To choose football over son

[Newuser75]

I’m just wanting to get some opinions.
My husband the other day told me that if his football team get into the fa cup final he wil choose to go there instead of watch our son perform in his one off drama show that he has been practising for months for.

For context, this is not the first time (by far) that football has been prioritised over family life and our son is autistic and has only recently had the confidence to go to any kind of club let alone perform on a stage and he has a leading role. In fact, until a couple of months ago he wouldn’t even sing in front of my husband (only me).

I think he should prioritise his son but he says as it would be a special match he would see nothing wrong in going.

I’m aware at this moment it is hypothetical but I still disagree.

But the fact that they were Welsh is less relevant than the fact they were ALSO a football fan which is an odd assumption to make. You could equally have been put through to the colleague sitting next to them who, like me, if you'd said "bet you're happy with the score last night!" wouldn't have had the foggiest what you were on about!

Why is football considered some sort of universal common denominator? If you noticed they had a welsh accent and wanted to establish common ground to me why is that the thing you decide to chat about rather than the time you actually visited wales or your best friend went to Swansea uni, or that you love eating welsh cakes or how the cardiff devils are playing?

I might not say it's "pathetic" to pass down an allegiance through generations like the pp but I don't see why it's something to be celebrated either. Exactly like religion or politics, if someone said "I vote Labour because my dad did" with no other rationale then yeah, I would judge them as being a bit lacking in independent thought!

If he put football before his son, I'd divorce him. Plain and simple. He doesn't even know these people. Why is supporting them more important than supporting his son? And I'd make it clear that his marriage hangs in the balance here. If you're less important than watching a fucking game, he doesn't love you and doesn't deserve you.

For goodness sake. It's the national sport, so many people who are not otherwise bothered are aware of what's going on with their country's team every 4 years in the Euros. You said nobody had ever explained why it is so important to some (many people). I and many others have explained it. Refuse to accept it and judge everyone as inferior/lacking in culture and independent thought if you want. I'm hiding the thread now.

And by the way, you brought up Taylor Swift in the first place. There may be no spikes in DV but she has notoriously some of the most obsessed and vicious fans on the internet so I just don't think it's a good contrast.

I went to a Festival and missed my daughter’s first day at High School .. her Dad was around.

With Taylor Swift we had loads of kids missing school to get ready for the concert near us. I don’t doubt there will be people who missed important events for that. Just like there are people who missed important events to watch Oasis recently. But it really is only football that makes people so mad.

I’m from near Liverpool and I’ve been asked “red or blue” even when I was on another continent. Football can connect people from thousands of miles apart and for some of us it is part of our heritage. If you choose not to understand that it just shows a small mindedness on your part tbh.

I had an exH who literally prioritised football over everything including me and his kids. It's so unattractive and ultimately shows you what their priorities are. Note exH.

If he was really a good caring father, they'd be NO question that his son's show came first.

Yes.