Would I be unreasonable to ask a child to be a bit quieter on their iPad in a restaurant?

[WouldYouLikeSomeRibena]

I know this is a touchy subject and it’s a public place but I’m just wondering if it’s reasonable to be this angry?

I have taken my friend out for lunch to a restaurant in the lakes for her birthday.
It’s a nice place usually very busy, the food is good and lovely views and usually full of adults dining as it’s quite pricey and no kids menus or high chairs.

Today there was a table in front of us with two women and 6 kids having drinks looking at menus.
The kids keep getting up and running round, talking loudly and one boy was roaming between tables constantly coughing without covering his mouth. In the end a lady on the next table told him to cover his mouth as he was hovering near here and then told the other kids it wasn’t safe to run round.
One of the women was doing a weak “sshhh” that was getting ignored, the other seemed more embarrassed and in the end she suggested they leave and they did.

There are two other tables with kids on iPads but one has headphones and is sat a lot further away so I can’t really hear it and I don’t think there is an issue at all when using headphones.

At the other table a couple are sat near to me with a girl of about 7/8, they are looking at their phones and the girl is on FaceTime on her iPad to another girl with no headphones. It sounds like the other girl is playing a game on a console and both are getting excited and shouting at each other with the girl in the restaurant getting louder and shouting instructions and shrieking occasionally whilst bouncing up and down in her chair.

Other people keep looking over but the parents are oblivious.
Since I started writing this post their food has come and the couple are eating and talking to each other, the girl has propped the iPad against the salt and pepper and is continuing her FaceTime call talking with her mouth full.
The tables are pretty close together and I’m really pissed off about it and want to say something. My friend is also annoyed but worried about confrontation and suggested speaking to staff and asking them to talk to the couple about disturbing everyone.

I was just wondering what others would do? I’ll be really pissed off shelling out almost £100 for a meal that’s supposed to be a celebration and we can hardly hear to have a conversation and I’m disappointed because I wanted it to be nice for my friend.

On the other hand I don’t want to cause an argument and it’s possible people will stick up for the family as we are a pretty child centred society.
I thought I’d ask other opinions so I can assess the risk of that happening.
Would I be unreasonable to go over and ask the couple if they can ask the girl to be quieter or do you think I have no right as it’s a public place and you can’t police people like that?

I just don’t understand the mindset like the people on the other people with kids who let them disturb everyone and just don’t give a shit. I expect it to a degree in places like pizza express or Toby carvery but it feels selfish to bring them to a more adult environment if they are happy to just let them disturb everyone.

I feel awkward approaching the staff as they haven’t already said anything, it might be the best approach though as they are really the only people with any authority to comment.

FaceTime calls with no headphones is my pet hate.

I was sitting in a quiet cafe reading a book and enjoying breakfast. There was one other customer in there and she decided tbe cafe was a good place to have a no headphones 45 minute (!!!!!) FaceTime call with her son. I complained to her and she told me that it was ok because it was a special occasion because her son had just arrived in Australia!!!!

Another vote to ask the staff to tell the kids to stop being annoying

OP try talking to the staff first. I expect you will only get a rude response from the child’s parents.

I would - and I have. I asked the parents if the child could turn down the noise and they were absolutely fine and did so.

How will they learn how to behave in public if you don’t teach them to be more considerate when they are children?

Pretty much all of this! how long did the OP ignore her friend for while writing all that out 😂

OP put your own device away and then talk to the waiter/ waitress. Hopefully they can move you.

🙄 are you one of those parents that just allows your kids to do whatever they like in public because "they are children"?

"tolerance"? Why should children be allowed to make as much noise and we're expected to put up with it? I want to be able to hear the person I'm having dinner with talk and not Peppa pig

How have you read anger in that post? Seems reasonable to me.

I agree with the poster. Your sanctimonious response suggests you are the type
of entitled person who thinks everyone else should “tolerate” their selfish behaviour.
There is no excuse for children screaming and shouting and not using headphones for their devices. I have three children with special needs and I certainly don’t let them or their iPads disturb others anywhere. It’s simple manners and common courtesy.

