DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

[TemporaryWombat]

This didn’t happen recently but it still bugs me! Went out for a meal for MIL birthday, I was 8 months pregnant and at the end of the meal FIL paid the bill - I stood up and told DH I was going to the toilet, went (I wasn’t long) came back and everyone had buggered off! I was stood there embarrassed asking the waiters where everyone was. I went to the car park and wandered around in the dark trying to find DH car.

AIBU or is it really inconsiderate to just leave? DH sees no fault and said the meal was over and it was obvious we were all leaving. It felt very crappy and definitely not something I would do or my family.

That’s a rubbish thing for them to do. I’m not surprised you were upset. I’d have let rip!

Surely you’d walk back to table, see it empty, walk to car park. Non event really.

Rude! After you said you were popping to the loo, as a matter of common courtesy, I would totally expect someone to say, see you at the car then. I would be annoyed too, especially if it was dark and I was heavily pregnant. Thankfully my husband is a bit more considerate.

I think it's off; especially that you were 8 months pregnant. Your husband should have at least waited at the table for you.

I went to a restaurant with family this weekend but everyone waited for the loo users outside. Polite thing to do imo.

I'm surprised at the responses, I think it's rude. You're sat finishing your drinks , nearly ready to go and someone goes to the loo. You either wait in place or at the very most go to the door and keep an eye out for them before you go. OP went for a wee and they left without saying goodbye.

If you'd gone for lunch with your friend and went to the loo while they were still sat down and you came out the loo and they'd just left and gone home you'd think that perfectly normal? Bonkers.

And no way would dp just leave me either and go sit in the car. If we had two bored rowdy kids, he might SAY as I was going to the loo "I'll get the kids in the car ready while you go, see you outside. "

Outside the restaurant or outside the loo?

Would you? When everyone was still sat at the table, no-one putting coats on or making any other immediate moves to leave? How odd to say goodbye in those circumstances.

If the bill had been settled I'd assume people were going to leave,yes.

Had you already said your goodbyes? If not, then yeah that was rude, I think it's normal to leave the table because usually the waiting staff want you to move so they can start clearing the table but I would have expected them to wait at the front entrance. If you had not said your goodbyes then your in-laws essentially walked off without saying goodbye even if it was unintentional.

If I was going to the loo and the people I was having dinner with were planning to shoot off, I’d expect them to say “we will say bye now as we are leaving” I would expect my DH to wait for me at the exit and walk to the car together.

I would’ve expected my husband to wait for me. I would wait for him too in fairness.

I’m 99.9% certain that in this situation my husband would wait for me in the entrance or just outside the building, he wouldn’t wait in the car. Thats pretty standard to me.

One day you're going to have a real problem then you can look back on this and laugh.

I don't think this would be an issue ordinarily but maybe you felt extra vulnerable being heavily pregnant, and that's why it's stayed with you.

And you STILL carry this with you?? Time to let go.

No I’m not. I’m suggesting a bit of thoughtfulness wouldn’t have gone a miss.

Your DH should've waited for you near the door of the restaurant or,standing,in full.view next to the car.

I would always wait for my partner and they would wait for me. But it seems we are in a very small minority. I would find it rude if everyone had left when I came back from the toilet, thankfully I married someone who thinks the same.

To all the people saying she overreacted, swap the OP for your mother would you do the same to her?
if it is a yes then we have our answer.

I think this is really unreasonable. DH should have said I will meet you in the car when he saw you get up to go to the loo. Has anything else like this happened again?

Agree, but if it is still upsetting you after a long time OP, you could ask for some support.

I agree, it’s very rude and uncaring.

Wow. Of course DH should have waited and walked you to the car. Being 8 months pregnant just made his neglect worse.

It’s not about being “over-emotional”. Plenty of people would find that rude. I’d never leave someone without saying anything, especially if they’d gone to the loo and were heavily pregnant. Other people not minding doesn’t make your reaction wrong.