Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

She was standing for long periods on stairs waiting for slides, directly looking at bum cheeks at her eye level, and she’s not used to that so she commented on it to her mother, afterwards. What is ‘bad mannered’ about that exactly? Or are your children told they’re bad mannered for sharing normal thoughts appropriate for their age?

A bikini is acceptable. A thong isn't. There isn't much difference between a thong and crotchless.

Exactly. You wear a thong bikini, show everyone your arse, people are allowed to say ‘look i can see her arse’

If that was my post, I entirely believe the boob and bum rubbing is a wholely made up fantasy in his pervy head.

Have I been part of a group of middle aged mums piling into a jacuzzi soley occupied by a manspreading overstaying male and then made him uncomfortable by taking up as much group space as possible? Definitely 😂

There isn't much difference between a bikini bottom and a thong bottom

If my child makes judgemental comments then they get told not to make comments like that and why.
If my child had made the comment you described I would have said we don’t call women’s bodies gross and women can wear what they like.

There is

Most people don't choose clothes solely because they are comfortable and practical. And there's plenty of judgement when they do anyway.

If I (still) had a fabulous figure then I'd be wearing the latest bikini fashions.

I don't (sadly) but I'm wondering if a group of middle aged overweight women (like myself) had paraded around in our bikinis - would your husband have felt as uncomfortable with that?

I think you are the one who is uncomfortable.

Most public pools/leisure centres have a ban on thong bikinis

The same women? They parade often, do they?

More of a difference between a thong and a crotchless bikini 😂
Hardly

This is one of those weird ones where people don’t want to either say directly ‘men and women are different’ or to admit their own sexism.

If a bunch of young 20 something blokes in tight speedos piled into a jacuzzi and chose to sit right next to a lone woman, I suspect most would think that was manspreading and intimidatory.

But, for women, it is somehow their right.

Personally I couldn’t care less, but if the OP’s husband is sensitive, his feelings are valid.

Of course, none of us were there and the devil is in the details.

Some women (obviously a very small minority) especially younger ones do like teasing men like that.

Why would it be? I'm a member of my local sports centre. We no longer have a jacuzzi but we have a steam room and a sauna. It's quite normal for men to outnumber women in both places.

If mixed space places exist these things are going to happen

Teasing men? Suffering fuck - they were probably having a shower

The language is a little prurient actually and quite male. Can't help thinking OP is enjoying describing these young girls to an audience of mumsnetters?

Lots of cool wives here. I knew exactly what sort of bikini OP was talking about when she tried to explain in first post. Barely there bikinis that are the size of a postage stamp.
Other posters calling OPs husband a perv for being uncomfortable...are you lot ok? If he was a perv he would have stayed, instead he was embarassed,uncomfortable and left.

If this was a group of men swanning around with thongs on gyrating their hips around and there was a lone woman in the jacuzzi, I reckon there would be uproar if she left as she was made to feel uncomfortable.
Women can be absolute arseholes and use this against some men at times, which is exactly what this group were doing.

Such sense.
The man left, he was embarrassed, and I can see a man of a certain age could well be. The double standards on this thread are quite something.

And there is a difference between bikini bottoms and a thong....anyone who has bent down in a shower to wash flip flops and had a fat bare arse shoved in their face by a thong wearing person...(of either sex) will stand testament to that. 😩

YABU for saying they were ‘parading around’ and ‘strutting’. Surely they were just walking?

And where else would you want women to wear bikinis if not a spa?!

You and your h are both BU.

So I can see how this would apply if she was making derogatory comments on their bodies. But she wasn’t. She was expressing discomfort (in her own 12 year old way) about seeing lots of ‘butt cheeks’ (curse those Americanisms) and thought that was ‘gross’.
If I was to correct her I’d say ‘please don’t say that, darling. It’s ‘bum’ not ‘butt’.

Surely if you are the one bending down... you're shoving your face in that bare arse?

The bare arse didn't jump up to meet you

I’m not saying these women were. I’m saying some (very small amount) do enjoy it.

A certain age? The OP hasn't said how old her husband is