Would I be unreasonable to ask a child to be a bit quieter on their iPad in a restaurant?

[WouldYouLikeSomeRibena]

I know this is a touchy subject and it’s a public place but I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to be this angry?

I have taken my friend out for lunch to a restaurant in the lakes for her birthday.
It’s a nice place usually very busy, the food is good and lovely views and usually full of adults dining as it’s quite pricey and no kids menus or high chairs.

Today there was a table in front of us with two women and 6 kids having drinks looking at menus.
The kids keep getting up and running round, talking loudly and one boy was roaming between tables constantly coughing without covering his mouth. In the end a lady on the next table told him to cover his mouth as he was hovering near here and then told the other kids it wasn’t safe to run round.
One of the women was doing a weak “sshhh” that was getting ignored, the other seemed more embarrassed and in the end she suggested they leave and they did.

There are two other tables with kids on iPads but one has headphones and is sat a lot further away so I can’t really hear it and I don’t think there is an issue at all when using headphones.

At the other table a couple are sat near to me with a girl of about 7/8, they are looking at their phones and the girl is on FaceTime on her iPad to another girl with no headphones. It sounds like the other girl is playing a game on a console and both are getting excited and shouting at each other with the girl in the restaurant getting louder and shouting instructions and shrieking occasionally whilst bouncing up and down in her chair.

Other people keep looking over but the parents are oblivious.
Since I started writing this post their food has come and the couple are eating and talking to each other, the girl has propped the iPad against the salt and pepper and is continuing her FaceTime call talking with her mouth full.
The tables are pretty close together and I’m really pissed off about it and want to say something. My friend is also annoyed but worried about confrontation and suggested speaking to staff and asking them to talk to the couple about disturbing everyone.

I was just wondering what others would do? I’ll be really pissed off shelling out almost £100 for a meal that’s supposed to be a celebration and we can hardly hear to have a conversation and I’m disappointed because I wanted it to be nice for my friend.

On the other hand I don’t want to cause an argument and it’s possible people will stick up for the family as we are a pretty child centred society.
I thought I’d ask other opinions so I can assess the risk of that happening.
Would I be unreasonable to go over and ask the couple if they can ask the girl to be quieter or do you think I have no right as it’s a public place and you can’t police people like that?

I just don’t understand the mindset like the people on the other people with kids who let them disturb everyone and just don’t give a shit. I expect it to a degree in places like pizza express or Toby carvery but it feels selfish to bring them to a more adult environment if they are happy to just let them disturb everyone.

I feel awkward approaching the staff as they haven’t already said anything, it might be the best approach though as they are really the only people with any authority to comment.

Tbf, regarding the iPad watching only, not the running around, I’d rather hear the sound of a kid’s iPad than them crying, screaming or running around, which is way more annoying. Yes they should have headphones but maybe the parent forgot them and the iPad’s the only way to stop them running rampant. I’ve used it before for my kids in a restaurant without headphones when I forgot them, because without it they’d have been be far more annoying to other dinners. Always kept the volume low though and it never looked like it was bothering anyone

There are so many parents who just really don’t care about anyone else. My kids were not perfect and I wasn’t a perfect mum but they never ever ran around in a restaurant, I wouldn’t allow it, not even once. We played card games, read books, chatted about various things and a bit of colouring in. If my children couldn’t behave in a restaurant I simply wouldn’t have taken them. I’d find it too stressful as I could not let my children ruin other people’s experience of eating out. iPads and phone use in restaurants is a joke, especially without headphones (how oblivious their parents are is astounding) I’ve seen parents shove the iPad in front of their kids before they’ve even settled in their seat or looked at a menu. Kids glued to the screen even as they eat. I genuinely worry about future generations. The reliance on technology, the addiction and the impact it has on growing brains is terrifying. I’ve seen prams with iPhones attached and babies/toddlers staring at screens rather than looking at the world around them or interacting. It’s all very sad. My dd also has SEN so I do know what it’s like with children who find certain situations difficult, but that was my issue to manage not everybody else’s.

Avoid the school holidays in future if you want a peaceful weekday meal. I get your point, they shouldn’t be running around shrieking and should definitely use headphones but you are also eating in a busy restaurant during half term in a tourist trap I guess (much of the Lakes is).

Yet there’s three separate families with kids in there right now….🧐

I am also at a meal in the Lakes during half term, I think we're about to celebrate my friend finishing writing her book. I just wish the kids would pipe down.

