To be upset that colleagues think I'm cosplaying?

[Dalmatianshoes]

I've worked in a gastropub 3 shifts a week for about 18 months now since my youngest DC of 3 turned 15.

Dh has long commutes or overnights with work and I have caring responsibilities for elderly parents and 3 springer spaniels so I only really get a 5 ish hour window in the day to work which is why evenings and weekends in hospitality work best for me.

I was happily SAHM for the 3 DC for 17 years am now 49.

As the 2 oldest are at university now and the youngest happy to be alone some evenings I made the decision to take a job for a little bit of structure in my life.

I worked in hospitality as a teen and then in Banking prior to DC.

Finances weren't a driving force for getting a job. Just life enhancement really.

I absolutely love the job and being around my colleagues; a lot of them at teenagers and I enjoy the company and the working environment.

On valentines evening I headed out to the recycling store and overhead colleagues (I thought friends 😭) talking about me being a rich bitch and taking the job from someone poorer and I'm just playing at my job.

AIBU to be hurt by these comments?

All much better than pouring pints for money!
The OP's said she loves her job and the hours suit her. Why the actual fuck do you think it's OK to judge her because sh enjoys something different from what you enjoy?

And I agree, complaint time.

Agree.

If there's such a high turnover of staff, I'd be delighted to have you on my team. Your work ethic probably shows your team mates up a bit, hence the nasty comments. People sometimes need to go to work for more than just the money and that is entirely your call, no-one else's. Keep enjoying your job OP. Maybe these people will be the next to leave!

Can't believe that only 2 people have mentioned the "cosplaying"

@Dalmatianshoes can you clarify what character you are dressing up as?

It’s almost a shame that they didn’t say it to your face so you could respond.

As others have said, the reason that any of work is no one else’s business. We are judged if we don’t work, if we work too much or not enough.

I admire you. You want to work because you enjoy your job when you have plenty else going on.

Head high and continue to do what you love.

And I wouldn't raise a complaint. Just rise above it, as you already are.

How do they know you are comfortably off?

In the 1960s my mum was one of very few women working in an engineering firm. She’d outstripped most of the men in her school qualifications and in her professional engineering exams and had won an award for her high marks. She’d more than earned her job on merit and did an excellent job whilst she was there. When she left to have me she was told that if she returned after she had the baby she’d be taking a job ‘that could have gone to a man with a family’. She had no intention of returning as she wanted to be a SAHM but the argument was still outrageous. This is in the same vein in my view. Jobs are given to the person most suited to the work, not to the person who society decides most deserves it for random reasons. In the same way that my mum’s job didn’t rightfully belong to some imaginary man, yours does not rightfully belong to an imaginary less well-off person.

I suppose one way to deal with it would be to pull up at the bins with all of the windows down blaring “Work” by Iggy Azalea out of the speakers.

“You don’t know the half, this shit get real, just a girl pulling pints for Louboutins..”

And that my sweet is exactly why they say things like this behind peoples backs. You’re being complicit in allowing them to keep doing it to others as well. Top marks.

Working for reasons that's aren't primarily about money doesn't necessarily equal working for fun. Wellbeing, structure, confidence, experience, adult human interaction - not necessarily fun.

It’s no one’s business why you are working! You aren’t taking anyone’s job your doing yours

Ignore and carry on enjoying your job.
In future don’t mention your lifestyle/wealth etc if you think it causes problems.

I think in hospitality especially, shifts are becoming fought over and there is chat about who needs them most. A student living at home for example would be seen as less needy than someone working in the bar to pay their rent. I think that's just normal in that sector unfortunately and sometimes even managers/owners buy into it and allocate hours accordingly.

I don't think it means they don't like you; it's just a narrative people say. It would be a shame for it to spoil your enjoyment of your job.

How to tell that somebody hasn’t worked in hospitality before… no such thing as a formal complaint in that industry! Just hard graft, job insecurity and unfair working conditions.

I went to a local gastropub last week. They asked me for feedback on the booking via email. I replied to say the food was fantastic as always but the young waiting staff could crack a smile and not look so bloody miserable about being there. You are made to feel like an inconvenience and it doesn't make for an enjoyable experience. I would have been more than grateful to have someone like you OP who actually wants to be there. Call me a grumpy old woman but I'd much rather have service with a smile and a bit of chat than be grunted at.
They probably feel intimidated by you OP because you make them all look like the miserable bastards they are. Let it be water off a ducks back.

To listen to some people, you'd think there was a shortage of hospitality jobs. As someone who likes to go to pubs and restaurants, I'm glad to see an obviously motivated worker doing well in the sector.

From what you’ve said, it sounds like you’ve been bragging about being ‘comfortable’ financially or how you’ve not had to work for years etc. Otherwise how on earth would they know this?

Where does this end? Technically either DH or I don't need to work , we could live on one salary, we don't NEED both, but we choose to for a multitude of reasons, some financial, but most not. Tbh OP I loved working in pubs and restaurants when I was younger and I suspect if health allows when I retire I would enjoy doing so again, working is good for the soul, I think I'd work in some capacity even if I won the lottery.

Sooooo it got to the point that you can offend someone by WORKING!

I thought the exact same- the header is rather misleading!

id just do your thing, people usually will always say x comment etc

Well they need to understand that having your own money is a crucial thing as a woman and you need to remember people say shot they don’t really mean when they don’t think you can hear so don’t take it too personally. I’ve got a big mouth so I’d call them out on it and tell them a few life lessons. Little shits 😆

Never ever apologise for working.

it’s is such a bizarre thing to bitch about. Someone having a job.

Women really can’t win, can they?

Horrible people.