DH running with dd(8) at 5am

[foreveror]

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

Up at 5am on a school day? That seems mad to me. Why can't they do that at weekends? I'm a passionate runner but she needs sleep before school surely.

I’d be quite firm - if she can’t be quiet as a mouse at that time in the morning, she doesn’t go. No arguments, no excuses.

OP didn't say he was waking her up.

Sounds like a you problem then OP you’re just going to have to live with it

An 8yo is going running every day at 5am before school?

So many questions.

Why? Does she want to, or does he think she needs to/it's goodnfor her?
Is she having to be woken to go?
How does she cope with the rest of the day?
How far are they running? No-one should be running everyday, not even elite athletes. Why would you don't hate to an 8yo?

Regardless, there needs to be a rule that if she can't go quietly she can't go, but there are plenty of other reasons it should be a once or twice a week thing max.

In which case, yes, you really are being unreasonable, it almost sounds like you're envious of their special father/daughter time with a shared interest and from which you feel excluded. Does you have similar shared interest time with your DD?

I cannot actually believe there are people saying this is a bad idea.

Need to be mindful of issues like Osgood-Schlatter disease

What do you mean? She is running too. Or do you mean is she already awake? Im not sure what difference it makes.

OP if your girl is happy and isn’t falling asleep in school etc I dont see what the problem is.

Best give her an iPad instead 🙄

I’m sure she will be absolutely fine. Just tell her to keep it down. It doesn’t need to be thought to death.

Why are people caught up on the fact she’s getting up at 5? She does her run, goes to school, comes home and is in bed by 7:30/8. I don’t see the issue with the time.
The only issue is the disturbance (unless she’s really tired and grumpy by tea time?)

this really is a you problem. As you said, you know she’s safe.

@FaintingGoats shes already doing quite a bit of exercise that is putting strain on her growing joints before you factor in the running

It might die a natural death - doesn’t DH have to slow down.

Way too much - she really shouldn't be running 5k at her age. They need to cut the length to about half the distance. (UK athletics limit cross country to 2k for 9 year olds as do Junior parkrun) It would be better if he took her out after school a couple of times in the week and once at the weekend (perhaps a junior parkrun on Sundays?). Would also solve your issue.

Also the rule of thumb on exercise is the same number of hours a week as their age and that should include pe etc at school and it sounds to me as if she's already at this level before the running with all her other activities.

A cautionary tale - during lockdown my very active sporty DD lost all her activities and chose to go out and run - at 15 so much further along in her skeletal development. She overdid it, ended up with a stress fracture in the base of her spine and had to have a gap year to have the operation to fuse it. She has been told to never run again. I would like you to really think about the level of physical activity your daughter does to ensure she doesn't have any similar problems.

Sounds like DD may be on her way to the one hour of daily vigorous exercise NHS guidelines recommend!

Seems her father may be setting her up for a healthy life and love of exercise. And the 'risks' can be managed - specialist websites specifically deal with running for children and adolescents, the benefits, risks and management of such risksn

It’s really not that, it’s just making me more tired!

We do dance and skate together, we spend lots of time together. I love that they have a good bond and shared interest, I just wish it wasn’t at 5am on school day

I think the part where you are disturbed is unreasonable but it’s fine for her to go out running then. It will be much lighter soon as well.

You should be glad you aren’t a swim parent, I don’t miss 5am!

If he was keeping her up past 9pm to go running would this be OK? I suspect not. My 10yo does loads of exercise and would love it if he could go running at night (early or late) but he does need sleep and usually sleeps 9pm to 7.30am most nights. I would let him as a one off or maybe as a regular thing on a weekend if he didn't already have football training and matches to go to.

I think an 8yo running 5k for the sake of it at 5am is probably detrimental to her sleep.

https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/health/a39925104/how-far-should-children-run/

You might find this article interesting. It even mentions getting enough sleep.

What about only doing Fridays and Saturdays? She still gets time with dad but not doing too much on school days.

You first said the issue is that she wakes you up. Then backtracked that you're up because you're thinking of her out there etc.

As long as she isn't overdoing the amount of exercise and is getting enough sleep (which it sounds like she is) then the only issue left is that you are miffed about missing out on your sleep.

You need to invest in some noise cancelling headphones or learn to get back to sleep or whatever. The runners aren't the issue.

I'd introduce a rule. She makes enough noise to wake anyone up, she skips the next session. I think she will soon learn.

I'd also be checking whether running 15k a week on concrete is good for bone development

Bloody hell, she’s easily doing 15- 20 hours of exercise every week.