DH running with dd(8) at 5am

[foreveror]

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

If she’s waking naturally at that time I don’t see the harm in her joining him for some shorter runs a couple of times a week.
If he’s waking her to run then I would limit it to twice a week and ask they don’t do over 3 miles in one session.
Being out running with her Dad in the dark wouldn’t bother me, I’m assuming they are in high visibility clothing/head lights.

No, she's doing 5k a time.

That is relevant.

However they should be more considerate of you and the other children. It's not fair to be woken up so early, I'd object to that.

I'm frankly amazed anyone wants to be up, never mind out, at 5am. Still it takes all sorts.

As long as your daughter is happy doing it, and if they can keep their noise down, it sounds fine.

Then its really unreasonable of you to believe he should ignore her wishes so that you don’t worry about her, out with her Dad, and because she’s not being quiet enough.

Shes 8, she should be able to learn to be quieter if she wants to go, but she should absolutely go if she wants to. Running with her Dad has a lot of benefits.

This was one of my points. I understand she obviously likes activities, but she basically has zero downtime a day then? Downtime is different for everyone bug time for her body to relax.... whether she's playing with toys, colouring, reading, watching tv whatever.

She sound like she does a lot of activity (running and gymnastics) that are good in moderation but 2-3 hours a day of them sound like it'd be tough on her bones.

Why does it have to be 5am?

I’d have a chat with your DH about the distance being a worry as posters here have suggested, and do some research. Maybe once mid-week, and once at the weekend but less than 5k. I guess 5k is the distance your DH likes to do, but sounds like he will need to reduce the distance, or take her a lot less.

Well done your DP and a child! This is great... a dad being involved and engaging a child in healthy pursuits.
I would be thrilled.

For those saying it is amazing, it appears she doesn’t get any downtime during school week and is doing other high impact sports. Sleep and downtime is also important for an 8 year old’s development

Surely if she's waking up while he is going out, she'd wake you if she wasn't going with him anyway?!

I think the running is highly odd. 5am!!??? She’s 8! It’s February and dark and cold and always raining.

By the time she’s got to school she will have been up four hours. She must be shattered. Why is he doing it?

If I saw a little girl that age, running in the pitch black I would think it was neglectful to be honest. I couldn’t give a shit about being woken up but I would care about her being knocked down, catching a cold, being too tired for school, losing too much weight as she’s doing all those other activities.

Does she wear high vis gear? Is it waterproof? Motorists at 5am are not looking out for small children running on pavements.

My daughter is 7 and I hate having to go in her room and wake her for school on these cold winter mornings and that’s at 7.45am.

DS has come running with me since he was 8. His choice, he just went to bed earlier since I go at 5am. If she wants to go I can’t see how you can stop her, seems a bit unfair

She gets nearly 10 hours sleep which seems fine if she's not struggling.

In terms of downtime, lots of people fill theirs with constant activity. It's not a bad thing to like to stay busy.

No, I mean that training could work up to running 5K max now and again, NOT regularly running that distance.

5K a few times a week for an 8 year old is too much.

She probably likes the daddy daughter time OP. That's alright.

Then don't stifle her interest in sports.

You have said you fall back to sleep straight away. 5km is not far for an athletic 8 year old.

This is such a non problem.

@saltandvinegarpringles not much unstructured time

Junior park run don't "limit" them to 2k at all, that's literally the length of junior park run. You can join the standard 5k park run from your 4th birthday, the main difference is that children can run on their own younger at junior park run (over 14s are only there to accompany their child, so it's safer)
Anyway the junior park run I go to most of them run but not what I'd call fast. It's more of an amble than a run. For overtraining the intensity is far more relevant than the distance.
See a physiotherapist or other suitable professional if you have concerns, but I think focus on the sleep angle.

Way way way too much for her age and agree it’s far too early too.

See if there is a local Junior ParkRun, and get your DH to take her and run with her at that. It’s 2km every Sunday morning.

Not everyone likes or thrives on unstructured time.

She's choosing to do this, so clearly enjoys it.

Neglectful? If appropriately dressed and with a parent? Come on, seriously.

Catching colds happens when you are exposed to the cold virus, not from running on the streets when there's hardly a soul about 😂

Pitch black - do you not have any street lighting?! Heard of head torches?

Most kids in this country are overweight, and healthy, active kids given a healthy diet wuth sufficient calories will not lose dangerous amounts of weight.

I live in a rural area and it's quite normal for wee farm kids to be up with their parents feeding the animals and whatnot before school, even at 5 or 6am. We have a smallholding and ours used to come and feed the chickens and the ducks early morning before school, then they turned into grouchy teens and were less interested.

If you convey to your child how very dreadful it is to have to wake up at 7:45am in the winter to go to school, they too will start to believe it's a terrible hardship and (surprise) find it harder to get up for school. Again, be thankful you don't live here where the school bus would be round at 7:15am sharp because they have to collect all the other kids from the local villages as well!

No wonder so many kids are afraid of their own shadows if their parents are such wet blankets! Dear me.

Why shouldn't she regularly run that distance if that's what she wants to do and it's what she enjoys, though?

She's clearly very fit. And as a PP said, she could easily run that distance at parkrun if she wanted, she's not limited to the 2k junior race.

If I saw a little girl that age, running in the pitch black I would think it was neglectful to be honest. I couldn’t give a shit about being woken up but I would care about her being knocked down, catching a cold, being too tired for school, losing too much weight as she’s doing all those other activities.

That is incredibly dramatic. She's out doing something she wants to do with her dad, who presumably wants to keep her safe and doesn't shove her in the road or force her up against her wishes

I follow the UK athletics guidelines for children.