Would I be unreasonable to ask a child to be a bit quieter on their iPad in a restaurant?

[WouldYouLikeSomeRibena]

I know this is a touchy subject and it’s a public place but I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to be this angry?

I have taken my friend out for lunch to a restaurant in the lakes for her birthday.
It’s a nice place usually very busy, the food is good and lovely views and usually full of adults dining as it’s quite pricey and no kids menus or high chairs.

Today there was a table in front of us with two women and 6 kids having drinks looking at menus.
The kids keep getting up and running round, talking loudly and one boy was roaming between tables constantly coughing without covering his mouth. In the end a lady on the next table told him to cover his mouth as he was hovering near here and then told the other kids it wasn’t safe to run round.
One of the women was doing a weak “sshhh” that was getting ignored, the other seemed more embarrassed and in the end she suggested they leave and they did.

There are two other tables with kids on iPads but one has headphones and is sat a lot further away so I can’t really hear it and I don’t think there is an issue at all when using headphones.

At the other table a couple are sat near to me with a girl of about 7/8, they are looking at their phones and the girl is on FaceTime on her iPad to another girl with no headphones. It sounds like the other girl is playing a game on a console and both are getting excited and shouting at each other with the girl in the restaurant getting louder and shouting instructions and shrieking occasionally whilst bouncing up and down in her chair.

Other people keep looking over but the parents are oblivious.
Since I started writing this post their food has come and the couple are eating and talking to each other, the girl has propped the iPad against the salt and pepper and is continuing her FaceTime call talking with her mouth full.
The tables are pretty close together and I’m really pissed off about it and want to say something. My friend is also annoyed but worried about confrontation and suggested speaking to staff and asking them to talk to the couple about disturbing everyone.

I was just wondering what others would do? I’ll be really pissed off shelling out almost £100 for a meal that’s supposed to be a celebration and we can hardly hear to have a conversation and I’m disappointed because I wanted it to be nice for my friend.

On the other hand I don’t want to cause an argument and it’s possible people will stick up for the family as we are a pretty child centred society.
I thought I’d ask other opinions so I can assess the risk of that happening.
Would I be unreasonable to go over and ask the couple if they can ask the girl to be quieter or do you think I have no right as it’s a public place and you can’t police people like that?

I just don’t understand the mindset like the people on the other people with kids who let them disturb everyone and just don’t give a shit. I expect it to a degree in places like pizza express or Toby carvery but it feels selfish to bring them to a more adult environment if they are happy to just let them disturb everyone.

I feel awkward approaching the staff as they haven’t already said anything, it might be the best approach though as they are really the only people with any authority to comment.

It is so bloody selfish. My kids are now 9 and 7 and have never had an iPad out at a restaurant. There is no need and it is not a habit I ever wanted to encourage. I do use them on transport or waiting around. My rules have always been headphones or muted. No-one should have to listen to anyone else’s noise from an electronic device.

They shouldn't be allowed to act like annoying brats.

What an odd extrapolation to make. Person wants a bit of peace and quiet in a nice restaurant = person doesn't want children to exist at all, in your mind? Really? Bizarre. Anyway, it doesn't kill them to exist quietly at times. In a nice restaurant should be one of those times. Additional needs aside, they should be being taught how to enjoy a nice meal out without needing to be running around or Facetiming their friends at the same time.

And the 'kids will be kids' stuff is the kind of thing ineffectual parents tend to come out with a lot. Just saying.

You should have asked to be moved.

We were out for dinner sometime last year and there was a baby screaming at a nearby table. We got up and moved to a different table and said we didn’t want to hear a screaming child. Caused a bit of a drama.
I think it’s very bad form tbh. People going out for a nice meal generally don’t want loud and / or feral kids nearby.

Thanks and thumbs up a million times.

Have these places not thought of having a ‘family area / quiet area in their seating areas.

It's half term. They're literally only out for a week. Move tables if you hate it. Tell the waiter why.
Let a child be a child once in a while before they grow up to be a unhappy adult. Completely quiet and scared to speak out in any situation that makes them uncomfortable.

How is moving tables when the child is running around all over the place going to work?

Awful behaviour and is partly the reason I am so fussy about where I go to eat out.
Too many people have no idea how to behave.
I don't want to be around phone calls or people watching their phones.
I would rather eat at home.

Agree with this.
Don't approach the people. It's unlikely to end well.

I’ll be really pissed off shelling out almost £100 for a meal that’s supposed to be a celebration and we can hardly hear to have a conversation and I’m disappointed because I wanted it to be nice for my friend.

If this isn’t an exaggeration and you really were struggling to hear each other and a conversation, then you absolutely should’ve said something, I would have done.
If you wanted the meal to be a nice celebration for your friend, it might have been an idea to put your phone away instead of writing such a massive post on mumsnet. What was your friend doing whilst you sat writing this?

As a former child whose parents imposed boundaries on me (including, shock horror, not allowing me to run around in restaurants or use tablets at the table) I can promise you that this did not ruin my childhood or cause me to become an unhappy adult who is scared to speak out. Honestly what an odd response.

Good grief. My 5 year old can behave appropriately in public adult dominated spaces like pubs and restaurants because she's been taught to. A restaurant is not a soft play centre. Parents that allow their children to disturb others like this need challenging. It's basic manners.

I eat out regularly with my children and firstly, they never have iPads at the table and if they did, I would make sure the volume was off! Secondly, they’re not allowed to run around. If they need to stretch their legs, an adult can take them for a walk. I bring paper and pens or a book for entertainment. I’m also no perfect parent but that’s terrible parenting. I would definitely say something.

I would definitely say something

Duplicate post

I’d have asked the staff to have a word. It’s not a public place it’s a private business.

I have been in this situation and asked the staff to move my table to one which was quieter without children blasting their iPads. No point in confronting family as they have already proved themselves to be ignorant and selfish by allowing the children to behave in this way.

This is utterly bizarre. 'Let a child be a child'? There are a million other ways to let a child be a child that do not involve noisy use of iPads in or running around a restaurant.

It's the parents who are at fault- ignoring their child/ren and allowing them to behave poorly with no thought to other patrons. Selfish and lazy parenting.

Trust me. You’d much prefer the quiet, predictable sound of Paw Patrol than you would a 3 and 4 year old screaming and knocking things over. And no, this isn’t a “well you need to teach them to “behave” issue”. A 3-year-old has zero impulse control and cannot simply “sit nicely” in a restaurant. Their brains just aren’t developed enough to know how to do that yet. It’s also not a “well you shouldn’t take them to restaurants” issue. I rarely take them to restaurants, but I’m a single parent and on the rare occasions I do, it’s so I can have the chance to have some lunch out and catch-up with a friend. I deserve a tiny bit of a life outside my children and I don’t have the privilege of being able to leave them with another parent. That doesn’t make me a self-absorbed twat with no consideration for other people. That’s why I bring their iPad! And why I usually bring headphones. It was one occasion that I forgot. So what was I supposed to do? Let my friend down and cancel just because I forgot a pair or headphones? Or not give them the iPad and let them run riot in the restaurant? Cos that would be far less considerate of me

Half-term, I wouldn't say anything to be honest. But maybe that's because I would be there with a 9 and 10 year old, showing them that what they are witnessing is bad behaviour and it isn't ok but let's not let that ruin our day.

I know many children who have managed to sit sensibly in a restaurant, especially when adults put the effort in to talk to them and entertain them. No need for a tablet to make a child behave.

I have moved tables before now and the parents can make what they like of it.

Not a good idea to confront them, especially if it’s going to make your friend uncomfortable. Raise it with the staff, ask them to find a solution