DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

[TemporaryWombat]

This didn’t happen recently but it still bugs me! Went out for a meal for MIL birthday, I was 8 months pregnant and at the end of the meal FIL paid the bill - I stood up and told DH I was going to the toilet, went (I wasn’t long) came back and everyone had buggered off! I was stood there embarrassed asking the waiters where everyone was. I went to the car park and wandered around in the dark trying to find DH car.

AIBU or is it really inconsiderate to just leave? DH sees no fault and said the meal was over and it was obvious we were all leaving. It felt very crappy and definitely not something I would do or my family.

I think your are being very judgemental and cruel to be honest.

This woman was 8 months pregnant.Probably felt a bit vulnerable and wanted to feel safe walking across a car park in the dark. This wouldn't be a big ask for my family.

In fact, one of my family would have insisted that they wait for me. I would have not needed to ask

To spell it out.Presumably there could have been other cars, taxis etc coming and going in the dark car park. Maybe some of the drivers had drank a bit.

As for this woman's husband. Who is presumably was the father of her child. He ouldn't care less along with rest of the dining party.

Poor Show!

So they didn't abandoned you in the restaurant - they just went to cars and your husband was in the car park when you reached. Your title reads like they forgot completely you were there with them and drove off.

I think they should have waited for you at least at the front door if not at the table. Did nobody say goodbye to you then after the meal?
Not sure why DH walked out and waited in the car instead! It comes across as rude enough that I'd wonder what I'd done to have peed him off!

they should have waited for you in the restaurant or just outside, or at least your husband should have, to check you're ok and accompany you to the car.

How old are you?

I’d not leave my DH or mum like that, but I would leave my sister, brother or in laws, because they would have come with others and they should be looking out for them.

Same with DH, he would wait for me and has done.

Dear God, I do wonder how some people can ever hope to have the resilience to weather actual problems in life, when non-events like this can take up so much of their mental energy.

Yanbu. I agree with the poll majority. The considerate thing would be dh to have waited for you to walk back together.

If you see your in-laws often and are casual with them, I don't see the problem with them buggering off. Your DH, on the other hand, should have waited for you. If he is not typically thoughtless, I would suggest letting it go though -- don't become resentful.

Why is the OP a child?

how do some people get up themsleves in the morning without a chaperone?

The others could have gone but if your guy had any manners he would have waited for you. British men have very low standards of etiquette tho

Please tell me this is a joke? are we living in the 1800's still?

Noup i come from a country where men have manners- let women go first, carry heavy items for them, stand up when women enter the room help them get seated at a dinner table. Maybe UK in such a bad state because women act, sometimes look and dress like men.

@Mapleleaf114 can you tell us a bit more about how men and women are treated in your country of birth? For example, in terms of domestic chores and career opportunities?

It might depend on your family. My family would wait in the restaurant (though probably not at the table as we are done and bill is paid) and then all leave together. DPs family will leave the restaurant and wait out the front/where the car is located.

I can never understand why people have to leave mean comments. MN is supposed to be a forum of support, not a forum to make people feel even worse. There are ways of sharing a perspective without judgement and criticism.

Precious princess

Was he waiting in fhe car? No biggie or reason to harbour a grudge

And judging by the comments on this thread, a lot of women are ok with it, unfortunately.

My husband would have opened the car up for parents,then waited for me at the door. He and family wouldnt have waited at the table though. If the meal is over ,its a given that you leave. I think you ought to just let it go. What's done cant be undone.

Were they waiting in the car park or had they fucked off home leaving you there?
If they just went outside and waited in the car park then there's no issue here. Happens all the time.
How long were you on the toilet if they didn't even have their coats on when you went in?

Total overreaction to nothing but there seem to be a lot of threads about things like this at the moment and there was even one earlier in the week where someone else went to the toilet and their friend went out for the day while she was in there.

I think your husband should have waited at least by the door for you, and not leave you to cross a dark carpark alone, especially as pregnant.
very rude behaviour… 😳

Cruel? Jesus christ 😂 Also, isn't the actual point of the AIBU section to judge the given situation?

An absolute non event.

It’s not about OPs resilience or her ability to dal with life’s problems, it’s about a husband not demonstrating care and love for his very pregnant wife. Very poor show on his part. Not sure she should let this go as what happens next? Does he drop her off outside maternity and go to the pub with his mates or family. Slippery slope territory.