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Original poster

Help me deter neighbours

292 replies

Claytonclogs · 15/02/2026 20:29

I have miserable neighbours. One woman coordinates with another neighbour to make sure that I can’t get my car in the drive most days of the week. My house is at the end of a very narrow dead end track and one of them parks their car opposite my drive each day after I’ve left for work preventing me turning in. Every day, the same charade - I go and ask them to move and maybe they do or maybe they don’t do it for a few hours. They both have drives and garages. They’ve had it in for me since I put in planning application for loft conversion. It was approved easily, it’s legal and was built considerately. I don’t overlook their properties or gardens from the loft.

Confronting doesn’t work, trying to diffuse doesn’t work, and I’m not interested in stuff like blocking their cars in retaliation. I don’t want to go down legal routes because don’t want formal disputes with the neighbours.

So … my goal is to appear so bizarre and wildly unhinged that they will think twice about blocking my drive or taking any action that might lead to an interaction with me. Creative and (legal) suggestions welcome!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
DrPrunesqualer · 15/02/2026 23:31

dawngreen · 15/02/2026 23:22

Can u install those bollards that u need to unlock when u come home.

They are parking opposite the drive. Other side of the road making it difficult to swerve in.

DogsandFlowers · 15/02/2026 23:33

NotnowMildrid · 15/02/2026 20:53

They are bullying you.

Buy a cheap vehicle and permanently park it opposite, to prevent them from doing it.

It would be a pain operating the manoeuvres, but at least you would have control and be able to get in/out of your drive.

Also they will get mightily pissed off with a car parked outside their house 24/7 but it will serve them right and give them a taste of their own medicine.

Or:

Park the car that you drive permanently outside their house 24/7. Again, they’ll soon get pissed off and give up. BUT, if they then commence at a later date, then so do you.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaas
a real old unsightly banger

BigBadBarrie · 15/02/2026 23:34

You know you can anonymously get glitter bombs delivered right?

Dollos · 15/02/2026 23:36

Call 101 or Highways if they’re stopping you accessing your property (drive)

Put on local Facebook page that you’re requesting double yellows due to inconsiderate parking. That might make them stop. Or requesting a Keep Clear.

I would also park outside their house all the time.

LucyLoo1972 · 15/02/2026 23:37

youalright · 15/02/2026 21:00

I told my gossipy neighbour that I had paranoid schizophrenia knowing she would tell everyone now no neighbours bother me

its sad though that it gets this response. I was very very high fucnitoing until a complete catastrophic psychotic breakdwon when I submitted my PHD. it devoted my life and I lost everythign. one dyad been giving a lecture and then a few days later I was delusional. my life has never been the same. I was hugely respected and well known befroe and lost so many friends that id had for 25 years or so. its terrible and my marriage is so so hard.

tara66 · 15/02/2026 23:46

Can you arrange for a tow truck to arrive and even have it towed away?

DrPrunesqualer · 15/02/2026 23:50

Dollos · 15/02/2026 23:36

Call 101 or Highways if they’re stopping you accessing your property (drive)

Put on local Facebook page that you’re requesting double yellows due to inconsiderate parking. That might make them stop. Or requesting a Keep Clear.

I would also park outside their house all the time.

They are not parking across the drive
They are parking on the other side of the road. OP just hasn’t got room to swing in.
Highways won’t do anything as it currently stands because the neighbours are within their rights. As has been said OP could ask for yellow lines. They might not allow it obviously.

Dorisbonson · 15/02/2026 23:52

If they have a driveway just park on their drive outside their house. Then sit in the car and toot the horn very loudly for one minute straight. Put a big sign in front of the windscreen in front over the steering wheel which says "stop blocking my driveway entrance". Get out the car, leave it there and walk off.

Come back at 9pm, toot the car horn for a minute again and then rev the engine aggressively with all the lights on. Get out the car and walk off.

Come back at 7am toot the car horn for a minute, put some earplugs in and play really loud shit music with the window down. Get out the car and walk off.

Come back when they have finished work (or 2pm) at a weekend toot the car horn for a minute again, put some earplugs in and then play radio 4 really really loudly. Rev the engine aggressively.

Reverse the car out the driveway and park on the other neighbours drive, repeat same process.

ItsuAtsu · 16/02/2026 00:08

If they’re parking after you’ve left for work presumably they’re at home for more hours than you. Life must be quiet and peaceful for them while you’re out earning a crust. Our local FB page has people complaining about filled charity bags or wheelie bins left out for days, music blaring out, high powered security lights which stay on from dusk to dawn. Just saying.

IAmAHomewardBounder · 16/02/2026 00:16

Every time they park there and you have to go and see them, don't mention the car. Witter on and on for as long as possible about banal and pointless stuff. Ask questions about their gardens, their decor, what they think happened to all the unicorns. The longer you can go on, the better. Make them bring up the car and then act nonplussed but if they want to move it, all right. Keep it up when you see them in passing. Talk to anyone that lives with them or visits. They'll not want to be bothered by you after a few times

IdentityCris · 16/02/2026 00:23

Could you just park across your drive so that you don't have to do any manoeuvring when you leave?

