Strange situation on the train with parent

[Chips098]

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

I mean, that's the ideal solution, but how likely do you think that is to happen? If he was the sort to do that, this situation wouldn't have happened in the first place.

An apology for what? Nobody knows why the child was eating like that, or what look was on the OP's face when she was staring at him, or why the Father reacted the way that he did.

One of the joys of public transport!
Boy may have SEN issues, but dad definitely sounds very passive aggressive. I would have moved if at all possible...

The child was probably showing off and the father was encouraging him. Good luck with the child when he's a teenager.

Wanker dad bringing up child. I wonder how the child will turn out......

You did nothing wrong.

I would correct my child in public if they were doing something anti social which includes eating like the way OP described.

Yeah. And?
If he is modelling that sort of crass behaviour to his son, then he needs to get used to it.

The OP said she may have looked a second too long - I was likening the man's response to my own inner feelings when the women at school looked disapprovingly at my DGD. I didn't shove cheese into her mouth, that would have been anti-social, but I certainly felt like it!

People can be super-sensitive if they think their child is being judged.

I hate seeing anyone eating with their mouth wide open as much as the next person.

I'm NOT saying the child had additional support needs but IF he does, his dad is probably hardened to others' judgement...to the point of antagonism.

Of course, he might just be an antagonistic arsehole.

Try to forget about it. Who knows what it is that you encountered.

That is vile and such bad manners the sound of people eating gets me very angry.

I think if a mother had reacted in a similarly PA way to someone "looking a moment to long" at her child's poor behaviour, she'd be getting applauded....

YANBU.

The ‘father’ was being rude, intimidating and setting a bad example. A-hole.

Sigh. That is not within the OP’s gift. She can only control her own behaviour

Some people are just arseholes who like to make a point.

I don't think he was doing it to you because you're a woman though, people like that are twats to everyone.

The point is your dgd was not being anti-social, this man was.

Why are you making a false equivalence here?

They just wouldn’t do it to a big man, they are cowards.

Disgusting. You did well not to say anything. I’d have had to leave my seat, even if it meant standing in another carriage.

Kid has obviously learnt his manners from his Neanderthal dad

Her behaviour was fine. Human beings are not robots, if someone is behaving anti-socially, it’s natural to look.

I saw an huge child in a kids play area who was just rough and feral and throwing things. Someone told him off and his pig of a mother then came in and started throwing the toy balls at kids and they were laughing. Absolute scum pair.

This. It was performative. Be grateful they were only in your life briefly!

This sort of thing is discussed online under, how to intimate women. It used to be spitting etc as they walked past. But that often now gets picked up on by other men/against the rules on public transport etc.
I deliberately play games on my phone, so I appear busy. This stuff is all over the manosphere.

So this is something I think about. What if you were autistic and/or had misophonia and weren't merely judging but actively uncomfortable? (I understand you were actively uncomfortable, most people would be, even if they masked it).

Who has a need in this situation? The boy to chew loudly and with his mouth open, or the person who is struggling with the behaviour more than averagely? Or both?

It's a parents job to notice when their child is doing something that makes someone uncomfortable and weigh up whether on balance it is appropriate to try to help their child to modify their behaviour or take another action. It's not always a straight forward judgment call or we wouldn't have aibu.

In this case the man behaved in a way that was meant to be intimidating and the kid learns this is an appropriate way to go on.

You haven't met my enormous ex who is a very big man.

He constantly had men being arse hole's to him just because.

Ugh. I usually have headphones and bury my head in a book on the train.