Would I be unreasonable to ask a child to be a bit quieter on their iPad in a restaurant?

[WouldYouLikeSomeRibena]

I know this is a touchy subject and it’s a public place but I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to be this angry?

I have taken my friend out for lunch to a restaurant in the lakes for her birthday.
It’s a nice place usually very busy, the food is good and lovely views and usually full of adults dining as it’s quite pricey and no kids menus or high chairs.

Today there was a table in front of us with two women and 6 kids having drinks looking at menus.
The kids keep getting up and running round, talking loudly and one boy was roaming between tables constantly coughing without covering his mouth. In the end a lady on the next table told him to cover his mouth as he was hovering near here and then told the other kids it wasn’t safe to run round.
One of the women was doing a weak “sshhh” that was getting ignored, the other seemed more embarrassed and in the end she suggested they leave and they did.

There are two other tables with kids on iPads but one has headphones and is sat a lot further away so I can’t really hear it and I don’t think there is an issue at all when using headphones.

At the other table a couple are sat near to me with a girl of about 7/8, they are looking at their phones and the girl is on FaceTime on her iPad to another girl with no headphones. It sounds like the other girl is playing a game on a console and both are getting excited and shouting at each other with the girl in the restaurant getting louder and shouting instructions and shrieking occasionally whilst bouncing up and down in her chair.

Other people keep looking over but the parents are oblivious.
Since I started writing this post their food has come and the couple are eating and talking to each other, the girl has propped the iPad against the salt and pepper and is continuing her FaceTime call talking with her mouth full.
The tables are pretty close together and I’m really pissed off about it and want to say something. My friend is also annoyed but worried about confrontation and suggested speaking to staff and asking them to talk to the couple about disturbing everyone.

I was just wondering what others would do? I’ll be really pissed off shelling out almost £100 for a meal that’s supposed to be a celebration and we can hardly hear to have a conversation and I’m disappointed because I wanted it to be nice for my friend.

On the other hand I don’t want to cause an argument and it’s possible people will stick up for the family as we are a pretty child centred society.
I thought I’d ask other opinions so I can assess the risk of that happening.
Would I be unreasonable to go over and ask the couple if they can ask the girl to be quieter or do you think I have no right as it’s a public place and you can’t police people like that?

I just don’t understand the mindset like the people on the other people with kids who let them disturb everyone and just don’t give a shit. I expect it to a degree in places like pizza express or Toby carvery but it feels selfish to bring them to a more adult environment if they are happy to just let them disturb everyone.

I feel awkward approaching the staff as they haven’t already said anything, it might be the best approach though as they are really the only people with any authority to comment.

Totally agree OP. We were out having a meal last night (7.30pm). On the next table was parents with a 18month old, 3 year and 5 year ish.
The Dad was sat in silence whilst Mum was on her phone. Meanwhile, the eldest was doing laps of the table, the middle child was ramming his buggy into a wall and the baby screeched.

We asked to move tables after one of the kids smashed a glass but I do wonder if the use of phones/ iPads etc has led to less interaction in social situations. Gone are the days of packing crayons, stickers and paper to entertain kids.

Child shrieking in a restaurant is fine if temporary and the parents address it or take the child outside. Noise from electronic devices is never, ever acceptable.

I absolutely loathe the fact that lots of people these days seem to think it’s acceptable - in restaurants, on trains etc etc. I have no issue whatsoever with children on iPads in restaurants IF it’s either on silent or they’re using headphones (but even with headphones I do have an issue if they’re being loud at their end as that’s still disturbing and headphones can have a tendency to make people shout). I would absolutely ask the parents to either put it on silent / away / use headphones as it’s disturbing you. I wouldn’t be surprised however if they’re arsey about it as more and more these days it seems when people are politely asked to stop doing something (which is selfish and disturbing to others), the person then goes on the offensive. I kid you not, I got accused of being racist because I asked someone who was playing videos on their phone v loudly to put it on silent or use headphones. Obviously I roundly rebutted that accusation. I’ll admit I did call him a selfish twat but that was only after having politely asked him to use headphones as it was disturbing and he’s in public and he point blank refused because he “wanted to watch videos”.

@Abd80 mine did, but then I was an engaged parent, rather than a lazy arse.

Just let it go and enjoy your time with your friend instead of spending it on your phone getting more wound up. People really lack tolerance these days.

