DH running with dd(8) at 5am

[foreveror]

Dh has always got up everyday at 5am to go for a run. No problem, it briefly wakes me up but he doesn’t turn the light on or make noise so I fall straight back to sleep.

Last couple of weeks he’s started taking 8 year old dd with him and it’s annoying me so much.

He tries to keep her quiet and get her down the stairs and out the door without waking anyone but it’s just so much louder having an 8 year old up and awake. Younger dc are sometimes waking up and coming into me.

I also feel I can’t fall back to sleep knowing she’s out there in the dark which I know is very silly, I don’t worry about her when she’s out with him in the day but it just feels different knowing she’s not in bed.

She’s very slim and does dance, gymnastics, football and skating every week so definitely doesn’t need the exercise. It’s just seems so unnecessary.

She tripped the other morning and came back in his arms in tears screaming she’d broke her ankle. She was fine, she’s just really dramatic but it made us all late for school. I know it wasn’t his fault but I couldn’t help feeling like it was as it wouldn’t have happened if he had just left her in bed.

I’m being completely unreasonable aren’t I? Would anyone else be annoyed by this?

Same. Used to love going out with my dad when everyone else was asleep- I still remember those times fondly. Great bonding

My country says 3 hours a day minimum for under 7s and at least 1-2 hours a day for over 7s. Now if she is showing signs of over doing it - pain, sleep problems, tiredness, routines out of whack, then its too much, which is quite possible with running for all the exercise because of the stress on the joints, but that amount of exercise in general is fine.

So as two sensible parents you say no. She can’t run with him on school days as it is too much and much too early. She can’t run join him on a weekend run.

To allow this is, frankly, batshit.

Agree that the 'I'm awake knowing she's awake' bit is a you problem, but it also seems excessive for an 8 yo. They shouldn't be doing the same exercise regime as an adult man. I think the compromise of 1/2 days a week, either Saturday or Fri-Sat, seems reasonable.

Says the health authority in my country. Which apparently wants children to be more active than the NHS wants, which seems to be a good thing considering children seem to be a lot fitter in my country than in the UK.

I’m a bit chinny reckon about this. Bet you won’t tell us what country

3 hours of running or other rigorous physical activity will 100% damage kids bones.

There are plenty of other ways to be active through play, walking etc

PP is in Japan, I believe. She's posted loads over the years.

Most countries in Europe recommend more exercise for children than the NHS does, and have healthcare practices that are actually based on contemporary research, unlike the dinosaurs at NICE who are suspicious of anything less than 10 years old. But then most kids in continental Europe are more active than the poor wee iPad addicted kids here, whose parents are either too busy, too anxious or too lazy to facilitate outdoor activities and sports.

Finland. Here's a study on it if you'd like https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9985767/

According to the NHS, who also tell us we should only be eating 5 bits of fruit and veg a day, when in reality we should be eating double that.

NHS advice is aimed at the lowest common denominator.

Yeah it should be a mix of different exercise/active play, just running alone at that rate is too much, but I was responding to someone saying that much exercise a day is too much which just isn't true.

Google seems to think it’s 60 mins recommendation in Japan so maybe it’s somewhere else or recently changed. Japanese children aren’t known as particularly healthy either tbf

I agree. Being well-rested for school is far more important for an 8 year old than pounding the pavements in the dark. I think he is being quite immature about it.

If it was waking me up I'd definitely be annoyed by it, OP. But running with your dad sounds like a great activity and one to be accommodated if she likes it and it isn't causing DD issues (like being too tired for school - 5am !&*!?).

The concern about her being awake, or out in the dark with her dad should dissipate. It's not rational and it's not good for DD (or DH, come to that) to have your irrational concerns hold them back from doing things they enjoy. Try some breathing or meditation techniques and keep remining yourself that DH has her.

If the noise is an issue (and it sounds like it may be if she's also waking siblings) maybe try some harder planning around how she gets up and out of the house and let her know her continued participation is contingent on her being a lot quieter.

She's said Finland - no idea where I got Japan from! 😂

ah ok. I have to admit I wasn’t even thinking of tiny countries like that 😂

Why is everyone assuming she's not well-rested?

If she's going to bed at 7.30, she's getting 9.5 hours sleep which seems absolutely fine to me.

Finland, Japan..same difference

The size of the country (I assume you mean population size, because the actual size is a fair bit bigger than the UK) doesn't affect the quality of the guidelines, that's for sure!

Some kids are early birds. mine are up at 5 every morning, we do homework and spellings between 5:30 and 6:30.
Sports in the afternoon/evening for us, as that’s when their training sessions are.
Waking up at 5 is fine, as long as bedtime is accordingly, so I don’t see the problem as long as your daughter enjoys it!

My df used to go at 6/7am on Saturday mornings to play golf in the summer. I used to beg him to take me, and totally loved the time together.
I remember him showing me all sorts of things during that time. Just us. All peaceful.
Beautiful memories.

Ah well it does. When it comes to research and scientific discovery there aren’t many leading countries of 5million, let’s face it. Personally I wouldn’t have any confidence that a random country has guidance more based on bette for more complete evidence than we do in the uk or elsewhere.

The UK does not have a world leading healthcare system. Do not kid yourself.

UK guidance is aimed at the lowest common denominator - see our guidelines re. fruit and veg which recommend we eat 5 a day when in reality it should be much more.