Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

The more I read of your posts the more I think you both do need a hobby.

Describing swimwear to each other and frothing over young women is no way to live a life OP.

Why is it when someone has a different opinion to theirs, some people, like yourself, feel the need to resort to childish insults?

The OP hasn't insulted anyone, grow up.

Could have been worse. Might have been a club where they say no swimsuits of any sort in the jacuzzis and saunas. Must admit most people are quite polite in those sorts of places. (except for one bloke who had a nice long sauna and then went to one of the open showers - full view to everyone - and gave himself an full body shave)

It's not an insult bab, it's my opinion.

In my opinion, the OPs husband is behaving strangely.

Why, I wonder, when one encounters a different perspective, does one resort to telling someone to 'grow up' like some sort of school marm?

I literally didn’t give it that much thought at the time. She’s 12. She wasn’t being offensive. She certainly isn’t rude. She says ‘gross’
to mean not okay. I’m ’gross’ for eating cottage cheese. I’m guessing you haven’t been around 12 year old girls recently?
Anyway, I agree with her to be honest. It was uncomfortable and unavoidable to see in what was primarily a kids water park. Just no need.

I think her DH has a hobby 😂😂

Two youngish girls came into the Spa area last week wearing cheap Ann Summers type lace thong underwear. Someone started laughing and said this is David Lloyd love you need the council gym no one here's buying that. They left and the entire sauna moaned about how awful they looked. The men seemed to assume they were prostitutes. You have every right to wear what you like but you don't have a right to police the publics reaction.

You may be shocked to hear this but when I was a child we were on holiday in Germany, staying with my parents' friends. One day we went to an outdoor pool place and, shock horror, there were naked people there and I managed not to be grossed out and make judgmental comments. It was actually refreshing to see normal human bodies of all ages, shapes and sizes and for nobody to feel ashamed of themselves or to be sexualising each other. We wore swimsuits and guess what? Also not a problem because people were there to enjoy themselves, not pass judgement on others. There was a mix of people in all sorts of dress from fully nude, through topless, small bikinis, all-in-one swimsuits and kaftan type cover ups. How I wish we looked more to our European neighbours in many ways. The UK still manages to be weirdly prudish yet also obsessed with sex and sexualising everything.

100% this. And much better to speak up at the time than go home bleating to your wife about being 'paraded' in front of

Lol

Ah right - so it's fine if you were in a council gym? Not the more upmarket David Lloyd. Why would someone automatically be a prostitute for wearing lace underwear?

Setting the bikini aside, you say there were other places in the jacuzzi that they could have sat so they weren't surrounding him?

This is the behaviour that I would find more uncomfortable than the attire. It seems strange to arrange themselves like this when they could have sat together with more privacy for their own conversations elsewhere.

I’m not shocked. Sorry if that disappoints you. However my daughter would probably think it was ‘weird’ and ‘gross’ and say ‘what the hell are you doing bringing me to somewhere full of naked adults are you okay hun get me out of here bro’

Of course you didn’t give it much thought. You were being judgmental too!
And I have an 11 year old. I would 100% pull him up for using the word gross when describing how women were dressed.

And then everybody clapped…

Well done you. You win. You’re far morally superior to me. Congrats. Etc.

That's horrible. A load of presumably older adults humiliating young girls. By sneering at council gyms.

Money can buy you your David Lloyd membership but it can't buy you class or kindness.

As I pointed out earlier, those tiny thong bikinis are primarily designed for sunbathing not swimming, for tan maximising. Wearing them in an indoor pool area just seems …..well what’s the point? What advantage do they have over a normal bikini or one piece?

How likely is it that four men could behave inappropriately in one singular situation?? I mean, that never happens does it? Any woman harassed or raped by more than one man should be discredited and mocked, surely!

If you're going to say women should be believed and supported and men shouldn't because of their gender you should know that will make you sound like a bigot.

Perhaps you need to ask yourself why your 12 year old finds human bodies so offensive? That's quite concerning in this context.

What disadvantage do they have?

Covering slightly more of my bottom isn't going to affect my jacuzzi experience... it's like a man wearing speedos vs trunks.

I remember seeing a post on here about a school football coach. The wind was blowing his shorts so that the outline of his penis could be seen occasionally.
Care to guess what th eMN consensus was on that one?

have only read OPs posts.

I'm feeling rather "boo hoo poor menz" about this. But i also think that people don't need to feel uncomfortable at a spa.

OPs DH needs to ask that there are sex segregated days/times and stick to the male ones. Then everyone is happy, right?

True though.

Supported? Because four young women in small bikinis sat next to him in a jacuzzi? Presumably this isn't his first time at said spa which has mixed facilities?