Strange situation on the train with parent

[Chips098]

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

Or most likely he was just a little twat being brought up by a big twat.

Gross! The dad was a wanker, there’s no need for him to do anything like that - it’s just unnecessary posturing.

Honestly it’s why you couldn’t get me on public transport if you paid me, cba dealing with that sort of situation!

No she wasn't - I was referring to my reaction to the woman which would have been anti-social had I acted on my instincts.

Well let's be honest - he was, wasn’t he? You were staring and you got caught out. And now you’re complaining about the result.

You were and are giving this too much headspace. It was a kid eating a wine gum in a slightly unpleasant way. He wasn’t drowning puppies.

Just give him some time....

This is fairly typical of a new type of parenting, teachers see it a lot. Rather than agree the child should be wearing the uniform, go in and argue your whole family only wear sliders as if it is a religious rite. These people end up with what they deserve.

We assume the OP doesn't eat like that.

I think I would have moved seats, if possible.
Like others said, he was trying to intimidate you and I think would have had a way of being thoroughly nasty if you had communicated in any way with them.
Steer clear of people like that!

Absolutely gross. I don’t blame you OP, but then would have probably said something. I think all regard for my own safety disappeared out of the window along with my ovarian function since being menopausal.
Men like this are gross. Was there anywhere you could have moved to?

I’m ashamed to say I’ve ended my son’s swimming lessons sooner than planned because I just can’t cope with other people any more.😳 Every week it’s the same children issuing blood-curdling screams in the little soft play area, running up and down and clambering on the backs of the seating I’m sitting on. The noise just goes straight through me and makes me wince. Headphones don’t help. I’m afraid I told one to “Go away and sit down” last week.

This was after one of its useless parents had come and sat next to me, stinking so badly of fags that I had to move.🤢 I can’t be certain the words “Euugh, you stink!” didn’t exit my mouth as I got up either.

The father was an unmitigated tosspot. I’m guessing you’re not a six-foot-six built-like-brick-shithouse male because somehow I don’t think he’d have done that if you were.

@Chips098 "The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me."

The father is a fuckwit. The only thing to do with people like that is to avoid them as much as possible. Sadly, the son will probably grow up the same way.

I was once in McDonald's (I'd been drinking) and became aware of a commotion. A man, with two children with him, had started shouting at a staff member, calling him an unpleasant name. He then walked towards the door, picked up a half-empty milkshake, and threw it at the counter. The children were a girl and boy, maybe late primary-school age. I remember thinking, "That's the example the boy will follow." Depressing, but what can you do?

We always used to say in the staff room that’s it’s inevitable the parent who defends appalling behaviour in their child will one day be the recipient, that it was only a matter of time. It was true. By year 11 such unsupportive parents came to us for advice by which time we were counting down the days before compulsive education for said child ended. They were stuck with them. Result.

I bet he wouldn't have tried to intimidate you if you were a man. Men don't have to put up with that shit.

Yeah he was trying to intimidate you. I'd like to have seen him try that with my bald, 6 foot tall brother.
Whst a horrible thing to do. That kid, and so many others with similar parents, has no chance. That man is supposed to be guiding him and teaching him. Not mimicking his bad manners so as to mock you. That's truly awful.

I'm just glad he didn't confront you.

Where’s the fun in that?

This is a great outlook that I will probably use in future.

Why cant he help it? Eating with a closed mouth is not difficult.

Not for most, but this 12yo obviously does find it difficult, and there'll be a reason for that. The Dad had had enough of his son and his parenting being stared at and judged.

And quite right too!

Where did this flabby shite of "don't judge" come from.

For the most part, it just benefits the shits, the ignorant and the gross.

It's about time we got back to judging those who have pulled society down to the level of a zoo.

Well he was and quite rightly so. You had a choice to speak upor stay quiet and from the sounds of it, it was the right thing to do or it would have escalated.

Dad should have pulled his son up, not joined it. But then you walk away and think, poor kid with a Dad like that!

YANBU

Ugh some people are awful. Good manners are about consideration for others in shared public spaces. That parent had no idea, and he's raising a potential young thug.

I sat opposite a woman on the train going to work at the weekend. She was coughing and not covering her mouth. She saw me look and continued theatrically.
I just covered my nose and mouth with my scarf and turned my head away.
I deliberated saying something, but didn't want to waste my energy.

Unfortunately there are a lot of parents like this around. Don't want to parent their child at all so let them do whatever they like or can't be bothered. There was a thread on here recently where someone got very upset because their DH told their dd to close her mouth when eating sweets.

He probably knows his son is anti social and where he gets it from. Probably encourages it. No doubt, his son will grow up as anti social as his father. Which is sad for society but absolutely no blame at all on the OP.

I teach teens. Some if the younger boys still pick their nose. I don't say anything but I will rest my gaze on them a moment or two longer than usual and they get the idea and stop. There is nothing wrong at all in an adult mildly indictating to a PhD that they are behaving in a way that is generally unacceptable.

Oh yes. God forbid a mere woman has anything but a blank, expressionless face in public, at all times, in the presence of males. Blessed be the fruit.