DH running with dd(8) at 5am

[foreveror]

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

I'm a very keen runner (several marathons) and a mum of teens.

Unless the daughter is really keen to do this herself, I think it's a bit much to be getting up at 5am. I totally get why this would disturb you, and running in the dark is not always safe. Both parents mean well I'm sure, but is this the best schedule for the daughter? Sorry haven't read full thread.

Also, the earliest I'll get up to run myself is 5:30am, and that's only rarely - on a race day involving travel and early breakfast.

I did this with my DF, both running and cycling. He’s no longer with us and I absolutely TREASURE those memories.

I also think, for a man with such a temper (that I have inherited 😅), he showed so much patience to me while I slowed him down/moaned about being cold or hungry despite begging to go 🤣

I‘m a big running fan but 5 k every morning at 5am if that’s what it is is nuts for an 8 year old. Would be hardcore for almost every (adult) runner I know. And I’d be worried about the effect on her joints as she is growing up.
would your dh take her out for 2k three times a week, maybe a bit longer once a week perhaps. He could always drop her off at home then go out again.

hopefully the novelty will wear off but I wouldn’t necessarily want to discourage

People don't run on the lanes around here either, because most of our neighbours have physically active jobs. For most people though it would likely be running on pavements with street lighting. And as I said, the farm kids here are up with their parents doing jobs early doors in all weathers. Cold, dark, snow, rain, wind. Is that also weird/neglectful? Or is it just running at that time in the winter that you think is wrong?

Fair weather folk up here are generally classed in the wet blanket category!

I assume she's going on an empty stomach? That isn't very good for women and girls, despite the penchant for fasted runs.

Why not get them to do parkrun and junior parkrun and go out once a week on a weekday - at a more sensible time.

I'd trust your gut OP - it does sound excessive.

If it were me, I'd say it's fine to do once a week, with the proviso she doesn't wake you up. If she wakes you or her siblings, she doesn't get to go the next week, which is a fair and natural consequence. You and your younger children do matter, and it is okay to insist that you all are allowed to sleep. Madness to let your daughters hobbies disrupt the household to that extent imo, even if she's not doing anything "wrong".

NHS guidelines say at least 5 portions of fruit and veg a day.

This has probably been said already though.

I expect she's walking a lot of it.

Yep I’d limit to 2k max based on junior park run guidance.

Also is he having to wake her up? If so I think it’s very unreasonable and dangerous - too much pressure on her young body. Lack of sleep.

I'd be most concerned that it's street running, a friend of mine has been a street runner for years, she's had both knees replaced before she was 40. It's too high impact on young joints, can they do park run together on a Sunday?

Ultimatum and one last chance

She can run with her dad (good bonding time) but ANY more nonsense waking everyone up and she doesn't go again.
That means no talking on the landing. No crashing doors, and no shouting when she comes back in.

Yabu, it's not their problem if you can't get back to sleep.

You'll need to get used to people in the house being active at different times. In a few years she will be up when you go to bed. Then there will be times when she is out when you go to bed. I know that's years away but it's difficult to get used to. I often put in ear plugs, not because they are so loud but because I can't help but feel on high alert and i listen for noise and can't relax. If I eliminate the chance of hearing noise my brain switches off too.