DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

[TemporaryWombat]

This didn’t happen recently but it still bugs me! Went out for a meal for MIL birthday, I was 8 months pregnant and at the end of the meal FIL paid the bill - I stood up and told DH I was going to the toilet, went (I wasn’t long) came back and everyone had buggered off! I was stood there embarrassed asking the waiters where everyone was. I went to the car park and wandered around in the dark trying to find DH car.

AIBU or is it really inconsiderate to just leave? DH sees no fault and said the meal was over and it was obvious we were all leaving. It felt very crappy and definitely not something I would do or my family.

Exactly this!!!!

How would the staff know where everyone was?

This. Why on earth were you asking waiters where your family had gone? Where else could they possibly have been? Hiding under the table? Kidnapped by the kitchen staff?

If FIL was paying the bill, they were obviously on their way out. I would go outside and look, this would be a complete nothingburger.

There is none of course. But some precious Princess faux vulnerable attention seeking vibes are required to beef up this nonsense!

The only way I can make the OP make sense would be if her DH had originally dropped her at the door, and then gone to park. I can’t see any other way she wouldn’t know where the car was parked.

Laughing emoji needed!

im realising just how badly ive been treated by everyone around me and allowed them to get away with it. to the extent I was caused harm by the accumulation of the stresses.

They'd paid. I would have said goodbye to PILs before going to the loo, and your husband was fine to wait for you outside. The restaurant presumably needs the table back. I think it's not a big deal.

I wouldn't have done it, but I know others who would.
Not sure what being pregnant has to do with it.

My exact thoughts.

Sounds rude to me also.

What was the big rush?

Ils could have said goodbye & left.

No need for husband to walk them to the car I wouldn't have thought.

I'd be thinking that something must have happened to someone!

The waiting staff will want to clear the table and get it set up for the next lot of diners.

It would be very rude to make them hang about waiting for someone to have a wee!

If you went to the loo as everyone was leaving, wasn't it you who was rude if you went without saying goodbye?

Haha. Yeah, quite. They're hardly going to say 'oh a couple of them just went off in a helicopter to Monaco and the rest told us they were going to a crack den'.

What?! I wouldn’t do that to a friend let alone my very pregnant wife! If someone goes to the loo you all sit and wait! I can’t believe the responses in here! Very rude.

Agree with this. I've always been sensitive to this sort of thing though because when I was young, my friends would often walk off without me and I always felt that if I didn't run to catch up they'd just continue because I was so unimportant to them.

Terrible manners and completely inconsiderate.

Like fathers who walk ahead while wife wrangling behind with the young children. Or people who walk at pace while an older or unwell person is struggling to keep up. By the responses on here you'd expect that those scenarios are fine - but it's the same attitude. If you come together, you stick together and do things at the pace of the most vulnerable/weakest.

I don't think it's rude the others left (particularly if they had somewhere to be) but ideally they'd have said goodbye first. Your DH should have waited for you unless you had explicitly agreed to meet at the car.

No wonder so many rude people around these days (particularly men) if goinf by the responses on here, their mothers and partners excuse this inconsiderate behaviour .

It’s not great but it’s also not something that should still be upsetting you months (?) down the line. Ask DH to wait next time, that’s all that’s needed.

They were all thoughtless, rude and lacked manners.

I’m maybe not getting the issue, so they left, went to car. How could you not find the car, did you come in a different vehicle so you didn’t know where it was parked? How big was the car park? Did neither of you have phones.

It's weird when you finally realise isn't it? You start treating yourself like a princess from now on x

I think it’s rude as well. Your in laws didn’t wait to say goodbye to you and your husband didn’t tell you he’d wait for you in the car. That’s just rude.

We wouldn't dream of doing this. We would have left together or arranged to meet. It sounds really inconsiderate and rude to me. Plus if anyone in the family is pregnant, they are the centre of every activity and would have been the absolute priority.

It’s really not a big deal, is it? Is the pregnancy bit relevant? Did you have mobility issues and needed help to walk? I’m intrigued as to why you’re still thinking about it.

Well, you were clearly some time in the loo 🤷🏻‍♀️
Of course it’s normal to wait outside, you’re a grown woman.