DH running with dd(8) at 5am

[foreveror]

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

Aww I see a dad and daughter duo out running and think it’s so sweet. Albeit not 5am.. I’d tell her that she needs to be quiet when leaving the house and if she continue to wake everyone else, then she doesn’t run. Equally if faffing around and late for school — no more morning runs.

Guidelines for competitions are different from casual running though, surely?

They give guidelines for training as well

It must slow him down hugely. Does he mind ?

how can an 8 yo keep up with a grown man for 30 mins? I would’ve had a stitch 15 mins in at that age! Maybe I was an unfit child

Exactly this.

Our local kids 2k parkrun has 4 year olds smashing it. For a sporty 8 year old 5km is absolutely nothing.

As long as she has sufficient sleep and nutrition she will be fine.

Just because most mumsnet readers get lactic acid walking up the stairs does not mean children should be limited to short runs.

So how much sleep is she losing? If it's half an hour I guess the argument is not as strong. But if it's an hour plus that's a significant loss for her. Plus she is waking up the younger children and disturbing their sleep as well as yours. YANBU given the amount of exercise she gets. I hate my sleep being disturbed with a vengeance. It has a real impact on how I function.

OP this sounds like a you problem. Especially given that they both want to do it, it was her idea and they make every effort not to disturb you.

Does she eat enough to compensate for this amount of exercise? I personally think it’s too much for an 8yo, they should be tucked up in bed at 5am!!

I’ve also had a teen with an ED and that started with increasing amounts of exercise, it’s not an uncommon way for kids to tip in to a calorie deficit which develops into anorexia.

It does, and it says maximum distance for a 9yo is 5k, and OP's DD is eight so not exactly years off.

Yes, it says she shouldn't be running 5 days a week but she's clearly very fit and loves exercise, and isn't being forced or pushed, so I would personally let her enjoy it while she can.

@RollOnSunshine do guidelines recommend that distance for 4yos

I also live rurally, so no, there isn’t street lighting. 8 year old with a head torch at 5am on narrow country lanes with tractors, no chance.

I’m far from a wet blanket. Running at 7am in August, as the sun comes up - bloody lovely. 5am, in the pitch black in February? Fucking weird.

Personally, I would try to limit it to a 3-4 times per week max. That way she still gets to run with her dad, but some time to recover. She may not feel she needs it, but I think it’s important to incorporate rest days. Your DH will also have some solo running time to go a bit faster/further.

I think it’s great she’s so fit and loves exercise op. It will put her in good stead for the future and running with her dad is a lovely thing to share.

I’m far from a wet blanket. Running at 7am in August, as the sun comes up - bloody lovely. 5am, in the pitch black in February? Fucking weird.

Weird for you. Lots of people have no issue with the cold, rain or dark.

It’s way too much exercise for an eight year old not good for her

Should you not be teaching DD good practices when she is doing so much exercise, so rest days, healthy eating, plenty of sleep, downtime. Being good at exercise isn’t just doing the exercise but making sure you look after yourself too

This is a you problem. They're as quiet as they can be, your husband is organised, your daughter wants to run, it doesn't seem to be negatively impacting her - you just don't like her being out with her dad, and that doesn't make much sense. She'll have a brilliant relationship with exercise as an adult, she is learning the value of getting up early to achieve fitness rather than making excuses that she doesn't have time, and she's spending quality time with her dad building a good core memory.

You need to chill about it imo. If she was showing signs of being over-tired or over-exercised, fair enough, but it sounds like she's loving it all.

To be fair one reason she is comfortable getting up so early is her bedtime is very early for an 8 year old. I'd have expected her bedtime to be a good hour later than 7.30. I think the range of healthy is 9-12 hours of sleep for that rough age group so 7.30-5am is in that if at the lower end.

Why does she have to run that early in the morning just because her dad does. Can't he go at a more suitable time so the rest of the household isn't affected by the noise? Plus she has as much rest as possible because to be up that early go for a run then go to school is a long day for am 8 year old.

Seems like it’s waking the younger kids, though?

What does it have to do with dads winning or not, or even to do with it being the male parent in this case?

Every day feels too much both in terms of her own sleep but also getting everyone else up earlier than she needs to. I think it would be better to do a max 3x a week with one of those sessions a park run at the weekend.

My 9 year old had a weird over-use type thing in her ribs last year. An injury for an active child is the worst thing as they just get incredibly frustrated. You have to step in if it is too much as some kids just won’t stop and have little judgement.

Agree. My DH was employed in clinical research by a renowned university albeit the labs were based within a hospital setting. His research was in Bone Metabolism, Medicine and many other areas of research. Very little of the funding came from the University or the NHS. The Professors of these departments worked their asses off to obtain the necessary funding from major international pharmaceuticals.
So, absolutely little to do with the NHS.

5k is what 30 / 40 minutes at a pretty chill pace.

the nhs guideline is not based on the top or highest amount but rather lowest common denominator.

I would expect/hope most children to be doing more than 1 hours rigorous movement a day

I think it’s lovely of him to take her when that presumably compromises his run, and that’s the line I would take when I said to him that 5km every morning is probably a lot of strain on a child’s growing body, and suggest they limit it to 1-2x a week. My 7yo can easily run 5k and he’s faster than me, we’ve done park run and a couple of fun runs, but I can’t take him on my run as I’m too slow, so kids that age do run 5k.