DH running with dd(8) at 5am

[foreveror]

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

Personally I would limit it to 2 mornings a week.

Running every morning isn't great for most people - you need cross training and rest days.

I would explain about her body needing time off and that Daddy will help her pick 2 days each week.

Suspect your H will be glad too!

However some kids are just like this. My son is almost 8 and routinely gets up at 5.30 to do additional homework, entirely his own doing. It doesn't always need to be a parent pushing - some kids do just graft!

Dad's can't win sometimes can they? Just leave them be OP .

@foreveror is she going every day?

I think you should be happy that your daughter is cultivating healthy habits and is spending quality time with her dad. Her father can keep checking in with her. If and when she is too tired or bored of the activity, then he can reduce the intensity etc. You don't have to do all the thinking and anticipating, as if her father is being irresponsible in some way.
And sorry, there is going to be at least a little noise when there is activity of people in the house. It is impossible to have total silence. As long as they are being reasonably quiet, why can't you just go back to sleep?

Sounds like someone just asked AI and ran with it. In reality it's far more nuanced, and the same article AI used as a source said children aged 9 are fine up to 5km.

The runner's world article seems a much better guide.

15-20 hours? What?
We don't let our teen boy do that! That's so unhealthy. When does she rest?

This is a nuanced article

Say no. It’s too much.
Explain to her about growth and skeletons and tell her no, it’s not happening.

Sounds like you’ve got an Olympian in the making! Congrats!

Horrific to have two to three hours of exercise a day??

It's too early for her and she needs her sleep. He's an idiot.

Unhealthy... not good for s growing child.
Professional athletes need rest days. Of course children do too.

Unreasonable for an 8 year old to get up at 5am to run for excercise. I’d be worried about her losing sleep and also worried she might be damaging her body. It seems excessive.

As the parent of a 16 year old runner, I’d be concerned about Osgood Schlatters and stress fractures too. Road running is especially tough on young knees. There was a really talented U13 runner at DS’s athletics club who over trained, ended up with a stress fracture, has never fully recovered and her promising athletics career is over.

DD does hurdles and netball and had Osgood Schlatters last year, she was off sport for months and still gets flare ups a year later. I hope she has really good shoes. DS runs between 50-60km a week (under his coaches supervision) and get through a £200 pair of trainers every 6 months.

OK, is it actually the issue that they're waking you up, or is it that you can't cope with your anxiety over her being out of the house without you? How do you cope when she's in school? At her clubs? At friends' houses? Would it be different if they weren't out running, if they were walking a dog for example?

Perhaps given her age they could shorten the distance, if they are going a few times a week. Means they could get up a bit later. Or DH could get up and run a couple of miles, then pick up DD for the last couple.

Those panicking about kids running, well of course they shouldn't be doing marathon training, but there are loads of kids her age doing parkruns, not junior ones, the whole 5k with a parent. Most of the under 10s I see are run/walking. Are they actually running the whole time when they're out doing 5k?

This is a complete non issue. You should be proud your DD is sporty and active, that sets her up for teenage years so much more than girls who are never encouraged to do sport or have interests. Just because it isn’t what you want to be doing, doesn’t mean it’s wrong for her.

So it’s a ‘you’ problem then?

If so, you’re just going to have to get over it.

Tell them to be extra quiet etc but if it’s more about your anxiety of her being out of the house then you’re just going to have to learn to deal with it.

If you think she’s genuinely unsafe or is not enjoying it/not getting enough sleep then I’d ask that they move it to 6am instead.

No, my background is in exercise and I wouldn't be happy with an 8yo doing that much exercise, mostly high impact.

Does she have any days where she rests completely?

@foreveror how many hours gymnastics does she do?

Children are supposed to get 2 to 3 hours of exercise every day though

A 5k parkrun once a week at 9am, in daylight (maybe sunshine!) after a proper night's sleep is a totally different ballgame to running at 5am.

My children, particularly my dd, absolutely loved doing stuff with her dad. Tell him to take her clothes downstairs the night before so it’ll be quieter.

@Natsku NHS state aim for 60 minutes spread across the day. Obviously many children will do more than this, but much of the exercise OP’s DD is doing is putting stress on her joints for reasonable amount of time in one period

Says who?

5+ should have 1 hour a day of physical activity.

The OPs child is doing more than twice that.

That rule of thumb sounds like bullshit to me. Like, everyone who’s ever met a 5 yr old knows they are little dynamos who just keep going and going. I can’t imagine trying to limit a 5 yr old to 5 hours of exercise per week. Unless we’re not counting all the running around play grounds, kicking balls against the garden wall and walking to school as exercise?