Friend leaving me whilst on holiday

[roastdinner346]

So me and my friend went away for a weekend break (Friday to Monday), for an early celebration for my 40th birthday next week.
Its the first time I've ever been anywhere with anyone else apart from my family.
A few things really got to me.
Firstly was she rolled her eyes and gave me looks when I said I was hungry. She's on weightloss jabs, and has no appetite at all, and can only manage a few mouthfuls, which is completely fine, but that doesn't mean I don't get hungry 🙈
The next thing was that I wanted to take a pebble off the beach for my niece, who collects them from various places.
She didn't agree with this, and we were paying for something in a shop and she went on about me taking the tiny pebble, saying that it should be left there, and said it so loudly all the other people in the shop could hear. It just made me feel really small.
Then last evening in the entertainment lounge, she started talking to a family next to us. Which again, isn't a problem, but I'm left on the end, left out of the conversation, and because I'm slightly deaf, I had no idea what they were saying to even join in.
She asked me to get drinks, which I did, and then I turns out she had told them that I'm introverted and that I hate people. So god knows what these people must have thought about me.
I will happily speak to people, if I'm included.
Then today we were supposed to be going for a walk to the other side of the sea front.
I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.
For the whole weekend it felt like it was just an excuse for her to take endless selfies, not once did she ask to get one of both of us. I just wondered why I was even there.
Am I overreacting for being upset about all of this?

I'm flabbergasted about the pebble thing 😳 I generally don't care about shells or pebbles but I have never heard this in my entire life. Is this a new thing or a UK thing, because I live in the Midlands and only go to beaches abroad?

does this pebble thing include shells?? Been to U.K. beaches a lot last summer with my DC and they want to fill their pockets with shells collected from wandering along the beach, so I let them?? They're in our back garden now. No signs, nothing to say we shouldn't?

She seems to have decided to bully you for any reason she can. You did exactly the right thing in cutting your holiday short. I once went away with a friend I’d known for 15 years and she bitched at me for the whole weekend. I never spoke to her again.

Yes, it does in the UK.

She sounds like a horrible person but she’s right about the pebble, and I’m wondering if it took you a particularly long time Tomas’s the toilet and why if she could do something alone, you couldn’t too?

For those asking, shells need to be left alone too. People talking them is a problem for crabs who grow and use different ones to live in over their life time.

Just googled and you can be fined up to £1000 for removing sand, pebbles and shells 😱 driftwood is ok though.
Since 1949 🫣 I'm embarrassed not to know this.

i needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.
how long were you in the loo for that you couldn’t catch her up?
where did she go that she was gone for hours?

I went on holiday with a friend of 20 years who was an absolute bitch from day 1 and also did the wandering off without me thing, we never spoke again after the holiday sadly but 5 years on i dont miss her.

Holidays can bring out people's true nature.

I am a great believer in the 'you really know someone until 'you have worked with them, lived with them or gone on holiday with them'.

She sounds very grumpy - almost like she didn't want to be there. Have you spoken to her since?

You couldn’t have just caught up with her after the loo? She couldn’t have been THAT far away!
She does sound like a cow but an irritated one. You’re not compatible as friends.

Actually am rethinking and are you needing a lot of help from her on the holiday with either physical or emotional support op?

Your friend doesn't act like a friend.
She's impatient and rude.
If I were you, I'd have gone for the walk alone. You might have caught up with her but, even better, you might not have seen her and you would have enjoyed a lovely walk.

Seems like your friend is a doer and she's a poser too.
Never go on holidays with her again. And do not marry her. She and you are not suited.

Sorry but it sounds like she doesn’t really like you. Did you pay for the trip and she just went along for the freebie?

If everyone took a pebble, then flooding would get worse, look at all the erotion now to the coastline!
it’s illegal for a reason!
I live on the coastline and can see a decline from years ago.

OP, you’re not over reacting. It sounds horrible.

it also sounds like the friendships is over unfortunately, she’s clearly not been able to make an effort and there is no coming back when you’re in that place.

re the pebbles it’s not widely known, no. It’s not because your pebble is going to cause a problem, but that decades of misplaced pebbles and shells will cause erosion of the coast line. There are more powerful factors of course, but it’s something you personally can do to protect the coastline.

Bloody hell!

My most prized possession is a pebble with a line that looks like a smile, my late father drew two eyes on it and gave it to me on holiday when I was little. He told me to rub him when I was sad and I would feel better. The pebble is called 'Mr.Happy' and lives on my desk, and I still rub him occasionally.

Dd also has a box covered in shells that she collected herself and we glued on when she was small.

Does it really mean a single shell or pebble? Or is it more enforced when someone takes the piss (like taking a ton for garden work/driveway or something)

Does it really mean a single shell or pebble? Or is it more enforced when someone takes the piss (like taking a ton for garden work/driveway or something)
Both. Yes they mean it for a single pebble but are highly unlikely to enforce a fine for anyone taking very small amounts. It remains a possibility though and it's still not allowed.

She does sound a bit mean and well done for leaving, how did she react to that?

But a couple of thIngs did jump out:

I needed the toilet, so she decided to go without me. I didn't realise until I texted her and she said that she's already gone.
So I was left to do nothing, for hours, by myself.

Why did you do nothing for hours? Why didn’t you do the planned walk yourself? Staying at the hotel sounds like you wanted to punish her but ended up punishing yourself.

At that point I got really upset. She knew I wanted to go. I'd had enough and just wanted to go home. I didnt want to share a room, or pretend I was ok any more, it was exhausting, so I got a family member to kindly pick me up and take me home.

I would have just got public transport home. Maybe it wasn’t possible to get PT but it does sound like you rely on others and maybe the weekend away made you both realise that you’re not good travel companions because you have different personalities.

At least you didn’t go abroad for a week!

I didn't know about not taking pebbles from the beach either! We always let our kids go shell collecting when they were little to find the most unusual peddle/shell!

Holidaying with someone new can be hard and can make or break a friendship, as you have found out Sorry you had such a rubbish time for your birthday weekend

It means every single shell, pebble, jar of sand.

There aren’t the resources to enforce fines one every fly tipper or drink driver, but that doesn’t mean that those aren’t harmful things to do.

https://www.countryfile.com/news/collecting-seashell-fine

Agreed, OP didn’t need to sit and do nothing for hours at this point, the walk was still there?

I wonder just how long OP was gone that she decided to leave alone? Nobody would do that if it was a normal couple of minute nip to the toilet situation, surely?

Next time, have separate rooms. It makes all the difference to be able to get away from each other.

When she went off for the walk by herself, I'm surprised you weren't relieved! You could have done something that you enjoyed without her spoiling it. She sounds awful.

This is one I’d like to hear the friends version of to be honest.

Food thing - I’m on the jabs but I still enjoy eating out. But then I have been on hol with friends who all they want to do is eat and drink and spend hours finding the next bar/restaurant which is tedious.

Pebble - she was right. I can see from this thread though it isn’t well known.

Entertainment. Depends on the context. Were you sat there with a face like thunder? Did she just tell them that you are introverted or did they ask if you were ok, hence why it came out? Are you introverted?

walk thing - was it literally 2 mins or had she left because you faffed about before going out anywhere that she just had enough and left? Why on earth didn’t you go out on your own? You went left to do nothing for hours, you do have agency here. You could have taken yourself off, found a nice place to eat etc.

selfie thing sounds annoying.