To tell friend her new partner was a former client of mine?

[Frienddilem]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I previously worked as an escort, something I started during Uni and continued part time until two years ago when I finally stopped.

One of my friends who I live a couple of hours from these days but still message regularly and meet up at least twice a year, has been seeing a new man. She sent me a photo of him in the early days and I thought nothing of it.

However, on further inspection after my friend shared some specific details, I have realised he is someone who met me on a few occasions in my line of work. 3 or so years ago.

He was perfectly pleasant and polite so no concerns in that respect. However, I feel like morally, I owe it to my friend to tell her? But also feel terrible that she is really happy and I would come along and potentially ruin it.

Thoughts welcome please? If it helps, my friend is fully aware about my former ‘job’.

YABU - not my place to say anything
YANBU - definitely tell her

That’s bollocks, just coz someone used these services doesn’t mean they don’t stop. What a ridiculous thing to say. It could just be he wasn’t ready for a relationship & didn’t want to lead anyone on but still wanted sex so rather than hope he meets a one night stand he pays someone.

I’m not happy to agree but I do. My ex husband used prostitutes in the past, starting with paying lap dancers for sex. I thought he’d stopped but he’d come back from being out and wash his k**b in the sink, I mean who does that?

I’m a bit disillusioned with men just now. The Epstein stuff hasn’t helped, I think the most disappointing was Deepak Chopra.

I’m this having brothers and a son who I hope I know to be nice blokes

Nothing wrong with sex and kinks, it’s the exploitation and the entitlement to young women I find depressing

Ever heard of client confidentiality?

It wasn't sex! It is as a bloody domination session. Even if it was sex OP clearly consented to do it. It's legal here. OP doesn't regret her career.

All he did was pay a woman to beat him up a bit. Imagine having this urge, paying for a session and then having the details of the session revealed.

some would say they dont have to have it, but yea it seems odd, can you imagine the reverse ect eg your best friend and his new gf oh by the way did you know your g/f used to be in the domination business etc

Why would you want to bring misery to a couple, especially your friend. We all have things we are not proud of. It’s up to him to tell her if he decides to. Not you.
It’s frankly an evil thing to even consider

Absolutely. You took control of your life and made your own narrative while making bank along the way. All of these "morally superior" women here need to relax. What a woman chooses to do with her body is up to her. As long as it is just that - her choice. Good on you!

Yes, I too hope my daughter grows up to be a whore.

🤦🏻‍♀️. someone needs to RTFT.

Don't interfere in other peoples' relationships - unless you know for certain something that's going to enmd up with them getting hurt. But, even then, prepare to lose their friendship.

A whore? Seriously? How boring you must be. You're exactly what's wrong with women in 2026. What a gross way to speak about someone else's life choices.

What a pathetic thing to say.OP gave it up some time ago and says she is honest about her past with any boyfriends. Not sure why so many posters think it’s fine to say vile things to OP just because she was a sex worker. Are you often so insulting and rude to people in real life ?

RTFT. She’s already told her friend and it’s fine. The ‘evil’ is all in your head.

Life choices have life consequences. And 'whore' is factual - that's what you call someone who has sex for money. It's a very old profession with a very old name.

This current trend of dressing it up as empowerment is bizarre.

Isn’t one of the main jobs of an escort , discretion?

What consequences are we talking about? That random women on the internet are then allowed to speak to you like you're a vile, worthless creature? OP is open and honest about everything. It absolutely is empowering for anyone to make choices for their own adult lives. And it sounds like she's had an amazing life with the proceeds of this "consequential" choice she's made.

She's already told her friend apparently. And yes..imagine paying and promising "this will be a private session I work disclose it to anyone" and then breaking the promise.

What ‘trend’ ? Who’s dressing it up ? Most sex workers are coerced in some way or trafficked, not to mention hooked on drugs, and lead miserable controlled lives, often subjected to violence and many have no way out. ‘Whore’ is a very disrespectful term to apply and there’s absolutely no need for it. OP has made things work for her and is in a secure financial position as a result. So where is the consequence ? Frankly some of the comments on this thread say much more about the posters themselves than they do about OP.

Would you say the same of a young woman who sleeps around with different men for her enjoyment (without payment). Just multiple one night stands?

You entered into a private contract for sex and were paid for your services with the implicit understanding that it was a private matter between you and your client. It was all consensual and you were not coerced. He gave you no cause for concern.
Your morals allowed you to accept such an arrangement so you have to accept that you are bound by the arrangement, to keep it private. It’s no different to any other private agreement for confidential services.
Keep your mouth tightly shut and do not let on you know him if/when you meet him.
It would be entirely different if his behaviour had given rise to concern or alarm.

Not at all. The OP chose to do it and has been applauded by many here and encouraged for her choices

She's already told her friend

Thread over