Friend leaving me whilst on holiday

[roastdinner346]

So me and my friend went away for a weekend break (Friday to Monday), for an early celebration for my 40th birthday next week.
Its the first time I've ever been anywhere with anyone else apart from my family.
A few things really got to me.
Firstly was she rolled her eyes and gave me looks when I said I was hungry. She's on weightloss jabs, and has no appetite at all, and can only manage a few mouthfuls, which is completely fine, but that doesn't mean I don't get hungry 🙈
The next thing was that I wanted to take a pebble off the beach for my niece, who collects them from various places.
She didn't agree with this, and we were paying for something in a shop and she went on about me taking the tiny pebble, saying that it should be left there, and said it so loudly all the other people in the shop could hear. It just made me feel really small.
Then last evening in the entertainment lounge, she started talking to a family next to us. Which again, isn't a problem, but I'm left on the end, left out of the conversation, and because I'm slightly deaf, I had no idea what they were saying to even join in.
She asked me to get drinks, which I did, and then I turns out she had told them that I'm introverted and that I hate people. So god knows what these people must have thought about me.
I will happily speak to people, if I'm included.
Then today we were supposed to be going for a walk to the other side of the sea front.
I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.
For the whole weekend it felt like it was just an excuse for her to take endless selfies, not once did she ask to get one of both of us. I just wondered why I was even there.
Am I overreacting for being upset about all of this?

I would find it pretty difficult not to point out that she didn’t end up on weight loss jabs through a lack of eating.

It sounds like she had had enough of you within a very short space of time.

These things happen.
However she should have been more adult about it and bitten her tongue, it was only a weekend after all.

I have some lovely friends but because of my low tolerance levels, I wouldn't subject any of them to a weekend away with me.

Perplexed as to why you had nothing to do for hours when your friend went walking. Couldnt you have gone walking too?

I think this is a bit on both sides and you’d clearly rubbed each other up the wrong way, it happens when you’re away sometimes.

Pebble - technically she’s right.

Socialising, couldn’t you have asked to swap seats or similar if you know you struggle to hear from a certain side/position? What she said was off but nobody else knows if you can’t hear unless you make it known.

Being hungry, if you’re wanting to eat at standard meal times she’s being annoying, if you’re wanting to sit for hours in a restaurant when she doesn’t want a big meal you are, I’m guessing it’s probably a bit of both.

Leaving you for the walk is odd - how long was she waiting for you? It suggests she was waiting some time after you’d agreed to leave that she up and left?

Why couldn’t you have done something else anyway? You didn’t have to just sit and wait?

Going away with people can be tricky, I’ve got friends I won’t travel with again, doesn’t mean we’re not friends but our holiday styles don’t match!

😮 You put Mr. Happy back in his rightful place, you daughter of a coastline-eroding criminal! How do you sleep at night, knowing that disappearing beaches are down to you and your ilk? I highly suggest you turn yourself in at the first opportunity! As for Mr. Happy, living the high life in the warmth, being petted and fawned over, instead of getting himself back to the office to do his job, there are no words.

🤣🤣🤣

A few people on here have said that their former friends were really horrible to them on their holiday. Why on earth would you do that?? Why would you go on holiday with someone and then just be horrible to them? I really do not understand people.

She's no friend.

These were my thoughts too.

Why on earth did you not go for a walk on your own? Have a bit of independence fgs instead of being a martyr

The rest of it YANBU

Why would you go on holiday with someone and then just be horrible to them? I really do not understand people.

I doubt anyone goes on holiday with the intention of being deliberately horrible, but different expectations and minor irritations can become a big deal when two people are stuck together 24/7 with no other company around to dilute things.

It would be interesting to hear the friends side of this story.

I think it’s often not until you’re away that you realise people can have very different expectations of holidays and what to prioritise, it’s usually actually a bit 50/50 but people don’t see it from both sides.

OP ignore most of this message. It’s just trying to find fault with you for the sake of it.

No imagine it this way, if everyone just took only one pebble?
you should never take shells, the sea life end up using our rubbish like bottle caps as their homes because people take shells. There are videos on youtube about it.

Food - YANBU unless you are wanting to stop frequently. I know some people like to go out have coffee, then lunch then stop again for another drink in the afternoon. This is annoying for people who don't like doing this.

Pebble - YABU. I live in a coastal location though so again know that you shouldn't take pebbles but clearly maybe this is something you don't learn if you don't live by the sea. I don't know why she was bringing it up in the shop though, unless they had decorative pebbles or something for sale and mentioned then how you should have bought one rather than removing from the beach.

Talking to others about you being introverted - YANBU but how do you know that's what was said when you mentioned not being able to hear? Maybe you are introverted as could you not have moved a chair or mentioned to the people that you are hard of hearing so unfortunately couldn't hear what they were saying hence not joining in. I am sure someone would have then swapped seats or rearranged chairs to enable you to join in.

Leaving when you went to the toilet - YANBU unless you mean you were going in to shower. If it was a quick I need the loo before going out then she is strange for leaving but I can't imagine would have gone that far so you could have caught her up. If however you went in and had a whole skincare routine to do before leaving then YABU.

To be honest though it sounds like an awkward holiday. How well do you know her? Have you gone on day trips before?
Were you relying on her to drive hence going together?

if everyone who went on holiday took a pebble from the beach, before long there'd be no pebbles, and no beach.

Jesus, nice friend!

I wouldn't worry what the other peoole thought about you, they were likely busy thinking what an utter twunt this woman is!

She sounds horrid (the so called friend)

Were you sat there with a face like thunder?

Why are some people so desperate to pick at the OP that they invent stuff like this? It’s such a weird thing to do.

You sound needy and tiring. She doesn’t sound like someone with much patience. Not a good holiday match. Left by yourself for hours, honestly you’re not seven! Self pity is a deeply unattractive indulgence.

It doesn't sound like just different wants/expectations though. It sounds like one person being really horrible to the other.

Hard disagree. Wanting to eat three times a day is normal. You are deliberately exaggerating by saying its "every 5 mins". Just because you have zero interest in food doesn't mean other people arent allowed to enjoy it, that's such a selfish attitude. Having meals out is part of the fun of going on holiday- its not just about eating, its the social aspect of it too. Not everyone wants their holiday to revolve around someone else's tedious weight loss either.

OP- your friend sounds very selfish, unfortunately it can be a shock when you spend prolonged time with friends. It looks like this has happened to you. If you value the friendship, I'd be having a chat with her and seeing if I could talk it out but either way I would never go away with her ever again.

@roastdinner346 your friend sounds ghastly but if she went off on a walk on her own then that didn't mean you had to sit on your own for 4 hours. Thats just weird. You could have also gone for a walk too. You made that choice.

I wouldn't be talking to this friend again though after the trip.

She sounds very rude but it doesn't seem like you are able to advocate for yourself either. I'd probably get irritated with someone who sat where they couldn't hear what was said or didn't know what to do with themselves if the other person walked off.

The friendship is probably over but maybe you need to think about how you can learn to be more assertive.

Just checked, and the short stretch of coastline where I grew up is estimated to hold 100 billion pebbles! 🤣 Everyone in the Uk could have one and not make a dent! Appreciate it's different in other areas.

Going away with a friend- particularly if you’re sharing a room - can be quite intense, and quickly highlights any small differences.Sorry your weekend wasn’t what you hoped OP. Next time you go away with friends, make it a bigger group and don’t share a room.

She sounds like a horrible person. I am not sure the friendship can recover from this. I certainly wouldn't be rushing to spend time with her any time soon. Would you treat a friend like that? No! So don't make excuses for her.

What a cow!!!