Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

Have you ever wore a thong? There's barely any material there, it doesn't provide any coverage at the back and only just covers the front and that small bit of coverage would easily be lost if it wasn't a perfect fit. It's very different to a bikini bottom.

Nope, the owner of the fat arse was also bending down.

It was the parading around that stood out for me too

Not unreasonable, OP. I'm a middle-aged straight woman and sometimes feel surprised at what some young women wear at the gym. I do not want to see your boobs or your undercarriage in gynaecological detail, thanks! Yes it does make me uncomfortable, and I don't think there's anything weird or misogynistic about that. It's just having normal boundaries.

I have wore a thong.
I've also wore crotchless underwear.
I also wear big "granny pants".

I wear whatever the f I want. If there aren't explicit rules in the venue... I'll wear what I want.

Anyway... my entire point was YOU contradicting yourself. You are apparently all for women wearing what they are comfortable in once it suits your idea of what they should be comfortable in.

I'm very comfortable in crotchless pants.

They were probably having a girly day out, as long as the place doesn’t have a rule about bikinis I see no issue. I’ve been to a few girls spa days and I always like to look a bit nice and feel sexy and sometimes that means a bikini. Enjoy it while it lasts because I don’t know if I’ll feel the same at 60 - I hope I do, but you never know.

But an arse doesn't move up to meet you... you bent down? An arse can't bend up 😂

Did they “parade” or were they walking?

It’s a shame your husband felt uncomfortable but he could always avert his eyes!

They were in a jacuzzi - surely it's normal to wear a bikini in that environment?

Your husband must have had a good look if he was so aware of how they were washing themselves and what they were wearing. If he was so uncomfortable with their bodies, perhaps he should have averted his stares and stopped perving on them. Good on the young ladies for wearing what they want and using all of the facilities, even if there was a pervy man present. He must have left because he knew he couldn't control his eyes and the women would likely have taken umbrage with his obvious perving. Either that or he was afraid of embarrassing himself by getting a raging stauner and getting chucked out for it. Sounds like this was actually his sexual fantasy and he probably snuck off to the changing rooms for a ham shank. Really sad that you think women need to change themselves so that your husband can feel comfortable. The shame that you both are trying to deflect on to these women is gross. In plenty of other European countries, men and women manage to have naked saunas and pools without issue yet you and your husband are such prudes you think it immoral to wear swimwear. Perhaps your husband should wear a wetsuit to the pool so that women don't have to see his half naked body? He's managed to sexualise women for just existing in this space. Glad to hear that his presence didn't stop them using the jacuzzi. I'm fed up with men monopolising the jacuzzis at pools so that women can't use them. Any time I've taken it upon myself to go into a jacuzzi with men present they've just leered and made me uncomfortable (and I wear a very modest swimsuit and am neither young nor attractive) so it's good to hear these women weren't out off by your husband's presence and used it regardless.

Hope he doesn't watch love island - he might combust!

And I find it very hard to believe that they all ‘rubbed their breasts and arses’ in the showers. Very odd indeed. Your h must have been watching for quite a while to see so much… 🤨

I understand that - the first part of my post was referring to the fact many women do complain they can't wear skimpy clothes because men look at them.
The second part referred to my own opinion, that skimpy bikinis do not belong in swimming pools.

It’s really no one else’s fault that your DH was embarrassed over his own leering at 4 women wearing bikinis in a pool setting.

There's a difference between a bikini and a teeny tiny bikini with no coverage of your arse or boobs.

I think in gyms and spas we can tolerate a lot of other people's bodies, because it's necessary to not wear that much, but it's respectful of others to not get your arse out, at least.

Agreed but we know why that would make us, as women, uncomfortable. The reason he felt uncomfortable is very different from why we'd be uncomfortable!

They weren’t rubbing their boobs and arses though - maybe your husband just wishes they were.

When he says they knew what they were doing, does he mean he thinks they were somehow trying to lure him into the showers with them? 🤣

🤣🤣

Personally as a woman it doesn't really bother me what other women wear in a pool or spa. If the OPs husband really is that upset he needs to take it up with the facility

Use your imagination...😎

Have eyes.

Eyes that are capable of looking in other directions.

I agree with you OP and it's not down to jealousy at all. It's preferring people - even with perfect bodies - to just cover up to a reasonable level and not let it all hang out just because you can. Nothing wrong with a bikini, but when did it become normal to walk around in a couple of strings in public? The women who dress like this are usually the same attention seeking idiots who moan when people look at them!

Glad he was covering his arse and not rubbing it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Again, it's different if it's a women-only facility. I still don't want to see your arse, but I won't feel intimidated by it. But I can imagine OP's husband feeling quite uncomfortable to suddenly be surrounded by bare-arsed women. I expect they wanted the jacuzzi to themselves and knew that this was a good way to make him leave.

Honestly, it's weird how little empathy women on here have for men. You can only conceive of men being lecherous perves? Do you not know any men who just would feel embarrassed and uncomfortable in that situation? If it had been your teenage son, would you still think it was all his fault?