Friend leaving me whilst on holiday

[roastdinner346]

So me and my friend went away for a weekend break (Friday to Monday), for an early celebration for my 40th birthday next week.
Its the first time I've ever been anywhere with anyone else apart from my family.
A few things really got to me.
Firstly was she rolled her eyes and gave me looks when I said I was hungry. She's on weightloss jabs, and has no appetite at all, and can only manage a few mouthfuls, which is completely fine, but that doesn't mean I don't get hungry 🙈
The next thing was that I wanted to take a pebble off the beach for my niece, who collects them from various places.
She didn't agree with this, and we were paying for something in a shop and she went on about me taking the tiny pebble, saying that it should be left there, and said it so loudly all the other people in the shop could hear. It just made me feel really small.
Then last evening in the entertainment lounge, she started talking to a family next to us. Which again, isn't a problem, but I'm left on the end, left out of the conversation, and because I'm slightly deaf, I had no idea what they were saying to even join in.
She asked me to get drinks, which I did, and then I turns out she had told them that I'm introverted and that I hate people. So god knows what these people must have thought about me.
I will happily speak to people, if I'm included.
Then today we were supposed to be going for a walk to the other side of the sea front.
I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.
For the whole weekend it felt like it was just an excuse for her to take endless selfies, not once did she ask to get one of both of us. I just wondered why I was even there.
Am I overreacting for being upset about all of this?

@Gingercatlover - it was a question to the OP, not a rhetorical question.
And I don't want to add to what is a bit of a pile on on this thread because the OP answered some points and whatever else was going on, the OP was badly treated by her badly behaved friend.

So in theory: I think it possible that someone who has never been away with anyone but family by the age of 40 is less independent than average. But obviously there may be many reasons. MN is full of women I regard as having needy behaviours in ''needing support' - can't contemplate doing ordinary things alone, like going to the cinema, driving more than an hour, driving somewhere they don't know, or on a motorway. Not going out after dark, even to the corner shop, not going for a rural walk alone etc.

Personally I would not have asked a relative to pick me up unless it was an actual emergency. I understand that it was no longer comfortable for the OP to be with the 'friend' but compared to putting someone out, having a meal and a drink and a bit of an explore, and then turning up late (or being asleep early) in the room would have been do-able for me.

But I get we are all different and maybe the pick-up distance was an hour's round trip max.

The OP does not think she is a needy person in general and if you have had enough and its your birthday weekend, that's fair enough.

Sure, and the friend could have done this too. But she didnt do this either and she was the one getting huffy and annoyed so actually, the friend should have had this conversation if she knows she is easily irritated

I was away with two relatives on WLI and they still ate 3 meals a day, although small ones.
I have a dear friend who is a pain about meals on holiday. She is petite and at every fricking meal I get the whole “ Oh gosh this is so big, I can’t possibly eat all this. I shall need to skip lunch/dinner etc”. I just tend to ignore her now as I know it’s all about her not about me.
None of us are perfect which is why separate rooms and having more than two people is always good.

If only ‘Mr Happy’ had been left on the beach…🤷‍♀️

Bear in mind the ‘ horrible ‘ friend isn’t here to share her point of view.. it’s perfectly possible that they both trod on each others toes and Didnt discuss it, and so both came home miffed. Either forgive each other, or move on, really.

We can only comment on what we know based on the OPs post though.

It’s the same as everything we see on MN of course - we are only getting one side of the story, but we need to comment based on what we have been told.

It’s also perfectly possible that it did happen as Op has outlined and if so the friend is very much in the wrong. Sometimes in a friendship fall out, one side really is to blame.

That person does not sound like any sort of friend, sorry OP

The law about beaches is fairly clear (her lording over you is not ok)

"Taking pebbles, shells, or sand from public beaches in the UK is generally illegal under the Coastal Protection Act 1949. Removing these materials, which act as natural sea defenses against coastal erosion, can result in fines of up to £1,000. It is advised to leave all natural materials on the beach."

I have taken pebbles but now our coast is so threatened I wouldn't any more.

She is not a nice person.
Now you know.
Sometimes it takes going away with someone to see them clearly.
Well done for leaving her to her judgy nastiness.
I'm sorry you had to find out who she really is while away with her.

I've found a solution.

Next time I visit that beach I will take two of my garden rocks, thus restoring the balance and adding an extra one too!

Oh come on now, look at how many posters have completely ignored that and had so much enjoyment in calling the ‘friend’ a cow/bitch/nasty/horrible…
they’ve really enjoyed their pitchforks and pyre!

I had no idea about the pebble & shell law. We used to take loads home from the seaside when I was a child, so much so that my father rendered an external wall and stuck them onto it.

I think your 'friend' sounds awful, OP. Someone said that you should/could have raised the food issue beforehand but if it's your friend with the drug-induced appetite of a gnat, she should have been the one to raise it & not you

Perhaps the loo thing was to give you some privacy?

You’re not wrong! I think all the posts exclaiming what a nasty bitch the friend was turns my mind to the wider picture , in the interest of fairness.

Doesn't sound like a friend.

Taking pebbles off the beach isn't OK. It's the 'but it's just one!' mentality that's the problem; if everyone thinks that, beaches will be stripped of them. Plus, any given pebble could be home, shelter or use for some creature or other.

The walk to the other side of the sea front: you could easily have just followed.

Her telling people you were introverted and hate people sounds like someone who's about thirteen. Reminds me of horrible things my school bullies and so-called 'friends' who wanted to be accepted by the cool kids used to do to me.

I should think so too! Pebble stealer….

But a thousand people don't take a pebble daily. A thousand people will never want to take a pebble daily. If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle, but she doesn't.

If you are going deaf, it will not be great for you, but it will not be easy for your friend to have a conversation with you on a night out, especially with a lot of background noise. Likewise, your friend may have just told you she was just starting off on her walk and you simply not heard her. People who are going deaf simply do not realise what they miss hearing. You should have caught her up but you decided not to go. You need to get your hearing sorted out. If you can afford a weekend away, then you can afford a trip to specsavers.

Yes and that's aimed at people who take a bunch of them for their ponds or gardens. Not one person taking one stone.

Removing one pebble? Unreasonable?!! I have taken bags away to paint and put in the bottom of my plant pots for drainage. Shoot me now.
Your 'friend' sounds horrible. I'll go away with you, we can collect pebbles and eat food together.

A plausible estimate for how many pebbles are on all the beaches in the uk is apparently 10-20 trillion pebbles. If everyone in the uk took a pebble home tomorrow it wouldn't actually make a dent in the pebble situation. People have taken large quantities of pebbles from beaches to build rockeries, gravel their gardens and create other features which is the type of thing that causes an issue. NOT emphatically not a single pebble being taken by a single person.

Exactly! I bet the pebble-shamers all have cars and children and possibly pets - all much worse for the planet than taking one measly pebble!

Always a good idea to consider what the other person’s point of view may be. And yes, I do think that in respect of the majority of threads concerning friendship issues.

She was extremely irritated by you for no reason, she’s not a good friend. It’s your holiday weekend too.

Possibly. I was in a relationship when I was 17 until I was 35, the relationship was an emotionally abusive one, i wasn't allowed friends, so i didn't have any until that relationship ended.

I have been to get a hearing test, and have been told I have hearing loss. Im waiting for my appointment off the hospital as because I am under 50, I don't meet the requirements to get a hearing aids instantly.
The break was £38, and i am infact regretting spending it on a break instead of putting it towards a hearing aid, but i thought going away for a weekend for my birthday would be fun.