AIBU to be confused: some couples don’t share a bed/room with their when they have a new baby?

[Raye7]

Today i discovered some couples don’t sleep in the same bed when they have a new baby (and the dad/other parent doesn’t help through the night). It’s not something we have done or even considered.

Does your partner sleep in the same bed as you, if you have a newborn/baby who wakes in the night?

Why do people choose to do this?

(obviously i know i am being unreasonable - people can do what they want - posting here for traction)

One she wasnt breasted and 2 I didn't feed it to her At 6 months she was perfectly capable of drinking from the beaker of water I left in the cot.

Or was I meant to be up ALL night with her feeding, interaction and encouraging wakefulness AND working all day as well?

Yes... it's called parenting

You're on here criticising people who are talking about breastfed babies wake habits and hiw wonderful you are when you clearly didn't breast feed so why the nasty comments? Also, FYI throwing a beaker in with a 6 month.old isn't recommended. You're advice is outdated and dangerous.

BTW.... no idea what you're blabbering on about interaction and wakefulness because nobody has mentioned that. You've just randomly brought it up.

Who am I criticizing? And where did I say how wonderful I was either I think you are imagining stuff

As for advice being outdated well most likely as DD is 35 soon. What's the worst that could happen with a beaker? What's so dangerous? Water spillage. Think practical not neurotics lol

Am I only only a shit mum to the one I breastfed for 3 months but ok mum to the others I breastfed longer? Made no difference to their lives.

Changing nappies for a start ( which HAS been mentioned . Or talking to them

I didn’t expect dh to do the night wakes because he was at work and I was on maternity leave. So I could at least try to get some sleep during the day.

Although with our second, he didn’t end up sleeping through properly for years, and barely napped, so in the end it was just whoever could drag themselves out of bed as we were both just exhausted.

Ah ya.. sure let's leave a baby sit in a dirty poo nappy all night 🙄

You are criticising people who have changed nappies and who breastfeed their kids through the night.

I never said anything about you being a shit mum... you're clearly making up hour own narrative.

The danger of leaving a tiny baby laying down with a beaker is called choking.... a bit more than Leakage 🙄

Yeah I was definitely lucky with all of mine that they stopped pooing at night really early!
But 7 month olds only poo at night if they're ill ime.

I don’t understand what you and confused about . I did this and it was the most efficient way to actually get some sleep . I combi fed my first and my dh would give him one bottle while I slept and he would sleep while I was breastfeeding . With our second I wasn’t able to breastfeed so we slept in separate rooms and I would sleep with earplugs in until he came in and handed the baby to me. Those few hours with ear plugs were bliss.
I don’t know how people DO sleep in the same room. I can hear the baby grunting and making noise and can’t sleep . How do people actually get a proper sleep if they don’t sleep in separate rooms ? And if you are ebf why should your partner not sleep in a different room for a decent sleep . It’s not like them even changing the baby is much help

6 months plus is not a tiny baby. Unlikely that a baby that can sit up and drink from a beaker the rest of the tine would suddenly choke unnoticed on a mouthful of water ,lAnd I haven't criticized anyone. Asking why is not criticism

I did say UNLESS poo.

It's highly bloody likely... hence why it's not recommended. Good thing you were lucky eh.

As for it to be called parenting as you said above, why are the dads allowed to sleep before working the next day then? Or are they not parenting?

What baby has choked to death in a mouthful of water then? And why is it more likely at night than during the day ? This would make the news.

Honestly just f××× off and have a bit of cop on. You're clearly outdated in your views and have nothing better to do than criticise current safe sleep practices.

You can easily Google your stupid questions instead of criticising strangers on the Internet incessantly.

Again... you're making up you're own narrative. When did I say dads could sleep as opposed to mothers?

If you're going to attempt Internet arguments... stop making things up and read what you are commenting on.

I'm asking for the REALITY. You don't seem to be able to provide any instances of it actually happening lol. Seeing as you've resorted to swearing you obviously have no proof

Very, very few babies can go from lying down to sitting up completely unaided at 6 months old.
Your memory and knowledge of infants has clearly lessened due to the considerable time that has passed since you had one.

I've 2 grandchildren under a year. The 7 month old sits herself up and the 10 month old walks around with his beaker without choking.

I have a video of DS at just under 4 months sitting on one of those bouncy chairs drinking from a beaker happily without choking. DD could sit herself up at that age

Physical abilities don't become less with the generations

A 10 month old isn’t a 6 month old, in fact there is an incredibly large difference.

The fact remains, most 6 month old babies cannot go from lying down to sitting completely unaided.

Not sure what one time your baby sitting in a chair really has to do with it, totally irrelevant.

I EBF and coslept, didn't want DH in the bed as felt it would make cosleeping unsafe. DH would take the baby from early AM, like 5 or 6am, and I would lie in to catch up on sleep. It worked well, DH got a longer uninterrupted stretch of sleep but got up early. I did the night wakings but got a long lie in. When both DDs were very very young and I was still recovering from birth, DH would do the nappy changes for me so I wouldn't have to get in/out of bed, but as they got older (and grew out of the newborn "Doing fifteen shits every hour" phase), I did the nappies myself

He didn't choke. And the one I left the beaker in the cot with COULD sit herself up then.

But no one has actually shown any instances of a baby choking to death on a sip of water

Your grandchildren reached these milestone much earlier than the average baby. You do realise that most babies don't do these at these ages?

DD didn't sit unaided until 10 months and didn't walk until 16 months.

All babies in our family couldn't talk until 2,5 or 3. Swings and roundabouts.