I sound like a school marm, that could be because you are throwing childish insults around....'bab'.

No need to get shirty. I meant 'the wife in this scenario'.

At the health club I go to the women wear very revealing bikinis that make me feel uncomfortable - boobs and bums everywhere. And yes I think they 'parade', usually with their tattoo-covered steroid pumped boyfriends. It's quite the show

But that would be totally different!

Use your brain.

Nobody forced her to stare at anything. You both need to grow up. At some point between her earlier childhood and now, she's changed from not being bothered about bodies to finding the sight of people in bikins offensive. She has body issues. That's not good as she reaches her teenage years. If she's hypercritical of other people's bodies she'll be the same about her own.

If this really happened as described I can only think they were having a laugh or trying to scare him off so they had sauna to themselves.

I've been going to gyms and pools regularly for over 20 years, in different parts of the UK, everything from council run cheapo places to expensive private ones, and I've honest to God never seen anyone "parade". I do sometimes see women, usually young ones, in thong bikinis or those utterly laughable scrunch bum leggings that thankfully seem to have gone out of fashion (no moral judgement at all, but c'mon, they did look stupid, I always wanted to laugh), but they've never "paraded". They just walk.

I don't wear thongs because I know I would find them uncomfortable.
I sometimes wear French knickers, and when they work themselves into the nick of my bum, which is where a thong is designed to go, I find it incredibly uncomfortable.

Each to their own.

Well, in that case, you need to educate your daughter on more than 1 aspect! It's inconceivable to me that I would have reacted or commented like that. It wasn't some sort of nudist resort, it was your average communal outdoor pool in Germany. Your daughter sounds rude and judgemental. If you don't think you need to do some educating around how she speaks about others or around not body-shaming, that's quite sad really.

Women (young and up to around 40s) dress like this at my club (David Lloyd). I don't myself, but I cannot work out why another woman's attire is offensive. It's not like she has "fuck off" written on her arse cheek. Women have tits and arses, shocker. The OP's husband sounds rather deluded if he thinks their clothes or "parading" were for his benefit.

Parading around?

Rubbing their breasts and bums at him?

Knew exactly what they were doing?

Unless your husband is the most drop dead gorgeous young creature to walk this earth, I'm afraid he is spinning you a yarn to get you fired up.

It's far more likely they weren't even aware of his existence, and he was busy dreaming up a crap lynx commerical in his pathetic misogynistic head.