90 year old male watching naked women on tv

[BetteDavisChin]

My cousin told me that her 90yo dad watches 'Babestation' (ugh, makes me feel queasy just typing that word).
He asked her to fix his phone at the weekend and she saw he had 572 you tube videos on it, some thumbnail stills showing close ups of young women's crotches (clothed).
She was upset and said she couldn't believe that a man of his age was looking at stuff like that. She also told me (which I didn't know before) that in the 60s/70s he used to go to the pub on work lunch times and Sunday afternoons to watch strippers.
I said I agree that it's gross, but try not to judge him, but she wasn't happy with me about that and she left. She hasn't returned my text messages since then.
I am going to give her a few days to process what's happened, then try to contact her again.
But AIBU to also be grossed out by the thought of my aged uncle perving over young women?

You seem to have been observing very closely! Perhaps take a better look next time to see if he is totally naked!

not sure what Babestation is but firstly there was a culture in the 70s where strippers in pubs at lunchtimes was quite common. Right or wrong it was part of pub life like smoking etc
just because your uncle is old does not mean he has forgotten sex. as long as its not illegal porn ie kids animals etc cannot see he is doing any harm.
my daughter who worked in a care home she said that the clients all from 60 to 90ish were all at it. not unusual to walk in a clients room and they would be bonking like loonies!

I've also done care work and yes, of course you sometimes see and hear inappropriate things in that job, especially when you're caring for people with dementia and they've lost all their inhibitions.

But the OP hasn't said anything even slightly related that situation; it's a completely different scenario to what she's describing.

I don't know.
In a world where it seems it's practically legal to rape, sexually abuse and perv over women and children, men excuse their frankly depraved behaviour as 'normal' even though most women have been subjected to their abuse.

At what point ARE we going to start judging men?

Because ignoring it and excusing this over-sexualised behaviour as 'normal' isn't helping women and children stop getting raped is it?

And for the apologists, stop saying it's a biological hangover of caveman behaviour. If that were even remotely true men would still kill each other on sight and be eating their own shit or whatever. Just utter apologist bullshit.

Stop normalising the over-sexualisation of men, you are excusing and enabling their fucking awful behaviour.

If Grandma isn't wanking away looking at 18 year old boys then why is it ok for Granddad to do it?

It seems men can evolve to learn and speak multiple languages, learn science to a level when they can operate on a human brain etc but apparently can't go more than two whole seconds without thinking of their dicks. 🙄 Ok..

If he used to go to strip clips, then he probably visited escorts too. I suspect the majority of men who go to strip clubs regularly pay for sex. It would be odd if they didn’t. Why would a man pay to get turned on and then have no outlet for the sexual frustration? He’s obviously just an ageing predator who still sees women as objects. You can’t switch that off.

I still don't think there's anything even slightly surprising or harmful about a man - especially an older, single man who has no other outlet for his sex drive - watching Babestation and looking at 'crotches'. Soft porn, 'glamour' model material and hard porn is, obviously, pretty focused on body parts for a reason, which is that this is what makes it sexually arousing.

This man is harming nobody by looking at this stuff, which is all entirely legal and extremely softcore. It's his own private business and I doubt he had any idea that his daughter was going to go through his phone when he needed it fixing.

People's sex drives don't just disappear when they get to a certain age, and at 90 he's unlikely going to find anyone to be sexually active with, so it seems harsh to begrudge the man a bit of enjoyment.

Jesus. It's really normal for adults to enjoy sexual content.

So long as they're not abusing anyone else it's absolutely fine.

The idea that 90 year olds should either not have any sexuality or just amuse themselves with thoughts of sex decades ago is not only ludicrous but ageist.

And before anyone says 'it's just pervy old men', it isn't.

My Grandma was widowed at 23 in 1957 with 2 DC, had some sexual relationships before having 2 kids and marrying again in her late 30s then widowed again in her early 50s.

An old boyfriend from between her marriages sought her out when they were both in their 60s and had an active sex life and general life till he died about 10 years later.

Then she was on her own till she died last year aged 92 and remained interested in a physical relationship and 'fancying' men till she died.

Sadly, they seemed to be mostly gay celebrities who would never have fulfilled her desires even if they were the same age but still..

I think if she'd known how to access porn she'd have loved it.

Sexuality doesn't just stop at a certain age for a lot of people.

If he used to go to strip clips, then he probably visited escorts too

No, he probably didn't. At all.

{mention:Coatsoff42}I@Coatsoff42I know exactly what you mean. I got a right roasting on here the other day because I said I warned my late FILs Carers that he might sexually harass them due to his possible dementia. He'd already sexually harassed two female cleaners and I had felt it my duty to warn any woman entering his house that he might sexually harass them. I was made to feel guilty as I was told he wouldn't be able to help it due to his possible dementia but in my opinion, the safety of those women was more important than him and his dementia.

