Help me deter neighbours

[Claytonclogs]

I have miserable neighbours. One woman coordinates with another neighbour to make sure that I can’t get my car in the drive most days of the week. My house is at the end of a very narrow dead end track and one of them parks their car opposite my drive each day after I’ve left for work preventing me turning in. Every day, the same charade - I go and ask them to move and maybe they do or maybe they don’t do it for a few hours. They both have drives and garages. They’ve had it in for me since I put in planning application for loft conversion. It was approved easily, it’s legal and was built considerately. I don’t overlook their properties or gardens from the loft.

Confronting doesn’t work, trying to diffuse doesn’t work, and I’m not interested in stuff like blocking their cars in retaliation. I don’t want to go down legal routes because don’t want formal disputes with the neighbours.

So … my goal is to appear so bizarre and wildly unhinged that they will think twice about blocking my drive or taking any action that might lead to an interaction with me. Creative and (legal) suggestions welcome!

The only logical solution is to buy yourself a banger with a years MOT. Tax it, insure it for 500 miles, and park it on their drive in the dead of night. It doesn’t sound like they’re using it. And then instead of trying to get on your drive, just park next to them. You need to meet them at their level of petty.

But where is the diagram?

If you have the balls, park your car on their drive! They can’t legally do anything, and they aren’t allowed to block you in on their drive! They’ll soon get the message 😆

chants Diagram! Diagram! Diagram!

Buy yourself a black robe and wand and piece of chalk 5 candles. Draw a large pentagram on your drive candle at each point. Start chanting point wand skyward then spin round and point wand at their car. Laugh throw hands up to sky praise the goddess of justice. Get an incense burner walk round your drive swinging it wearing your robe chanting swing it 3 times in front of their car

This old thread sprang to mind for me too!
I was a bit over invested in that one at the time.

I agree with the suggestion of having the conversation with them, including mentioning you see a connection between your loft conversion and their petty behaviour now.
I gather that in the UK formal complaints/issues between neighbours need to be notified when a house is put on the market - I may have the detail incorrect. If this is the case, ask if they are thinking of ever listing their houses as a formal complaint about their parking behaviour may make it difficult for them to sell.

Yes, go full mad. Like, leave a ‘sorry’ card for them saying their friend dropped round to explain the neighbour’s ‘special circumstances’ for them having to leave their car there, and that you’d had had no idea about their ‘challenges.’ How you totally understand now and are so sorry they felt too embarrassed to share. Say your great aunt has ‘suffered’ with the same and so you understand.

Well I'm interested in buying a house that may have a similar set-up (a narrow lane, with parking areas for some of the houses but not others, particularly not the one I'm interested in), The Estate Agent's description has this

"The lane is common land the neighbour has previously agreed to parking one car on the lane closet to the main road
There are no parking arrangements on the deeds"

I don't like the idea of my parking being on the sufferance of a neighbour. Any ideas? Perhaps this is why the house is very cheap.

Or your lion costume

Erm, major faux pas @Claytonclogs posting without a hand-drawn diagram.
Surely, you're aware of this (unwritten) rule?
Tsk, tsk.

Take photos of their cars every time. Eventually they'll see you doing this.

It is very annoying.

Go out dressed as a witch, paint pentangles next to the car and in front of their houses. Put fake blood inside the pentangles. Do a weird dance while chanting and pointing at the car and their houses. If they ask what you're doing, tell them you're practising because you keep getting your spells wrong, hence the "blood".

Wear a cloak with the hood up. Hold some sort of branch creation such as a cross in a circle and stand looking at their window. Ideally in darkness. Chant some sort of garbled nonsense. When they see you give them the old David Blane hand gesture eye on the palm.

When they're around, stand out the front of your house with binoculars, aimed right at them. Maybe get a notepad and pen and start 'writing' stuff down at the same time.
You want to look a bit unhinged, and like you're 'planning' something.
Just enough so that they think maybe it's safer not to mess with you.

It’s legal to park across a dropped kerb too but only if there’s no car on the driveway.

I think going out and taking photos each time is a good shout. Make sure they see you, take photos, check time and write in a little book. Then get friend in high vis to come over

If I was angry enough I’d park my car in their driveway.

Read "the lady in the van" by Alan Bennett for inspo

Can you just park on their drives each day if you can’t get into yours?

Can u install those bollards that u need to unlock when u come home.

Can't you just lean on your horn until they appear and move their vehicle? The more neighbours know why - the better. Of course this only works if they are there.

my neighbours daughter passed her driving test then started parking over my dropped kerb making it hard to get in my drive, i spoke to her she did not evan know what a dropped kerb was, i said it was not my fault they had 3 cars and only one drive, that was 2 years ago she has not spoken to me since, my point is neighbours get upset about something small and keep it going, daft but true, you have had some good ideas on here off people good luck,how about the council getting lines put on the area,

This is genius. Buy a cheap car. Do as this wise lady says!! X