I’m a teacher; does this mean school holidays are solely my responsibility?

teacakeandsandwiches · 2026-02-16T17:07:08+00:00

Or is it reasonable to ask DH to take some annual leave then so I can actually have a life of my own a bit? You can probably tell which way I’m leaning. This holiday I’ve arranged to see friends tomorrow and Thursday. DH quite put out he has to take time off but honestly is this really so unfair?

FreshInks · 16/02/2026 17:08

It should be arranged in such a way that you both get an equal amount of free time. Is he getting more at the moment?

UnhappyHobbit · 16/02/2026 17:10

What does he use his annual leave for? How much does he get per year?

ThisIsMeTryingNow · 16/02/2026 17:11

Honestly, it’s a balance and depends on what works for your family. I’m a teacher and DH is a standard 9-5 worker. I cover almost all of the holidays, aside from when he has leave for us a family. If I want time to do something else (go out with friends etc), we cover that through holiday clubs. I don’t ask DH to take annual leave unless it’s exceptional circumstances as I’d rather he saves that for time for us to be together.

Ca2026 · 16/02/2026 17:11

Probably depends on how much leave he gets and what you do as a family in that time.

Assuming you asked a long time ago and not just this week?

KittyPup · 16/02/2026 17:11

Yep, your responsibility to look after the dc. That’s one of the perks of the job. If you want a day to yourself, book them into a camp for the day. Unless you’re about to drip feed that your dh regularly takes days off in term time to go out with friends? I’m not sure why you can’t just do it in the evening when dh is home. If you want a day to yourself then either book a camp, ask a family member or do a swap with a school friend where you both do a day and have the other one off. I certainly wouldn’t expect my dh to book off annual leave so I can go out with my mates. I’m also a teacher btw.

Original poster

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:11

UnhappyHobbit · 16/02/2026 17:10

What does he use his annual leave for? How much does he get per year?

Five weeks. So obviously this would not cover school holidays in their entirety. However … I don’t think two days is much to ask!

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Usernamenotfound1 · 16/02/2026 17:12

I don’t know. How does it affect his work/annual leave/family plans?

if it means he ends up short of annual leave as he’s taken it to look after the kids when you could have done it, then I’m with him.

if he’s self employed and loses a days wages, or if he has an important deadline or job on, I’m with him.

or if you’ve done it short notice- some employers don’t like short notice.

if he has enough annual leave to cover these days, take some days for himself, and leave some for a family holiday/family days out etc then I’m with you.

Moonnstarz · 16/02/2026 17:12

When does he usually book his leave for? If he only books days when you don't need childcare then you aren't unreasonable at all. If he usually books time off when you are all home to go on holiday/do family things together then I don't think you have any issues and presumably he will take leave later in the year.

Original poster

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:12

KittyPup · 16/02/2026 17:11

Yep, your responsibility to look after the dc. That’s one of the perks of the job. If you want a day to yourself, book them into a camp for the day. Unless you’re about to drip feed that your dh regularly takes days off in term time to go out with friends? I’m not sure why you can’t just do it in the evening when dh is home. If you want a day to yourself then either book a camp, ask a family member or do a swap with a school friend where you both do a day and have the other one off. I certainly wouldn’t expect my dh to book off annual leave so I can go out with my mates. I’m also a teacher btw.

Seriously, you’d actually get a friend to be responsible for your child rather than their father!?

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Brewtiful · 16/02/2026 17:13

It depends on your set up. I do almost all the holidays but DH does every school drop off and many of the school pick ups during term time. He takes a few weeks off during holidays so we can do stuff together throughout the year but leaves some left over so he can cover any sickness because it's not possible for me to do that during term time.

FreshInks · 16/02/2026 17:14

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:11

Five weeks. So obviously this would not cover school holidays in their entirety. However … I don’t think two days is much to ask!

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Does he book that during school holidays or when the dc are in school?

WonderingWanda · 16/02/2026 17:14

I awlays did the bulk of childcare, it was essentially why I but dh always took time off to do family things and also days here and there to give me a break.

Usernamenotfound1 · 16/02/2026 17:14

Maybe he’d rather use his leave so you could all have had a day out?

if I booked a days leave and dh said oh I’m off out for the day, bye- I wouldn’t be amused.

it’s rare we get the chance to all go out together.

BudgetBuster · 16/02/2026 17:14

Can you not arrange to meet friends at weekends? I won't lie, I'd be a bit miffed to have to take 2 days annual leave for my DH to see his mates midweek - unless they live abroad or something.

