I’m a teacher; does this mean school holidays are solely my responsibility?

[teacakeandsandwiches]

Or is it reasonable to ask DH to take some annual leave then so I can actually have a life of my own a bit?

You can probably tell which way I’m leaning. This holiday I’ve arranged to see friends tomorrow and Thursday. DH quite put out he has to take time off but honestly is this really so unfair?

I was a teacher and a single parent and loved the school holidays so I could spend time with my own child. If I'd had a partner I would have preferred them to take days off to cover sickness, appointment or INSET days and to go on family holidays.

It doesn't have to be a holiday or expensive, just extended time together.

But if he's taking 1 or 2 random days off, then yeah, you should be able to do the same.

Although I think it's a fair point that he likely covers more sick leave with kids.

It would never occur to me to ask my husband to cover time off over the holidays, I’ve always just had them with me every holiday. But he can be more flexible if needs be compared to me during term time.

If he uses annual leave to have days off for himself than you should be entitled to the same. Otherwise he gets days off with no children and you don’t. Can’t believe anyone would find that reasonable.

I'm a teacher and DH takes 2 weeks off for a family holiday in summer but uses the rest of his leave to take his army cadet detachment away for weekends and annual camp or to take students away to be assessed for Duke of Edinburgh.

Holidays are my responsibility.

I think it works in different ways as far as I can see from this thread.

Perhaps a key point is I didn’t go into teaching for the holidays / childcare reasons. I went into teaching for a variety of reasons but I’d already been teaching for nearly twenty years when I had my first child. So, I do do some things in school holidays. Of course, now they are mostly about childcare but I do think there’s still some time for me.

Otherwise, all those boring but necessary things like eye tests (need to book one) hair appointments, car being serviced, smear test (!) dentist either don’t get done, get done with children in tow (not ideal) or are crammed onto Saturdays.

What do you mean by 'crammed' into Saturdays?

Surely you'd only have one appointment at a time?

It would be weird to cram in an eye test, hair appointment and a car service on the same day.

Because she didn't mention it in the first post

Also a lot of hairdressers open late, so could be done in an evening, taking the car for a service is surely a drop it off and collect later - choose a garage that isn't in the middle of nowhere and you can take the kids still - go to a park, soft play while it's being done, have lunch and go back to collect.

You are literally describing what every working parents does - either at work or has a child with them. A day out with friend just wasn't possible when mine were young as one of us was always at work (shift work).

You dh should be taking his leave during school holidays too though, that family time is a real perk of your job. We never got that as our leave didn't stretch that far, we had to take it separately.

YANBU - I don’t get a lot of PPs. I hope he is just ‘grumbling’ because it is last minute and not because he is genuinely annoyed

Bit different as am not with kids dad, but yes he expects me to cover all holidays (with the exception of one week in summer). He prefers to spend his annual leave with his girlfriend and her kids it seems.

Eye-tests/dentist I'd always book altogether so I have mine at the same time as the kids, so in the holidays. Hair at weekends so I can go interrupted. Smear - grandparents have them for the day.

But...DH is self-employed so non of those are worth him losing a days pay. Although 5 weeks AL is easily taken up with actual holidays and essentials. Life is pretty much like that with young children. When they're a bit older you'll get a break with play dates. Then once they get to the teen years you basically get the whole holiday to yourself! You just have to grin and bear it for a few years while they're little.

It would yes - but it means that Saturday after Saturday would be taken up by them.

I didn’t mention it in my first post as I didn’t realise the norm was (judging by this thread) non teaching partners in a relationship with teachers take all their annual leave in school holidays. I don’t begrudge DH time to himself and I’d hope he wouldn’t to me.

You need to end up with roughly equal amounts of time to yourselves, however you work it out.

What’s your point? I was just responding to the OP’s posts. It wasn’t a personal dig at you. Many people have said the OP is BU since she updated that he has days off to himself.

When I was teaching, yes, the holidays were my responsibility. DH used his AL when we went away or for INSETs/other necessary odd days.

If I wanted to meet friends for coffee/lunch, they generally had kids a similar age anyway so we’d do something all together. If I wanted to do something child-free, I’d do it in the evening.

Neither of us are teachers but both DH and I take all of our annual leave in school holidays and spend it all as a family. That’s just how we prefer it. But if he’s getting days off to himself then you should get the same.

It would yes - but it means that Saturday after Saturday would be taken up by them.

Would it really though?

I get my eyes tested once every 2 years and I probably get my hair cut once every 4 months.

I'm not sure how often you need your car serviced as I don't own one, but I can't see these things taking up 'Saturday after Saturday' 😳

This probably sounds more argumentative than I mean it to, but don’t you ever want time to yourself too?

That's not what that is! The kids get a playdate and the mums each get a bit of them time.

I put YANBU as it's unfair that your DH gets the occasional day off for himself and he won't let you have the same.

But YABU to describe Northern Ireland as "sort of abroad" 🙄A teacher living in England should be well aware that NI is part of the UK, and certainly not "sort of abroad".

It’s a big ask though, especially if you have more than one child.

YANBU to want some child free time off work.

However your DH should be taking time off in school holidays. Unless he’s doing big renovation projects in random weeks off work term time I wouldn’t be overly impressed with my DH if he took random weeks off to himself and let me solo entertain DC every school holiday.

When I was a SAHM I used holiday clubs if I needed a medical appointment in school holidays.

I work term time, DH travels for work a lot, I asked him to try and arrange his trips for school hols as much as poss so I don’t have to take time off work. So often have the 3 kids 24/7 in the holidays 😁😁😅😅😭😭 (24/8 this week! Day 2! 💪) He takes them away by himself over the weekend a fair bit when I start going ‘OH MY GOD I HAVENT BEEN ALONE IN MY OWN HOUSE FOR MONTHS!!’.