Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

😂😂

How does a bikini "make someone feel good"?

I bet there are women here who went topless on foreign beaches, I know I did, regularly, so I am certainly no prude. I think on the beach it's far more acceptable to show a lot more flesh.

In an indoor facility, which more confined, and obviously has no sun...why bother?

I was referring to your comments:

“I've also wore crotchless underwear …
I wear whatever the f I want. If there aren't explicit rules in the venue... I'll wear what I want.”

It is normal for a Spa to have a dress code, it is not normal for a dress code to have to specify that swimwear should have a crotch to prevent people wearing crotchless swimwear. It is assumed that the average person knows and understands this without being expressly told as part of the social contract. I would also add, it should be part of the social contract that you don’t wear a thong to a Spa where you will be sharing a jacuzzi with strangers, but call me a prude if you will.

erm they weren't topless??

You're depressed because I don't think it's perverted, unnatural or a great moral failing for a young woman to enjoy men finding her attractive? Because I don't think it must mean she's thick or vapid? In other words, because I'm not a total sexist?

You probably do, actually. Your other post was projecting like Cineworld.

And like some wag once said about the thong, if God had wanted you to floss your arse he would have put teeth there.

In that case do you think men should also wear T-shirts or swimming tops with their trunks (no speedos) also as they are not sunbathing?

Because if you look good you feel good, so feel confident which is surely how we want women to feel?

edit - Sorry, quoted the wrong post - meant to quote @Hijg 's "How does a bikini "make someone feel good"?"

Exactly!

If I was in a jacuzzi and 4 young men got in, I'd feel slightly uncomfortable and probably leave. Not because of anything they were doing, just that it would feel a bit uncomfortable to sit in a pool with a group of the opposite sex.

It's the language about parading and rubbing boobs and arses that is sending pervy signals here. It's the language of the tabloids who would drool lavisciously over young girls while purporting to be shocked.

Because they fit better than a swimming costume and they don't go up my bum.

When I was in my 20s, I had a very Sofia loren figure. All I focused on was my (tiny) stomach bump, but looking back at old photos, my figure was amazing. I didn't wear bikinis to titilate old men though.
Just like dh doesn't wear speedos to titilate, well, anyone. 😂

Because that's what's fashionable and they want to "fit in"? Same reasons they were makeup or get botox or any number of other things - because they think it looks good or they just happen to like it. Maybe bought for holidays so they can get a tan with minimal white areas...who knows! It's entirely up to them why and the modesty police on here are rather strange. Wonder if OP's husband sits in his parked car watching young women in short skirts and boob tubes go in and out of nightclubs at the weekend then goes home to complain to his wife about them being in public in skimpy outfits. Why does he care so much about young women's clothing, unless he sees them as nothing more than body parts and not people. Look away if you can't control yourself! Policing women's clothing and bodies is a known patriarchal control to subjegate and oppress women - there are still parts of the world where women are forced to cover to the point that they are unidentifiable and therefore, essentially, losing their humanity and identity as individual people. You don't need to look that far away though, just look at any rape or SA case here that actually manages to get to court - the defense goes after the woman over her modesty based on what she was wearing. The implication that she was asking for it because of her clothing choices. Same mentality as the OP and her husband here...that these women were deliberately trying to be provocative to try to tempt him or make him uncomfortable whereas, what they were actually doing, was using the facilities, just like anyone else would be.

Of course we want women to feel good, and millions of women look gorgeous in bikinis.
But thongs are too skimpy to wear in a jacuzzi... especially when they are making other users feel so uncomfortable they choose to leave.

It's easily solved, have a dress code.

That’s up to the individual isn’t it?
Why do high heels make some people feel good?

You don’t need to understand you just need to not be judgemental.

And yet I’m sure the OP’s DH wasn’t wearing any more than he was if he was sunbathing either.

I answered you anyway.😆

Leave them alone. You don't get to decide who wears what,just to make you feel comfortable!. Have a word with yourself

Well if he was also wearing a thong, he is a bloody hypocrite.🙄

Yes it is old bloke fantasy.

and as much as I would beleive a solo man did it, I’d also have serious doubts if someone claimed four young men walked in in skimpy swimwear and all started rubbing themselves seductively.

some people are so bitter and jealous of attractive young women they want to beleive this happened they want them to cover up. They want to attack them for not covering their bodies.

but four female friends out for a spa day can wear what the fuck they want to the pool, as long as within establishment Guidelines, and if anyone can’t cope with the sight of female flesh then they should leave. And had he done only that, there would be no issue.

but talking about them rubbing themselves, describing their swimwear in detail, the talk of them knowing what they were doing, the base pervy tone of it all says this is some old bloke who got all excited about some young women and detailed his sick fantasy to his jealous wife.

Why? You get in and sit in the jacuzzi, and it self-cleans every cycle (or however often, I don't know every hot-tub cleaning cycle!) so what difference does it make if you're naked, in a thong, a full-cover bottom, or a pair of shorts?

Usually, people don't stare at you as you get in so again, what difference does it make what you have around your bum?

Just that I feel that in society women "feel good" by wearing revealing/minimalist clothes.

That’s not what you said originally though is it? You lasts she used the word gross. Which is rude.

And if it were me, I’d use that as an opportunity to talk about how it’s okay for women to wear what they want and that it’s okay for her to feel uncomfortable. However, her feelings don’t get to dictate what other people wear.

I’d make sure that was no hint of shaming women for choosing to dress a certain way.

So what if they do? What is the problem with that?

Bullshit

Your husband was perving on some women having a shower and dressed it up as self-righteous moralising to you afterwards to absolve himself of his guilt.

What a weirdo. You both need counselling.

Yes, but you are taking my comment out of context. I was explicitly replying to the previous posters comment of "I'm all for women wearing what they are comfortable in BUT...."

I wouldn't wear a crotchless bathing suit to a jacuzzi because I personally think the bubbles would be uncomfortable 😂 I never said I found it appropriate. You're mixing up my very specific reply to a very specific comment with a wider conversation.