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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend leaving me whilst on holiday

283 replies

roastdinner346 · 16/02/2026 01:47

So me and my friend went away for a weekend break (Friday to Monday), for an early celebration for my 40th birthday next week.
Its the first time I've ever been anywhere with anyone else apart from my family.
A few things really got to me.
Firstly was she rolled her eyes and gave me looks when I said I was hungry. She's on weightloss jabs, and has no appetite at all, and can only manage a few mouthfuls, which is completely fine, but that doesn't mean I don't get hungry 🙈
The next thing was that I wanted to take a pebble off the beach for my niece, who collects them from various places.
She didn't agree with this, and we were paying for something in a shop and she went on about me taking the tiny pebble, saying that it should be left there, and said it so loudly all the other people in the shop could hear. It just made me feel really small.
Then last evening in the entertainment lounge, she started talking to a family next to us. Which again, isn't a problem, but I'm left on the end, left out of the conversation, and because I'm slightly deaf, I had no idea what they were saying to even join in.
She asked me to get drinks, which I did, and then I turns out she had told them that I'm introverted and that I hate people. So god knows what these people must have thought about me.
I will happily speak to people, if I'm included.
Then today we were supposed to be going for a walk to the other side of the sea front.
I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.
For the whole weekend it felt like it was just an excuse for her to take endless selfies, not once did she ask to get one of both of us. I just wondered why I was even there.
Am I overreacting for being upset about all of this?

OP posts:
Cardinalita90 · 16/02/2026 02:01

Not overreacting, she sounds like a cow. There's no shame for you in any of the examples you gave.

Why did she even come if she dislikes you so much?! Were you paying?

Bearbookagainandagain · 16/02/2026 02:07

I can understand that for some, going on holiday with a friend can be very irritating. Often it's just little things that add up, and you don't expect with a friend so takes everyone by surprise.

It doesn't justify her behaviour though at all though! You did the right thing leaving.
Did she say anything afterwards?

JemimaTiggywinkles · 16/02/2026 02:20

This sounds like different expectations tbh.

I’m not on weight loss jabs but don’t want my holidays to revolve around food. I’ve a couple of friends who get hungry every 5 minutes and it is annoying when I’m someone who only eats at meal times.

Taking pebbles off beaches is wrong. I thought everyone knew this? She shouldn’t have said anything in front of other people tho.

I don’t like chatting to strangers and do sometimes feel like I’m being left out if the other person is sociable with randoms. But I think that’s my issue tbh. How do you know she said you’re introverted / hate people? I can’t imagine how that would come up, but I’d be incredibly hurt if a friend said that about me.

The toilet thing entirely depends. If this was the first time you faff when you’re supposed to be doing something then she’s completely unreasonable. But if you’re a faffer and she’d just got fed up of waiting around for you then it’s fair enough for her to go alone.

Did you say anything to her before getting picked up? Cos if not I think you’ve just ended the friendship. Which is a bit sad if you were close enough to go away together.

Bananainpyjamas1980 · 16/02/2026 02:22

I had a friend like that, took me 25 years to realise she was just manipulating me and using coercive behaviour.
Life is peaceful without her so distance yourself and thank God you have seen this in time to shut it down. That is no friend!

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/02/2026 02:24

Going on holiday with someone can really highlight the differences between you. I'm sorry you've had such a rubbish weekend.

Could you not have gone on the sea front walk on your own, however? Maybe meeting up halfway and finishing the walk together? Is your friend aware of your hearing loss or do you usually manage to mask it?

Nimblethimble · 16/02/2026 02:32

Food - YANBU

Removing pebble - YABU

Socialising - YANBU

Soashamed60 · 16/02/2026 02:36

JemimaTiggywinkles · 16/02/2026 02:20

This sounds like different expectations tbh.

I’m not on weight loss jabs but don’t want my holidays to revolve around food. I’ve a couple of friends who get hungry every 5 minutes and it is annoying when I’m someone who only eats at meal times.

Taking pebbles off beaches is wrong. I thought everyone knew this? She shouldn’t have said anything in front of other people tho.

I don’t like chatting to strangers and do sometimes feel like I’m being left out if the other person is sociable with randoms. But I think that’s my issue tbh. How do you know she said you’re introverted / hate people? I can’t imagine how that would come up, but I’d be incredibly hurt if a friend said that about me.

The toilet thing entirely depends. If this was the first time you faff when you’re supposed to be doing something then she’s completely unreasonable. But if you’re a faffer and she’d just got fed up of waiting around for you then it’s fair enough for her to go alone.

Did you say anything to her before getting picked up? Cos if not I think you’ve just ended the friendship. Which is a bit sad if you were close enough to go away together.

Are you the friend op left behind? Jesus, not one ounce of sympathy for her & you seem to be putting the blame on op. She is allowed to go to the loo just before heading out, you can't help when you want to go! And because the friend is on weightloss jabs she's perhaps not hungry too much at all during the day. Op is not on wli & is entitled to eat normally. "Friend" sounds selfish.