PeonyRoseDahlia · 16/02/2026 00:47

Are there any WW2 battle reenactment groups nearby that are looking for long term parking for a tank or two ?

Francestein · 16/02/2026 01:40

Cover the car in post it’s with “You park like a dick” on every one

MeghansToes · 16/02/2026 02:18

You need to put the shits up them!

Get a cardboard cut out of Pennywise from IT and stand it in the front window. Every time they park there, go out and leave a single red helium balloon tied to their wipers.

Can you pick up your house WiFi from them lane? Connect a Bluetooth speaker and every time they park there play eerie sounds when they are at their cars. Buy up dolls from charity shops and up their heads on branches. When the neighbours are outside, start up the speak playing Ring A Ring A Roses followed by a cackling witch.

Jasonandtheargonauts · 16/02/2026 02:23

Francestein · 16/02/2026 01:40

Cover the car in post it’s with “You park like a dick” on every one

There's also a website. You park like a cunt .com . Upload a pic of their car numberplate included. And send them the website address in the card alongside that glitter bomb.

If you do park a cheap car outside their house to annoy them, spray paint a couple of panels completely different colours to the car and get some shattered glass window film for a few of the windows so it looks like a right eyesore. They will explode with the long term frustration of not being able to have the "abandoned car" removed because it's road legal. If they say anything, offer to swap places with them so it's parked opposite you and they don't have to look at it.

echt · 16/02/2026 03:03

Sorry if this has already been mentioned, but can you reverse in? You have more manoeuvrability in reverse, so need less room.

FrozenFebruary · 16/02/2026 03:13

Greennuttysmoothie · 15/02/2026 21:45

If them larking on a bit of the road prevents access to your property, take some photos and submit to the council, requesting double yellow lines.

This.

all the nonsense might be funny to think about doing, but if you actually want it resolved. Do this.

Friendlygingercat · 16/02/2026 03:47

Park nasty crappy vehicle outside your house or one of their houses. Under cover of darkness sprinkle wild bird seed all over it. Birds will crap as they eat the seeds and make it look even worse. Or sprinkle the bird seed over their cars. After all, birds are an act of god.

MaeWestNeverForgets · 16/02/2026 03:51

This really is harassment,and you shouldn't have to put up with it. A mild start would be the old birdseed scattered over their car.

Flukingflukes · 16/02/2026 03:55

Clementine12 · 15/02/2026 20:42

I wouldn’t go in the drive. Leave your car in front of their’s. So they have to come and ask you to move yours. Then they will get fed up!

This ^

Or, alternatively, scatter breadcrumbs on the roof of their car.

FairKoala · 16/02/2026 04:04

This is where driving a very old crappy beaten up car comes in handy

You would be surprised at how people react when they know you don’t care about your car and it is heading towards their precious shiny one because they have decided to park where they shouldn’t

User0311 · 16/02/2026 05:04

packratandproud · 15/02/2026 22:06

Where do you park if you can't get in your drive OP?

Wondering the same thing!

DiscoBeat · 16/02/2026 05:19

Put traffic cones in the spot but paint them in that stinky salmon oil that dogs love. Every time they try to move them paint them in something else: ink, anti theft paint, days-old takeaway. Or thick, strong glue - you can enjoy watching them struggle with everyday tasks with their new traffic-cone hands.

youalright · 16/02/2026 05:44

LucyLoo1972 · 15/02/2026 23:37

its sad though that it gets this response. I was very very high fucnitoing until a complete catastrophic psychotic breakdwon when I submitted my PHD. it devoted my life and I lost everythign. one dyad been giving a lecture and then a few days later I was delusional. my life has never been the same. I was hugely respected and well known befroe and lost so many friends that id had for 25 years or so. its terrible and my marriage is so so hard.

Show quote history

I know i have bpd which is stigmatised but schizophrenia is definitely stigmatised more. People are afraid of what they don't understand. I have a friend who has schizophrenia and he's one of the nicest people I know but the way he gets treated by others sometimes is awful. This is why I knew it would work with my neighbours

Pardonthegarden · 16/02/2026 06:08

Fuckitydoodah · 15/02/2026 21:08

https://pakatak.co.uk/product/ltl-acorn-5310a-wildlife-spy-camera-trap/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1519351838&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhPmllrPckgMVTZRQBh0CgDN5EAQYBSABEgJCr_D_BwE

Get something like this and fix it somewhere visible but not easily reached and so it's obviously filming your driveway entrance/track. They might think twice if they realise you're capturing their efforts on camera.

There are data protection rules about filming people who are off your property/on the public road. So maybe deliberately buy a broken camera (sold for parts on eBay). It''s much cheaper and if they report you for filming....you can show it's a dummy for deterrent purposes!