So you are currently having lunch with your friend for her birthday and decided to post a lengthy post on Mumsnet? FFS what is the world coming to. Put your phone down and talk to your friend. If the noise is bothering you then ask the staff if you can move or if they can say something

I think I would leave this to the staff. It's the restaurant's responsibility to ensure an appropriate dining experience/environment, not mine as a customer. I would have a quiet word and advise that we're unable to enjoy our meal due to the level of noise/disruption and let them handle it. If they didn't I'd ask to be moved. If there was nowhere suitable to be moved to I would leave, regardless of whether I'd already ordered.

I know any of my friends and I would much rather be sat in a costa burger king enjoying a conversation for a few quid than be paying restaurant prices to sit and be exposed to someone else's children's terrible behaviour. It's expensive to eat out, it's not worth it if you don't genuinely enjoy the experience.

So there’s 3 different tables with kids on in a place that kids rarely go to?

IMO there is never any excuses for playing any noise out of any device without using headphones and talking quietly! I cannot stand this. I would ask to move tables because they are disturbing your lunch - maybe they would then say something to the family but at least you will hopefully be out of earshot!

‘Tolerance’! You expect people to just tolerate iPad noise in public? Seriously!!! You’d have to be a pretty terrible parent to let your kid think that iPad noise was ok. Jeez! The entitlement shown today is breathtaking!

I would say something. Parents like that never learn and inflict their children on others. They need telling

I know, it's almost unbelievable isn't it?

It's half term where we are so not that surprising.

I would ask to be moved. It shouldn't be customers policing other customers. The staff should provide a quieter space for those who want it and ask the noisy customers to be more quiet.

Yes ask the staff to move you and for them to speak to the family

Headphones. If you are in a public space, you do not use the speaker on your iPad or phone. I don't understand why a small number of people don't people don't get this.

Teach your children how to behave appropriately ffs.

YANBU OP but you will get a few people telling you that your attitude is unacceptable, the children were just being children and if you don't like the noise you should avoid public spaces and eat at home. Oh, and some of the children may have additional needs which is why they were wandering around or they require the iPad to self regulate so how dare you be so abelist, why don't you walk a mile in their poor parents shoes etc.

The excuses people make for shit parenting and unruly kids is mindboggling. Mine are 10 and 12 and I never tolerated them running around, playing loud devices, screaming or making a nuisance of themselves in any way when we were in restaurants. Apart from anything else it's dangerous to allow children to run amok when serving staff are carrying hot drinks, food etc and I really feel for staff when they have to weave their way around feral children whilst their oblivious parents sit chatting or glued to their phones.

Have a quiet word with the staff, we did this on holiday because the parents had no intention of controlling their unruly children. This is less confrontational. It is not acceptable behaviour though. Whenever I took my DC to restaurants it was made clear that good manners and behaviour were expected. Poor parenting is to blame here.

The type of anger in this post is what I was thinking about when I was writing it. Life must be tough for you when my comment causes such a dramatic response. Work on your tolerance and managing your emotions, it will make your life much better.

Talk to staff or parents, not the child

Speak to the staff not the parents. If the DPs are so socially unaware that they are letting their DCs do this, then they aren’t going to appreciate your comments.
And this is speaking as someone who did let their DS play games on the iPad once he had finished his meal if it was the evening. Crucially however on silent.

More importantly they have poor parents who think their responsibilities stop when they put their pants back on! The rest of the world is going to teach their sprogs manners and all the other things a decent parent would be doing. I would have been ashamed if my children were a nuisance to others when they were out of the house.

I would say something. I always do, be it to a feckless parent or an idiot adult not using headphones on a train. I find saying with a smile ‘excuse me, we can hear that’ is usually all that’s required. My husband says it’s because everyone is scared of me 😂

Well first of all it's half term and bloody awful weather. I feel sorry for parents. But mum and dad get off your bloody phone. Engage with your kids and each other.

February and October half-term can be an endurance test. We used to go abroad in February with the youngest just to relax. Older two were at university.

My advice avoid family friendly this week unless you've your own rug rats to entertain.

We're at the point that there needs to be signage (like old style no smoking pre-2007) to spell out that making everyone else in the vincinity listen to the tinny drivel on phones/ tablets is unacceptable. And it would reinforce the point to supporr staff to challenge it.