Wedding invite says “your presence is present enough” but also “we will have a wishing well”

[Sweetunicorn1]

What do you think, my sisters wedding invite says your presence is present enough to us but also if you want to make a contribution there will be a wishing well. Personally, I hate the wishing well thing and don’t think you should put you hand out for people to ‘contribute’ to your wedding. People who want to give you a cash gift (like grandparents and parents) will do so without a wishing well. Also, I just think it seems disingenuous to say “your presence is present enough” but then in the next breath that there’s a wishing well. Pick a lane.

It’s far from benign. It seems to be rather a public announcement of you having a large chip on your shoulder and projecting this onto strangers in irrelevant contexts. At least you wouldn’t be hungry if you attended a poorly catered wedding, I suppose, having your own giant snack with you at all times.

Anyway, these derails of the thread with contradictory personal conjectures are rather pathetic and of no interest to me so I shall not be responding to you further. It was the OP that asked for opinions about her situation, not me, so perhaps you should focus on responding to that.

As I said, if you feel my comment was an attack then go ahead and report it. It wasn't, so they won’t do anything. There’s nothing else I can say to you.

Then why has not one of my posts been deleted? Or even challenged by anybody other than you? Where are all these “personal attacks”? Who are all these people I’ve directed personal comments at? Show me just one.

YOU, on the other hand, have described the OP as horrible, others as lacking comprehension and making themselves look foolish, me as having made non-existent personal attacks - oh, and dismissed an entire culture as stingy. Spend some of that money on a mirror and take a long hard look in it.

If I wanted to report your inappropriate comments I would have done so. Personally, I think it’s better to leave them to stand so that others can see how you’ve behaved. If you’re embarrassed about them you’ll have to ask to have them removed yourself, I’m afraid.

I said I do not wish to speak to you further and you are derailing the thread yet you tagged me in further post again. Please stop tagging me in any further comments.

Why do you want to make conjectures about the financial situation or other posters on the thread? It’s weird behaviour and is derailing the thread and it is not in compliance with the Talk Guidelines to be making personal comments inventing things about other posters’ lives rather than responding about the topic under discussion which is wedding invitations and gifting conventions.

Maybe make just one post without referencing how much money you’d spend on a wedding and how stingy everyone who isn’t you is? Then no one would need to bring your finances into it.

👍

I said I do not wish to speak to you further and you are derailing the thread yet you tagged me in further post again. Please stop tagging me in any further comments.

There’s no obligation to respond.

Apart from anything else, I didn’t actually tag her in a single post…

Yes, it’s amazing how many people who claim they are going to leave the thread and airily declare that they will no longer be responding are back seconds later…

I haven’t seen any deleted comments on the thread. Most people are capable of having a discussion without inventing assertions about the lives of anonymous strangers. Moderators do ‘t read every one of the millions of comments per day on this forum, you are aware of that surely? Your posts won’t be deleted unless somebody reported them and nobody including me has bothered to do so. That doesn’t mean they are compliant with the Talk Guidelines. Several of them clearly are not compliant but I think it best to let them stand so others can see them when they read the thread, hence not having bothered to report you and me simply asking you to stop making personal comments about people who are complete strangers to you and are not the subject of the thread.

In principle I agree, but in practice it'd come off really grabby and blatant saying something like 'there will be a wishing well if you want to give us any money'. And you'd have to spell it out because not everyone would know what the wishing well was for, personally I didn't until I read this thread - haven't ever been to a wedding where they did it. Personally I can understand feeling the need to soften it a bit by saying the guests' presence is the main thing that matters to them.

I didn’t say anything about leaving the thread. I simply asked the posters making unhinged personal attacks to stop tagging me in messages.

Quoting someone’s comments tag them, but perhaps people who haven’t read/ couldn’t understand the Talk Guidelines also don’t even understand how the actual posting on a thread works.

Can you just leave your weird obsession with me now? I’m sure nobody else is interested in it and I have made it clear already that I’m not.

If your behaviour on this thread is any kind of reflection of your personality, I very much doubt any one is 'obsessed' with you.

You’ve quoted the wrong person here. It wasn’t me who you complained was tagging you.

But perhaps people who don’t understand what a personal attack is don’t understand how the quote function works either.

Show me one that isn’t complaint. Just one. And if they’re so obviously against guidelines, why has no one reported them?

Is it because it’s only in your opinion, rather than being based on anything approaching fact?

Not cool to be outing your sister like this.

She is not outing her sister at all, as so, so, so many brides do the same thing.

This board is for people to post things like this. That's why it exists.

Yeah it’s shite.
if they don’t want presents they should just say they don’t have a gift list but if anyone would like to gift them spending money for the honeymoon then it would be greatly appreciated !

Why bother the bride and groom? What a waste of time. Just put something on the invite so everyone knows where they stand.

You are being rigid. They obviously dont expect presents. They dont want to semd out wedding gift lists.
But they know what peopld afe lime. Some will bring gifts regardless.
He ce the wishing well.

I don’t know what a wishing well is but people feel uncomfortable not giving a gift.

Personally they just being nice asking for money in leiu of gifts, many couples live together for years before getting married hese days and maybe have everything they need. Or would prefer your presence instead of finding an excuse not to go as they dont have funds.

I would hope they’re close enough - it’s her sister 😂

I think the wishing well is a nice idea. A lot of young couples already have a shared household, so they don't need stuff. I would be happy to give money that goes towards a holiday/honeymoon or simply a contribution to help with the wedding costs.
If, as it's your sister, you want to give her a more personal gift, there's nothing stopping you.