Strange situation on the train with parent

[Chips098]

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

You shouldn't have to avert your eyes from anywhere in public. If someone is behaving like a gross pig, regardless if age, you're allowed to let your gaze linger on them. That sound is so triggering for some too, me included, and all the dad did was reveal why his child wasn't taught manners, because he doesn't have any.

You weren't wrong to look momentarily, the dad was within his rights to behave like a moron and so freedom was upheld that day. It's not a nice interaction but he sounds like one of those people who hardly anyone could have a nice interaction with in public tbh.

Presumably this is the first time you've ever encountered an anit social scuzzbag OP? You must live in a very sheltered world.

Sorry but a kid that she should know to eat with their mouth closed. Vile

I think that's the point; if everyone controlled their own behaviour, society would be a great deal better, and being in public would be easier for everyone.

Why’s that then?
We react with disgust to disgusting things.
Why is it on her/us to squash down the disgust at their behaviour??

Thread adjacent but I actually recall the exact moment when I learned how important it was to eat with my mouth closed.

At my Godmother's (who looked after me 1 dpw) at lunch, when she quite simply said something about it not being very nice. I was a bit embarrassed. Was definitely under 7? 6 maybe...

Point is - never under estimate one single interaction teaching a kid something! This probably wasnt the right time though. Hopefully someone will tell him....

I wonder where manners have gone sometimes 🤔 😕

I also wonder if the OP had said something to the loud chewing man, but not the child obviously, whether this would have been a good idea? That is to say, would it be a step too far? Or do we need to call out these things every so often?

I've never dared to say anything but I think as I'm getting older and more perimenopausal, I'd be more likely to say "Would you be so kind as to chew a little quieter please?" OTOH, I would be a bit worried about personal safety etc as you never know how someone might react...🫣

Very difficult when they are right opposite you. I don't think you did anything wrong and think they were horrible. Getting up and leaving as some have suggested would have probably given them smug satisfaction.

Agreed, though we as a country in 2019 decided that it didn't matter I would argue.

I think the OP could have said something instead of gawping.

"Blanketing children with additional needs as incapable of learning and impossible to parent is harmful to his community though. I am talking about the bigger picture."

Blanketing children with disabilities with 'they can all do it if they and their parents try hard enough' is harmful to his community of people with a severe learning disability.

Yes… the boy was being judged because he has an arse of a father.

Father was wrong but so were you 🤷🏼‍♀️

They do (and in the examples I'm thinking of, they've been more likely to use physical violence against a man in the same situation. Not that I'm saying I've never seen mums threaten to use physical violence against other mums at soft play if you politely ask them to stop their little darling bashing other, younger children while they're invading the toddler play area; I have known this happen a lot too!). Worse, if people behave like this, they're generally doing far worse at other times, like the parent who let their daughter bash the plane seat in front, even though the passenger had a spinal issue which made it agony for the whole flight.
Some posters are saying they try to stay away from stuff like this egstay off public transport/swimming lessons etc, but these kids are going to be sharing edication/health facilities with yours, so you can't avoid them completely.

So it your child was picking their nose on the train, you would too?

Adult in charge of boy was bizarre and passive aggressive.

Are you sure it is anything to do with you? It could be that the dad eats with his mouth wide open and the child has learnt it from him

Worth reading this piece in today’s Guardian about male behaviour in public spaces. It’s exactly the same sort of aggressiveness as in OP’s story.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/feb/17/men-push-abuse-women-street-stranger?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

This article resonates with me, especially the bit below. Do these men (who are strangers) know that their rage affects women for life, that it's not just forgotten in a few hours?

“Don’t let that prick ruin your day,” a woman said, after the incident. She appeared – and it is always a woman – like an angel to offer support and solidarity. But it did ruin my day. I walked around feeling heavy, ruminating on how anyone could behave like that, how he could break the social contract so completely.

And the next time I go out alone, on a weekday morning, I assume the brace position. I feel the threat of violence just under the surface. I carry suspicion with me. I wonder what my next encounter with a stranger will look like.

Well with a father like that it's not surprising the child eats like a pig!

Why should she? The boy had no manners, and it’s clear where he gets it from. Are we in some kind of race to the bottom, where in a public place one should no longer show consideration for the people we’re sharing a space with?

Yep - I wonder why he was being judged?

all sounds a bit weird

Its hard not to look at someone when you are on the train, especially if they are making a lot of noise & looking for2 seconds longer than you should isn't a crime. Sounds like the dad was trying to make a point but possibly it would be better if he used words.

Pair of grotty bastards. Not sorry.

Even just reading that has made me angry! I cannot stand people chewing loudly and would have had to have left the area.

I wonder if the child had SEN but either way I’d have moved as I can’t stand hearing people eat. Also my face ALWAYS shows what I’m thinking!

It’s interesting that the man knew why you were looking without any words being exchanged. It does make me wonder, like others, if his son had SEN and he was being a bit defensive. He might be fed up with what he sees as people judging his child.

I would have really struggled with this. I’m pretty sure I have misophonia as I feel absolutely murderous at the sound of chewing. That is no exaggeration. Well, not much of one😆 And there are a number of other noises that make me angry, like dogs barking and cutlery scraping. My sister used to eat noisily when we were children and I used to copy her to try and get her to stop. Looking back, she may not have been especially noisy. She was just unfortunate enough to always be sitting beside me!