Strange situation on the train with parent

[Chips098]

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

You can't think of any reason a parent might "let" a 12yo eat like that, and then strike out because people stare? Lucky you.

I have a son who has always eaten with his mouth open. He's autistic. Maybe the dad is just tired of the funny looks.

Judged, and rightly so. That is disgusting behaviour and a kid of this age should know to keep his mouth shut when he is eating. It's a real problem for people with misophonia, and eating noises are the most common trigger.

Even those who don't suffer from this do not, generally, like to listen to sloppy eaters.

That sounds terrible for your friend but I'm quite sure he wouldn't have eaten with such glee as the OP has described in the two morons she met.

Not judging, not saying anything, favours anti social types. We've all been trained not to judge and that is why they get away with it-they know decent people dare not say anything.

I think that attitude is changing though but there is a lot to be done-the unmannerly, undisciplined, lot have the upper hand right now and have reduced society to shite.

They eat with their mouths open; they swear loudly; they drop litter; they belch loudly; they ignore the rules of the road; they use their 'phones as if they were at home; they put feet on seats; they piss in the street; they wear trousers with their arses showing; they leer and a hundred other things.

We sit silently for we must not judge but we should start again. Judge and shame. These are not dirty words. They are words that hold the values of society together and make it safer and more pleasant.

Hooray for judging and if we judge together, they will get back in their box.

Ok but I would feel quite sick to see an open mouth masticating.

If your son cannot, really physically cannot, eat with his mouth closed then is it necessary for him to hit in public, a few feet away from someone who may feel sick at seeing swirling food making its way down his throat.

If it is necessary, do you think that you could say to the unfortunate witnessing this something along the lines of, "sorry about this, My son can't help it."

And if you don't think you should, that it is just tough shit for anyone who is witness to it, why? Why should your son be able to do this but it is wrong for anyone else to give a funny look.

It cuts both ways. Your son can't help it you say. Ok. Well then , at least have the courtesy to acknowledge that it isn't pleasant for others to watch.

Most people will appreciate that and then try to hide their disgust and save it for those oiks who deserve it.

Of course l can think of plenty of excuses! They both sound grim as each other. His child’s poor behaviour doesn’t give him the right to behave as poorly. But the apple doesn’t fall from the free l suppose

Free = tree

I find it interesting you have assumed the person I described is a man. They are actually a women and wouldn't do any of the other things you have listed.

I do not think what the man did was right. I just wanted to offer a different perspective on why someone might be eating like this. The OP has mentioned the post is more about the man's behaviour though.

Some other posters have said that the dad might be fed up of the judging, which I understand as I don't like the person close to me being judged for something they can't help. However, I wouldn't have reacted the same way he did and I think he was very rude.

@LilacRobin

So, I assumed your friend was male, so what! Maybe I should have written THEY, and avoided misgendering.

It is mostly men and men in training like the kid the Op described.

Judging their behaviour will restore society and will help everyone, particularly women.

We can't face up to these shits on a train, while everyone else looks away or thinks they mustn't judge because it might just be a snapshot.

We can't do that and that is why we as women particularly need most people join in with the judging.

A whole carriage judging against one fuckwit is what we need,

I didn't say you couldn't judge anyone's behaviour. Feel free to judge.

All I did was offer an explanation as to why someone might eat that way. I haven't defended the Dad and I have already said there is no way I would have reacted that way.

yes, @LilacRobin I understand that.

No-one would blame your friend if she muttered a quick "sorry about this" and she might very well do so.

Those who can't help it would be happy to do that. If they stand on their dignity and refuse to offer a quick acknowledgement then they can expect dirty looks!

I would want to say something because it would mark me out from The Great Unwashed who do it just because they can!

If someone muttered a quick apology, I-and I'm sure most of us-would say something along the lines of, "Don't worry" or "It's ok."

It makes life more pleasant for all of us.

I might not be poor behaviour. It might be a number of medical reasons (not excuses) as described above.

Have you heard this saying:

"When you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras"

How unimaginative. That's how diagnoses get missed.

well he should have been judged.

So a bit of an arse bringing up the next generation of arse. They really are not lonely enough.

"Saying ‘maybe they have SEN’ as an excuse for horrible parenting puts children with additional needs on a back foot and lowers the general expectation of what they can do. Sorry for the rant 😅."

People saying that makes no difference to my disabled son's life.

You likely had your justifiable juddgy face on and he decided to be a dick about it.

Don't give it another thought.

You have assumed that. The truth is far more likely to be that the man has no manners, eats badly hence the kid being the same. The fact he looked at you doesn’t indicate he was deliberately doing anything. That gives him far more credit than he deserves, probably.

There really are some utter morons in the world and not talking about the kid. What a horrible father and so it will continue.

Blanketing children with additional needs as incapable of learning and impossible to parent is harmful to his community though. I am talking about the bigger picture.

The father sounds like a prick and ultimately if that's how the child eats, for any reason, maybe have a bit of sense and give him the sweet when you get off the train.

Pair of savages

What's weird is the father obviously twigged what the issue was really quickly and decided to copy it. Grown adult acting like a brat.

My grandson as mentioned above does not have SEN he had a medical condition which wasn't diagnosed until he was 13.

Thug dad= thug kid in the making.

I was replying to a response to my original post, where I did actually talk about that as a possibility.

“Obviously we don’t know anything about this specific child, he could of course have SEN that means he can’t understand closing his mouth to eat, he could have a problem with his jaw that makes it difficult or even just a really stuffy nose.”

I was just discussing the posts suggesting SEN was an excuse for lack of parenting.