Mental you typed out such a long post while in a restaurant, your poor mate

If i was out with you for lunch id be way more pissed that you are on your phone ignoring me!!

Yep

You are not being unreasonable to want to say something. If you did, the likely outcome is that the parents will NOT say “oh, really sorry. Hey Emily can you shush you're disturbing people nearby, be a love and pop your head phones on and don’t shout”. Instead, they will be outraged that their DC is being told to do something by a total stranger and their parenting is being called into question. That is society (certainly British society) today. You can also be absolutely certain that if you complain to the restaurant that they will not do anything in terms of approaching the parents either. They don’t like confrontation and will adopt the all customers welcome approach. If it was me, op? I’d ask to move, for the scenarios stated above.

Just another example of shitty, oblivious parenting. I wouldn’t bring a tablet to a meal for our kids as I don’t like screens during meals out, but if I did, it would be on silent or they would wear headphones. And they wouldn’t be allowed to roam around and bother other people.

When we take our 2yo DGS out to eat, or out anywhere in general, he behaves better than all the children the OP has described. If he gets fractious he gets taken outside then brought back in when his food is ready.

Children should not be disturbing other diners like this. If they want to watch a screen, give them headphones. If they can’t sit down in a restaurant, then imo they shouldn’t be there because it’s bloody dangerous for them to be running around.

YANBU generally but YABU to say it's ok or to be expected in pizza express or a carvery. Same standards should apply.

It’s just such scuzzy low life, trashy behaviour. These sorts of people are the worst of the worst. I cannot believe they can go through life thinking or caring so little about anyone else around them. What sort of what sort of adults will these kids grow up to be? The mind boggles.

Speak to the staff.

I get that children are entitled to go out to eat with their parents but the parents (and their children) are not entitled to ruin your lovely lunch with your friend.

There seem to be a few people commenting on this thread about people needing to have tolerance for other people’s children. Whilst tolerance is great, if you ruin my time with your poor parenting and poorly behaved child, my tolerance will run out sharpish. Parent your children properly!

But in a restaurant where a meal is £50 a head (or possibly £100, I'm not clear if the £100 quoted was for both meals or just one!), diners are entitled to expect a reasonable degree of quiet, so that they can converse without raised voices and enjoy their meal in a relaxing atmosphere. If OP had wanted to sit next to shouting children, she'd have gone to a child-friendly restaurant, or taken a packed lunch to soft play.

I've never seen this sort of bad behaviour from children in restaurants in France, Italy, Greece, Germany or Belgium. I don't get why it's such a common phenomenon in the UK.

My DSS always behaved well in pubs and restaurants once he was out of the toddler years, and his daughter, now 10, has been perfectly happy to sit, eat and chat with adults without finding it necessary to shout or listen to noisy games since she was approx 3 years old.

On a couple of occasions, I've found the racket from badly behaved children so intrusive that I've asked to cancel my food order in a pub. Both times, the parents were spoken to by the staff and told that if their kids continued to disturb people, they would have to leave.

I think we need to be tolerant of kids being kids. They occasionally scream or shout etc. but if it’s persistent or they won’t stop running around then an adult needs to take them outside. That’s what we do with our kids. Then we swap over and the other adult takes their turn with the child outside while the other eats. We miss out on eating together but that’s the chance you take when dining out with small children.

Still no excuse for iPads on full blast

OP, you are not unreasonable at all.
people listening to devices in general at a loud volume really pisses me off. It’s not the kids fault but the stupid parents who allow it and are completely oblivious to other people. Rude in most settings but unacceptable in a restaurant. I think it’s really shitty parenting tbh

YANBU - it is selfish inflicting noise on other people and it is the parents who are the problem for not making them turn the sound off.

I was in a hospital waiting room the other day, with 2 different people on gadgets with noise and it was horrendous.

Gadgets should be banned from restaurants unless used silently

Never. If my child is really acting up and I have no headphones she gets papa pig on my phone with the sound off - which is not really an issue as I think she knows all episodes by heart anyway. Terrible parent, but not as bad as one who leaves the sound on!