Catladywithacat · 16/02/2026 03:07

She’s awful

AgnesMcDoo · 16/02/2026 03:09

Sh sounds dreadful. I don’t blame you for going home. Not one bit.

Georgiepud · 16/02/2026 03:24

She's only making you out to be irritating to make herself look good, though what that proves and who is impressed, I've no idea.
Good you got away early. Now keep away.

Georgiepud · 16/02/2026 03:39

Out of interest, what is her attitude towards you like when you're not away together?

fyllnadspenna · 16/02/2026 03:40

She sounds awful. I would never go on holiday with her again—possibly as part of a large group, but it would depend on the other people involved. I'll be honest and say I'm not certain I'd even want her as a friend after this. She doesn't sound like a real friend.

I'd have gone on the walk without her after she left, to show her that you don't need her to have fun and to salvage something of the day, but I can see why you just wanted to get away and end the experience.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 16/02/2026 03:57

She sounds a pain. I deffo wouldn't go away with her again

The pebble thing? Technically wrong..
But one small pebble?? I'd prob pick that up inadvertently with all my stuff leaving the beach!

The whole issue with not taking pebbles from beach is stopping beach/coast de stabilisation.... One pebble makes no difference.

They (rightly) prosecute people rocking up with large lorries..

Friendlygingercat · 16/02/2026 03:58

I had a couple of bad experiences going on holiday with "friends" and the resulting compromises. Arguments abour food, where to go, how much to spend and so on. That was why I began to travel alone. You dont have to compromise. You can plan your day or just drift, as you please. Ive been to come fascinating countries on solo trips - Nepal, Iran, Syria and so on. It does take careful planning and a strong degree of self confidence. You also have to be very secure in your own company. Not for everyone but it was my solution.

Nearly50omg · 16/02/2026 04:26

She’s not a friend!! She’s a nasty bitch!!

SueblueNZ · 16/02/2026 04:46

Wrong to take one pebble - OFFS!

PithyViewer · 16/02/2026 04:52

@JemimaTiggywinkles Taking pebbles off beaches is wrong. I thought everyone knew this?

Eh? It is? Why? There are millions and millions of them! Where I come from though, the beaches are nothing but pebbles, many feet deep. Literally millions of pebbles on the beaches. In fact, the beaches ARE pebbles. No sand until the tide goes out some way. I cannot imagine that one pebble would be missed! We used to pick up a pebble very occasionally from the beach. It was just what you did as a child.

I've never lived anywhere with sandy beaches though. Assume it's those from which you're not supposed to take pebbles?

PithyViewer · 16/02/2026 04:55

OP, your friend sounds as if she really dislikes you. I'm sorry you had this experience. Even if she found that your very human need to eat was irritating to her, she should not have showed it. As for what she said to those people about you!!! This is not your friend, and I'm glad you got picked up to go home instead of putting up with this.

LAMPS1 · 16/02/2026 05:08

I think she sounds like a very strong character with loads of confidence but not quite enough to go away on her own. In that way you could say she used you as a bit of a prop.

Maybe you are a more introverted, and more gentle (and more genuine) character type OP, good for you …we are what we are. Telling random others that you hate people is totally unacceptable and bitchy. It’s not something a friend would do, so no wonder you were upset about that. She showed her true colours there.

It’s good you made arrangements to get yourself home and away from the whole upsetting weekend experience. You are not well matched, in fact she sounds quite self-centred, inconsiderate and uncaring as a friend.
I wouldn’t be bothering with her again.

Newnamehiwhodis · 16/02/2026 05:14

YANBU. What a waste of a good holiday :( I hope you can go again soon without her.
she isn’t a good friend.

sammylady37 · 16/02/2026 05:21

If you had wanted to go on the walk, why didn’t you just go on your own when you realised she’d left without you? Saying you were ‘left to do nothing, for hours, on (your) own’ is a bit martyred, tbh.

However some of the other stuff is horrible.

WinterFaye2 · 16/02/2026 05:21

She isn’t a friend OP, I’m sorry. She treated you badly and you didn’t deserve that.

I’m also perplexed by the comments on the pebble. I see no issue in taking a standard pebble from the beach, a lovely thing to do for your niece.

JustMyView13 · 16/02/2026 05:22

Tbh it sounds like you’re ordinarily good friends but have learned that you holiday differently, and couldn’t live together. And that’s ok, you can move past this if you both want to.

Also, she’s right about taking a pebble from the beach. There’s serious consequences if you’re caught in some locations. If everyone who visited the beach took a pebble the beach would look like shit. Take a photo instead.

crumbssonmyface · 16/02/2026 05:28

Sorry, she sounds awful and like she doesn’t like or care about you at all. That would be the end of the friendship for me…

SouthernNights59 · 16/02/2026 05:30

crumbssonmyface · 16/02/2026 05:28

Sorry, she sounds awful and like she doesn’t like or care about you at all. That would be the end of the friendship for me…

My thoughts exactly. What a bitch.

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