Friend leaving me whilst on holiday

[roastdinner346]

So me and my friend went away for a weekend break (Friday to Monday), for an early celebration for my 40th birthday next week.
Its the first time I've ever been anywhere with anyone else apart from my family.
A few things really got to me.
Firstly was she rolled her eyes and gave me looks when I said I was hungry. She's on weightloss jabs, and has no appetite at all, and can only manage a few mouthfuls, which is completely fine, but that doesn't mean I don't get hungry 🙈
The next thing was that I wanted to take a pebble off the beach for my niece, who collects them from various places.
She didn't agree with this, and we were paying for something in a shop and she went on about me taking the tiny pebble, saying that it should be left there, and said it so loudly all the other people in the shop could hear. It just made me feel really small.
Then last evening in the entertainment lounge, she started talking to a family next to us. Which again, isn't a problem, but I'm left on the end, left out of the conversation, and because I'm slightly deaf, I had no idea what they were saying to even join in.
She asked me to get drinks, which I did, and then I turns out she had told them that I'm introverted and that I hate people. So god knows what these people must have thought about me.
I will happily speak to people, if I'm included.
Then today we were supposed to be going for a walk to the other side of the sea front.
I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.
For the whole weekend it felt like it was just an excuse for her to take endless selfies, not once did she ask to get one of both of us. I just wondered why I was even there.
Am I overreacting for being upset about all of this?

She does sound hard to be with.
I went away with 2 friends for a 50 celebration recently. It’s was nice but one friend didn’t appreciate the others differences and it was hard work for me. Piggy in the middle. I’ve decided not to do it again. However your friends does sound very rude as there are only two of you.

holidays with friends can be hard tho. Nothing like a holiday to show a persons true colours.
if you want her as a friend then reach out but tbh id not bother in your circumstances

Chat gpt reckons that an average 1km of beach contains 300million pebbles.

But OP gets told off for taking one 🙄

I think the OP needs to work on her confidence and self esteem. Why has she never been away without family by the age of 40? Why did she have to sit about with nothing to do when the friend went away? She was very unkind to the OP but I wouldn't have enjoyed a holiday with her either.

YANBU

Your friend wasn’t being kind or respectful. Even if you were irritating her in some ways, she should’ve carried on being thoughtful and kind or had the odd time out. The fact the trip was for your birthday makes it even worse. Or, if she was finding it really difficult, she could’ve explained that kindly to you. Not turned to other people in your presence.

It’s fine to briefly explain why it’s not great to take even one pebble, if it’s a hill she really wanted to die on. But to you. Not an entire shop. That’s humiliating.

The only thing you could’ve done differently (if you didn’t) is explain to her why you wanted to leave your own birthday trip. Be assertive, with humour if poss, in saying how you were affected by her inconsiderate behaviour. But, given how upset you were and that you had to share a room, it’s understandable you wanted to cut and run.

The Pebbles thing is pathetic What about commercial pebbles that are sold for gardens etc. nature will create more in decades to come anyway. It’s not a rare flower or an endangered animal ffs. Some people are too busy being on the moral high ground.

I’m sad you had a miserable weekend. Sadly this is when you realise when that person you thought you had great social vibes with on a daily basis is not quite the right person to holiday with.

The times we heard friends go on holiday with friends and fall out. We regretfully did this, resolved quickly with it being a road trip. We agreed to disagree and they went home. The relationship is minimal now.

On the other hand, I do think before up and leaving you should have had a conversation with her about your disappointment

This is further proof to me that the world has gone mad. You can't wear perfume anymore, you can't take a pebble from 100 billion without a friend pebble-shaming you in public, you can't do anything without the Fun Police frowning down on you from a great height!

I appreciate the pebble issue in less fulsomely-pebbled areas as mine. Also would like to make clear that I do not go round de-pebbling beaches at will. I just think it's nice when children take one as a happy memory of a day out - from a deeply pebbled beach, not from one where they are sparser. Not everyone has the money to buy souvenirs or to have phones with fancy cameras.

"pebble-shaming you in public"

Love it 😂

I think it's highly condescending to pebble-shame your friend even privately. I'd rather be happy than right. And the pebble was for a child, anyway.

How did yous get there originally and what did she say when she realised you'd gone home?

Folk going on about pebbles, FML one pebble out of billions is not going to ruin the eco system.....go start another thread if you care so much about it and stop derailing the Ops thread.

I agree. I live right near the beach. The beach is so overflowing with bloody pebbles that you see them scattered on the pavements as theyve drifted up from the beach or people have accidently kicked them whilst they are walking. In some places you sink knee deep into pebbles. The idea that taking one is an issue is laughable and even IF it is important not to, why the fuck would her friend scold her loudly in public - talk about bloody awful behaviour.

I think the pebble thing has caught traction because it was such an unbelievably nit-picky and highly critical thing to say to her friend. Said friend must really dislike OP to glom on to something like that about her.

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

There may be some truth in this post, or perhaps not. But you know...people do have different approaches to things like this.

That going away without family is new and/or worrying for you is not her responsibility.
On the day of the walk, you weren't forced to spend hours doing nothing, you chose to.
People get chatting to strangers when they're away all the time, join in or don't but it's not up to your friend to facilitate it for you.

I could be way off the mark but you are coming over as a wee bit helpless. Sorry.

I wish 100 billion people would come and take a pebble each from my beaches so that we could enjoy the sand underneath! The beaches are horrible and it's because of those dratted pebbles.

Down with pebbles! 🤣

I went away twice with my so called best friend at the time & I found her to be incredibly selfish & attention seeking. I go away with a different friend now but we have separate rooms & do things separately then meet up for walks, coffee, dinner etc. She also goes to bed before me so I stay up on my own watching the entertainment etc. Works really well. The only person I'd ever share a room with us my OH as we're usually on the same page as to what we like to do on holiday

You sound to be somehow dependant on her. I would just have walked on my own if she had left. Doesn't change the fact that she's a cow and you're better off without her though.

She’s not a friend.
She deserved you leaving.

Also- her friend is a massive hypocrite - GLP-1 injections create high levels of pollution and toxic solvents in their manufacture. Interesting how she doesn't give a shit about that because its benefiting her though 🤣

C’mon. One pebble is not a problem. It’s the people who drive up and load a trailer who are the ones being fined. I live on the coast and take photos of them if I see them doing it.

Your friend sounds very self centred. I had a similarly shit holiday with a friend some years ago that led to the end of our friendship. I realised that despite trying my best to be kind and supportive, she was horribly jealous of me and that would never change.

I love our pebble beaches! So much nicer getting dry from the sea without having to contend with sand getting everywhere.

We have one sandy beach here. I only ever go to that one to walk the dog, never if I actually want to use it myself. Pebbles all the way 😂

She left for the walk but you couldn’t catch up or decide to do something alone for an hour or two?

Yes!!

The "friend" was just hating OP and wanted to criticise her any way, any how, instead of being a grown-up, using her words, and communicating to OP about what was bothering her. If anything was bothering her, that is, and she wasn't just being a bitch.

Why do people take trailer loads of pebbles?? What on earth are they doing with them?

Quite!!!!

Good Lord, I've heard it all now!