I'd have no issues taking leave for medical / dental appointments etc but otherwise I try to keep my leave for kids illnesses, my own appointments and for family holidays. If I started taking days off so he could see his mates midweek then it'd eat into the time I have off to spend with our family as a whole.

Was this booked awhile ago or just booked recently?

Original poster

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:14

Moonnstarz · 16/02/2026 17:12

When does he usually book his leave for? If he only books days when you don't need childcare then you aren't unreasonable at all. If he usually books time off when you are all home to go on holiday/do family things together then I don't think you have any issues and presumably he will take leave later in the year.

It’s a mix. We’ll do a holiday in August but this will almost certainly coincide with the bank holiday, so only four days. Then five at Christmas. So that still leaves three weeks for him - he does take days off during term time and I’ve no issue with that at all but otherwise I literally always am either at work or have a child with me and that means I can’t really do anything much!

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TemuTrinny · 16/02/2026 17:14

I think he should take annual leave that benefits you both. So if he takes a day off for him to get a child free day then you should get one too and vice versa. Do you think he should use annual leave days for him to see his friends?

Yellowcar22 · 16/02/2026 17:14

My DH only gets 4 weeks annual leave. He uses 2 days to have a sporting break each year. The rest of the time is for family breaks. I cover all school holidays as I'm off. However he also covers weekends if I want a break away and will also cover evenings so I can meet friends. However, if he was using some of his AL to have time off to himself term time I would expect him to use some to cover the kids during the holidays so that it was fair.

SMM2020 · 16/02/2026 17:15

As others have said, it depends if he uses his leave to take the occasional day off during term time to do the things he wants to do. It should be no different for you imo.

TheChosenTwo · 16/02/2026 17:15

When I had a term time only job I did the majority of the holidays on my own without dh. He was (and still is) self employed and saved his holidays for when we went away together. If I wanted to arrange child free meet ups with friends I either did it in the evenings or did swaps with other family members who also had dc and holidays off.

Original poster

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:15

TemuTrinny · 16/02/2026 17:14

I think he should take annual leave that benefits you both. So if he takes a day off for him to get a child free day then you should get one too and vice versa. Do you think he should use annual leave days for him to see his friends?

Why wouldn’t he? He never has but he’s taken annual leave before just because he fancied a day off - isn’t that kind of the point of days off work? I don’t mean that in an arsey way, genuinely just asking.

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Cyclistmumgrandma · 16/02/2026 17:15

As an ex teacher, the school holidays were always my responsibility and that was fair enough. All husband's leave was taken in school holiday time and we did things as a family.

Original poster

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:16

I’m surprised how many think I’m unreasonable actually! I guess if we used ALL his leave for family holidays maybe but we’re not that rich 😂

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MayasJamas · 16/02/2026 17:16

My holidays don’t align entirely with my kids’ holidays, so it’s necessary for DH to take leave days for the weeks when I am at work and they’re off. Otherwise, yes I consider it my responsibility, and a pleasure. But my kids are teenagers so it’s not hard work, and I can go out without them etc. When they were younger, I’d build in a couple of nights for them at grandparents. DH gets so little holiday compared to me, I want him to save it for family holidays and the times when I (in my very inflexible job) can’t cover their hols.

KittyPup · 16/02/2026 17:16

teacakeandsandwiches · 16/02/2026 17:12

Seriously, you’d actually get a friend to be responsible for your child rather than their father!?

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If their father was off anyway (say for example weekend) then of course their father. A random Thursday in February where he needs to book a day of annual leave off so I can go for lunch with friends, then I wouldn’t expect that.

Swapping days with a school friend is a very common thing - how do you think people who don’t have school holidays off manage to get cover for the whole years worth of school holidays?? Clubs are expensive so many parents help each other out. One parent has their child and a friend one day and then the other parent reciprocates on another day. That way they only need to cover one day but get 2 days of childcare.. and it doesn’t cost anything. I’m not sure why you seem so offended by the idea?

confusedlots · 16/02/2026 17:17

I think it depends what he’s using his 5 weeks annual leave for. If it’s mostly to spend time with you all as a family when you are all off school, then I think it’s reasonable that he mostly saves it for that. If he’s taking a couple of weeks on golfing holidays with his mates every year then it’s a bit of a different story and I can see why you would be resentful.

But I can’t imagine a situation where I’d be asking DH to take annual leave to look after the kids because I wanted to use my day off (I work part time) to meet a friend. Attend a hospital appointment maybe, but I would arrange a better time to meet up with a friend.