Strange situation on the train with parent

[Chips098]

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

Gross.

People being dragged up.

He's just a kid I know, but the man was deliberately trying to intimidate me/make a point and that disturbed me a bit.

"At least we know where he gets it from"

Easier to criticise others than look at themselves.

Just be glad they were only in your life for a brief moment

Of course you weren't in the wrong. It seems to me that a scummy misogynist is teaching his kid to have the same attitudes. I'm sorry this happened to you.

I understand the father probably felt his son was being judged.

Yuck. I watched an old advert for 'pop tarts' earlier. Two little boys sat at a table, holding and using cutlery properly, chewing with their mouths closed and not speaking with their mouths full. So nice.

Some people are just plain anti social. He absolutely knew that was why you looked in his son's direction. This is how we end up with generations of awful people.

Another day, another dickhead trying to intimate a women.... who had the audacity to correctly non verbally imply his ill-mannered child show a drop of consideration for others in a public space...

Maybe work on not letting your feelings show on your face so obviously?

You could look at it that he was defensive of his son, which is a positive but he was definitely trying to intimidate you. I would’ve hated this. Ugh. Why do people (especially men) have to behave like twats? No decorum any more.

It is horrible behaviour especially from the man, but staring at someone for even a ‘second longer’ is quite a long time in that context, suggesting you were looking at him for a few seconds.
The adult was highly unlikely to correct the child just because a random person was looking and if you’re honest you were looking and judging.
Situations like that I’d deliberately look away and distract myself. Some people get off on exhibiting anti social behaviour I wouldn’t pay it any attention or show it bothered me. Some want the attention.

It doesn’t sound like the boy was doing it on purpose but obviously the dad was aware that you were watching hence his reaction. Maybe hes fed up on his child being judged for something he can’t help. No one knows for sure.

Yeah put all the emphasis on the woman in the situation to minimise and restrict her behaviour, but not the other way around. 🙄

Yes.... because she's the problem.

Not the childs lack of consideration and bad manners...
Not that's mans dickhead response...

No the real villain in this story is the woman who looked at someone who was inconsiderately disturbing others for a fraction of a second too long.

She should suppress control and minimise herself...I would say be seen but not heard but she didnt even speak!😅... and every other (male) fucker can do whatever they like?

That's what you think????

This would have made me feel uncomfortable too OP.

Id like to think I’d have asked for a sweet and down it back to them! Of course I wouldn’t, I’d have just sat there and seethed.

What hope is there for this boy to learn good manners!

Like father, like son! 😂

Was he doing it to make you uncomfortable or to support his child? Surely a 12yo eating like that has some SN and as his parent you're probably often offended on his behalf by all the people who "look" for a moment too long.

If he was doing it to make you uncomfortable, he was making a point about you being rude/judgemental.

I'm not saying he handled it well, but you'd support that kind of petty response from mothers wanting to support their child with SN.

The only behaviour you can control is your own, male or female. The OP can’t prevent the child from chewing sweets with his mouth open, or his father from copying him, having noticed her obvious disgust. She’s just doubled the amount of gross mashed-up sweets she’s looking at.

Maybe the child does have SEN, I understand he's only a child, it was the parent who weirded me out.

I suppose its not a bad thing that a Reform voter has worked out how to use public transport. But, poor child. He's a misogynist bully. Best ignore.

Sadly, every woman reading this thread will have felt intimidated (or worse) by a man in public and then be made to feel like it’s her fault.

Don’t fall for that misogynistic bullshit. If you were a big burly bloke he probably would have asked his kid to be less noisy, but because you’re a woman he got off on intimidation and it probably gave him a little thrill.

This is a man problem, not a you problem.

And I’ll bet he calls himself a “good man” too and says “not all men”, when all these mini acts of micro aggression being deemed socially acceptable is what makes the much bigger acts of aggression feel acceptable to the men making them.

Or perhaps, the father of this ill mannered little boy could correct his son’s behaviour and offer an apology? As opposed to his childish display of twatishness?

When my DGD was in primary school, aged around nine I think, I went to an event in her classroom where parents/grans were taking part in activities sitting around communal tables. One activity involved tasting cheese and cubes of bread and slicing tomatoes etc.

DGD was overweight by anyone's observation - as the plates were being handed round to taste some children did/did not take a morsel but DGD partook each time. There was one adult who more than once glanced across the table in disapproval - I could see what she was thinking. I was tempted to stuff a big chunk of cheddar into her miserable gob I was so incensed!

As an aside, said granddaughter is now a tall slim 16 year-old who is arriving this afternoon for a couple of days 😊

Eh? That's a completely different and not anti-social behaviour.

The man was a dick.