To be upset that colleagues think I'm cosplaying?

[Dalmatianshoes]

I've worked in a gastropub 3 shifts a week for about 18 months now since my youngest DC of 3 turned 15.

Dh has long commutes or overnights with work and I have caring responsibilities for elderly parents and 3 springer spaniels so I only really get a 5 ish hour window in the day to work which is why evenings and weekends in hospitality work best for me.

I was happily SAHM for the 3 DC for 17 years am now 49.

As the 2 oldest are at university now and the youngest happy to be alone some evenings I made the decision to take a job for a little bit of structure in my life.

I worked in hospitality as a teen and then in Banking prior to DC.

Finances weren't a driving force for getting a job. Just life enhancement really.

I absolutely love the job and being around my colleagues; a lot of them at teenagers and I enjoy the company and the working environment.

On valentines evening I headed out to the recycling store and overhead colleagues (I thought friends 😭) talking about me being a rich bitch and taking the job from someone poorer and I'm just playing at my job.

AIBU to be hurt by these comments?

I worked in a large outdoors shop years ago with someone who had a wealthy husband. They got married in their late 40’s, she had a grown up son who worked there too. She was adamant that she didn’t want to be a kept wife, apparently her husband was a bit mystified why she wanted to work when she didn’t need to but she was stubbon! She did 9am to 3pm three days a week on the tills for £6.45 an hour and she was fab. She knew how lucky she was, but just enjoyed the people, the work, and having a reason to get out of bed. I really admired her, we all did.

I should think your bosses appreciate your longevity in a role that is usually sees high turnover. And if you are working with a positive attitude then you are everything they want.

You dont need to defend/explain why you work.

And I don't understand this attitude of too wealthy to work so hop off and do voluntary work if you must be do something.

I dont "need to work" we could cope without my wage. But I like my job. I'm good at it. It keeps me sane.

At least you now know the truth about them. If you’re able to you should tell them what you heard and how hurtful their comments were.

I wonder if they’re assuming you don’t need to work for the money or if you’re flaunting?

There are quite a few youngsters at my workplace - late teens/early twenties. I like them, they're good company...but omg they are green. The crap that comes out of their mouths, honestly. All very opinionated but without the experience to back them up. They're in the stage of life where they're trying to carve an identity and hold their own, so you really do hear some strident, misinformed, basic shite...especiaIly about other colleagues. I am quite sure that I have been thoroughly dissected as well.
At 50, I can't be arsed to correct them or even gently offer a differing point of view. I just internally roll my eyes and stay sweet. They're young, full of themselves and will learn in time as we all do.
As I say, I like them but they aren't my crowd. They think they know but they don't know. Let them get on with it. Don't take it personally.

Please ignore @Macadamian, she is being ridiculous.

If you want to work and the job suits you, then carry on.

Like others said- you don't need to explain.

I worked with a wealthy woman once. (Law firm). She was damned good at her job, a supportive colleague. She had similar with people saying she had taken a training contract from someone etc (she retrained at the age of 40). She ended up quitting the job as she felt guilty and it got to her.

12 years later her husband has been made redundant on illness now for 5 years or so. They were scammed out of a significant sum of money from a family member and they are struggling. They need to downsize but have not sold yet. She's now doing temp work for minimum wage on a very ad hoc basis while her older DS is in a MH crisis.

That taught me that people who can work should work. It's not for some people with envy to dictate what they do because anyone's world can change in an instant.

You are just as entitled to work as anyone else! If you didn't work, I'm sure that wouldn't be right either! Who gave your colleagues the right to decide who is worthy of employment or not??? Honestly, money and perceived wealth brings out the worst in people. I would be extremely guarded on what personal information you give away, because these people clearly aren't your friends, they are acquaintances through work.

Apologies I think I misunderstood the meaning of the word. I'm auld you see.

I was using it as shorthand badly it seems.

i thought that this is what people on nmw do, gossip the minute someone leaves their proximity. Not excusing them , I work also in nmw job and try to mind my own business but unfortunately people come to me and start telling me their vile gossips also

Definitely not bragging.

But if someone said to you been up to anything nice recently and I mentioned I went to say, Wimbledon, for the finals then they'd infer it was an expensive weekend..they absolutely wouldn't know which hotel we were in and what ticket level we bought. So no not bragging, but just snippets of conversation get put together and opinions are formed.

And yes they know I didn't work for years, because that's just normal conversation between colleagues, that's not bragging.

Interesting...

not only this but they all are share their mobile numbers with each other and keep gossiping behind each other's back but are friends on the surface....how does that work? I have never been able to do this.....

@Macadamian she clearly says in her first post 'I absolutely love the job' so why on earth would she volunteer planting trees instead. How odd.

@Dalmatianshoes they were being unkind and I would also feel hurt in your shoes. Crack on, it sounds like you have found something which is perfect for your situation. From what I have read in the news hospitality is one industry where employers are absolutely crying out for staff.

I think a lot of people would be surprised to realise how many of their colleagues don't 'need' to work in the sense of relying on the income in order to live from payslip to payslip. Work is about so much more than receiving a salary or wage for many, many people, and on a national basis it's very desirable to have the highest possible labour force participation rate.

I think sometimes people just chat shite.

Don't read too much into it OP, it's good that you work and enjoy it.

Plus even more don't need to work as much as they do, there's going to be lots who work 5 days who could get their bills paid and everyone fed with 3 or 4. Not sure the complainers have thought through the implications!

Op just carry on you have the right to work if you choose. Especially if you’re lucky enough to enjoy it. Ignore the nastiness some people are just bitter.

I remember years ago hearing my boss on the phone complaining that one of the new women sales reps was probably working for a bit on ‘pin’ money. I was shocked at such a sexist attitude. So what if she was. It seems that things haven’t changed. It’s nobody’s business but yours OP why you work.

Exactly. People who work pay tax and national insurance. It's a good thing for adults who are able to be 'economically active'. Better still if you spend the money that you earn by supporting local independent businesses in your area.

Well this is what i was fully expecting on this thread......

How old were the two that you overheard?

I have worked with part time wealthy ladies before working minimum wage jobs. It never bothered me and I admire their work ethic because if I was in the rid position, you wouldn’t see me working.

It did frustrate the other people I worked with because they were jealous that they were working and felt they didn’t take the job serious. But all I saw was how nice it would be to work without feeling like you had to, very freeing.

⬆️ this absolutely.