My friend's mum is 88 and a massive fan of very steamy romance novels, ideally in the fantasy/supernatural genres. Her favourite is one that features a male lead character who has a 'Jacob's ladder' cock piercing, apparently.

She has sticker on her Kindle that says 'Good girls read smut' and 'Put your hands on the headboard' which is a quote from a scene in one of the ACOTAR books.

Mind your own business. As long as its not snff movies or chld p*rn its not illegal.
Probably the only pleasure the old geezer has at his age. Its not for you to clutch your pearls

Yeah I think age is irrelevant really. It is gross regardless to find out any relative is looking at porn. And it can be shocking at that age but I’m sure more common than we think.

My DW’s 82yo DGF died and not long after we were sorting the Sky bill out for DGM as had been in his name. Found a long itemised list of the porn films he’d been buying, including the night before he died, he was also paying subscriptions to the x rated channels. My big mouth DW told her GM they’d been paying and she looked stricken and was outraged, so we convinced her it was probably just because they’d had sky for 30+ years and never updated their subscriptions and she accepted that, so it’s a secret my DW will take to her grave but she’s is off course grossed out by it!

Babestation is basically like an advertisement for paid-for channels with more explicit sexual content.

It's clothed girls in revealing outfits who jiggle and promise more if you pay.

It's incredibly tame.

I'm Northen born late 70s and had no idea about the strippers in normal pubs until I read a book about the Yorkshire ripper and the environment he grew up and worked in and read how many pubs serving factory workers and other industries routinely had strippers on, even on a lunchtime before men went back to work.

I think it was always exploitation and gross but not at all what people think of or imaginedl now in lap dancing clubs.

My Dad went to one in the late 70s as part of his 'initiatiion' to the workplace. It was a middle aged woman who looked like most of the young men's mums who stripped down to her knickers at the end and laid on the stage and got up with fag-ends stuck to her back. Most of the blokes in the pub weren't really paying attention or might whistle at the sight of tits.

It wasn't the glamorous unattainable lap dancing clubs that 'stripping' means today and might give a bloke a hard on.

It was just like you said, pub entertainment. Though disgusting and misogynistic.

WOW, where has that come from on a post that grandad was having a wank?

How do you know granny isn't doing the same to a perfectly legal website and age?

You don't like men, that's fine :)

The bar is so low these days that I'd be delighted to hear of a man any age looking at boobs or crotches or strippers, rather than real recordings of rough or violent sex.

Some time ago there was outrage at an old people’s home providing strippers as entertainment. Half of me was amused, and the other half could see why some were outraged. I suppose it was better than a singalong. But strippers don’t seem as bad as some old gent masturbating to only fans!

My Gran in her 80s would watch Ghost-Hunting with Yvette Fielding and Derek Acorah and not only believe it was real, but that objectively camp Derek was the kind of man she'd ' not complain about being alone in the dark with, if I was scared I'd just grab him and hold on'

I'm glad she died before she found out about Yungblud, the favourite of the middleaged plus women. She'd have been beside herself.

He ain't dead yet.

It's gross at any age, OP. However I think you'll find this thread an eye opener on older people's sexual activity...

@TheSloughBeadle "It seems men can evolve to learn and speak multiple languages, learn science to a level when they can operate on a human brain etc but apparently can't go more than two whole seconds without thinking of their dicks."

I don't think that's far from the truth to be honest. There's plenty of evidence to back it up.

As for:

"for the apologists, stop saying it's a biological hangover of caveman behaviour. If that were even remotely true men would still kill each other on sight and be eating their own shit or whatever. Just utter apologist bullshit."

I don't think they have evolved too far from any of that. They're still by a huge margin the main perpetrators of murder, rape, assault and torture (often just for fun) worldwide.

I'm not a male apologist by anyone's standards, but I am a realist. I'm also quite old and experience informs me that men aren't going to change any time soon. In fact I think women will far surpass them sooner.

In a world where it seems it's practically legal to rape, sexually abuse and perv over women and children,

@TheSloughBeadle Last I heard it was very much illegal to abuse and perv over children. There are very serious consequences if this was child related. Perving over adults is different, it really isn't helpful (and rather concerning) that you are referring to two very different things together.

Nothing wrong with masturbation. A lot wrong with using prostituted women, often exploited, sometimes trafficked women as your wank fodder. That’s the difference between online porn and drawings on your cave wall.

And the “All men do it!” line is belittling and insulting to men. There are women who are very assertive about it because they have to be.

Your brain and desires don't age like your body does. As long as the young women are being paid and want to do this kind of work, fair enough. Leave the poor old sod alone, it's probably the only pleasure he has these days. But maybe get someone else, male, to sort his phone next time.

My Mil is nearly 80 and she's watched Heated rivalry at least 4 times already. Is that ok or does it make her a pervert?

😆

They like 'em younger, so maybe 80 year olds.