I would ask if I could move tables to a quieter area. If the staff ask why just say the noise from the iPad is loud and you'd like to move.
obviously if it's full then it's more tricky. I tho k you asking isn't right but you could complain to the staff and ask them if they could turn volume down in iPad.
I agree that's annoying and I have kids x

Sheer entitlement and fuck everyone else. Can’t stand it.

I couldn't agree more

But you'll get the ASD crowd bleating that their kid needs regulating etc.

Maybe go regulate your kid outside, not in front of a screen? Park?? Hiking?? Library??

Etc

Ooh you're a brave one to write that.

Don't you know the rules?
If a neurotypical child is using an iPad in a restaurant then it's an utter disgrace and the parents are scumbags who can't be bothered to parent. If a neurodivergent child uses one then it's absolutely fine, no matter the volume.

It's the overuse of exclamation marks.

You are very much the problem!

Volume turned down is not acceptable. Its volume off, headphones on or iPad off completely.

This is exactly why I am glad I am raising my children outside the UK.

The idea that thr voice of a child would incite so much rage would (in my opinion, rightfully) be seen as insane in the majority of other countries.

I wondered how long it would take before someone trotted out the ‘you’re not entitled to a child free world etc’ line.

I work in a restaurant and it's unbelievable what I see daily. Also everyone saying tell the staff - these parents don't listen to us either I just get a load of abuse and a complaint to head office usually 🤣

The iPad thing is genuinely tragic. I honestly don't care how you've justified it to yourself, if your children use them in restaurants it's an obvious problem for their development.

Mostly it's children 6-10 I see absolutely glued to screens not expected to interact or look up from start to finish. This is NOT a rarity, this is most tables, most days.

I seriously question why people bother paying for a meal out that their children are allowed to opt out of so entirely.

I agree but would add that they are actually really bad for children, especially those with SEN. Yes they may keep the child quiet, but that doesn't show the harm going on in the brain. It won't be long before we are all shocked that we allowed young children free reign on tablets and ipads etc. The impact on social development is also shocking, unless in incredibly small doses.

But it’s not the voice of a child. It’s the tinny whine from an ipad or mobile phone, with that irritating pitch that hits every last nerve.

I have no issue with children who haven't been taught how to behave in restaurants using iPads with headphones. In your scenario I would have spoken to staff and left if not dealt with and spoken to parents on the way out.

I was on a 6 hour flight a couple of weeks ago and a girl around 10 was on her iPad playing loud games without headphones. Parents oblivious. The stewardess went over and asked her to turn it off if she didn't have headphones which she did. Parents continued to ignore her. Poor child had nothing else with her. No books or games or anything else. Parents went to sleep and child just sat there. Shit parenting is prevalent and I really feel for some children.

Yep And yet these kind of parents will wang on about how it takes a village Because they only want the village for free childcare

its the running around and coughing over everyone else that pisses me off more than the iPad thing. Hot food and drinks are being served.

I love the sound of children's voices when they are happy and engaging with their parents/families/loved ones. It is lovely to hear children developing their social skills and bonding with others.

What I can't tolerate, and what this thread is actually about, is that infuriating tinny noise coming from iPad speakers (ESPECIALLY if it is something shrill like Peppa Pig). That is a horrible sound and even more depressing because it suggests the parents cannot be bothered to engage properly with their kids and teach them to behave in public.

This

Saying maybe they forget the head phones is a lame excuse. If you're taking an ipad/device its 99% certain you know you're going to be using it, otherwise why take it.

Tell a member of staff, people are so selfish

Tell the staff that you want a price reduction because of being disturbed. Leave a review

This is not the staff’s fault or responsibility. I’ve worked hospitality and had no qualms telling weans to sit down and shut up. However, I am not going to put that onus onto a member of waiting staff, who is quite likely on minimum wage and having a pretty shit day anyway. It’s not fair on them as they will just get a barrage of abuse from the parent in question. I’ve no problem telling someone to fuck off but they can’t or will likely lose their job. Tell them yourself.

I am in 2 minds here tbh.My DC are older now . So no skin in the game so to speak.its half term though ,so lots of DC around. Child shouldn't be coughing I agree. 😒. Went to NT Saturday. Utterly rammed! Couldn't even get a drink.i will be going again in term time I think.Mums have a hard time though. Trying to chat for half an hour and DC carrying on!