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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate deep tissue massage

117 replies

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:09

Yesterday had a deep tissue massage by qualified osteopath. Attached to a sports club. Looks after the team given the sport anticpate is mainly male. Anyway he was a youngish male & im not young. I had trousers on as working on neck shoulders back. All very professional and work was good clearly qualified as ive had issues for years. They can be a bit uncomfortable/tender so concentrating on relaxing. I was face down and hands by side palm. I felt something brush against me his bits thought wtf that embarrassing. Few mins later i was very conscious that it was most definitely his bits firmly in my hand for what seemed a long time but was probably no more than 2 mins. I froze as suddenly second guessing what im feeling. He continued to work on back and waa talking generally i threw in references to husband but basically just ignored. No other issues throughout. This is weird been thinking this morning this couldnt have been an accident twice? Surely? A google online broight this up ill try and upload but it’s exactly what happened. Has anyone else had this? Are there any physios on here? Is this innocent? Im atcually fine but has made me think how vunerable i could have been. I had a male physio for 7 years and this never happened before.

Inappropriate deep tissue massage
OP posts:
PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 14/02/2026 22:15

Who on earth voted you are being unreasonable? I’m very sorry that happened to you OP. That is awful.

thetinsoldier · 14/02/2026 22:18

I’m really sorry this happened to you. I’m sure he knew exactly what he was doing.

He would know where his bits were, and he should try his best to ensure that they were nowhere near your hand. What a revolting, unprofessional pervert.

What do you want to do best?

ComeOnPhilEarlySpringPlease · 14/02/2026 22:21

Wtaf is that link. Why? Why would any masseur place his genital in the client's hand? What on Earth? Parallel universe. Bewildering.
I'd feel like David's fiance in Schitt's Creek.

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:21

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 14/02/2026 22:15

Who on earth voted you are being unreasonable? I’m very sorry that happened to you OP. That is awful.

Thank you - ironically the treatment was really good other than that. The person is self employed i didnt know whether i should report it but who to? He had really good reviews online and by several women one who i know sort of from school. I will be sticking to women in future

OP posts:
Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:26

I know i mean all he had to do was move his whole body an inch or so or move my arm. Some of those beds can be height adjusted too. Clearly ive been too trusting. Its a warning really but i did check out as much as i could. Just be careful of who you go too.

OP posts:
PURPLErainiswhatmadePrincegreat · 14/02/2026 22:32

he was leaning his bits onto your hand or he was erected

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:34

PURPLErainiswhatmadePrincegreat · 14/02/2026 22:32

he was leaning his bits onto your hand or he was erected

Leaning into felt like a semi moving slowly

OP posts:
NeededANameChangeAnyway · 14/02/2026 22:36

Are women safe nowhere?!? That's disgusting.

dontjustdontdoit · 14/02/2026 22:38

Oh something similar happened to me years ago. It was lifting the shorts and kind of repetitive pushing into my bum. I’ve had loads of massages and this one made me uncomfortable. I did what I never thought I would do. Stayed silent and never went back.

Cailin66 · 14/02/2026 22:38

Another pervert getting his kicks. Please report him or he’ll go further with someone else.

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:39

thetinsoldier · 14/02/2026 22:18

I’m really sorry this happened to you. I’m sure he knew exactly what he was doing.

He would know where his bits were, and he should try his best to ensure that they were nowhere near your hand. What a revolting, unprofessional pervert.

What do you want to do best?

Not sure really? Just forget about it and move on and never go back. Just so weird. Just warn others to be really careful take for granted qualified professionals are simply that.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 14/02/2026 22:42

I years ago had massage from a gay man and I felt he may have been getting turned on by this. Was the main reason I didn’t return. I could’ve been hyper sensitive but I don’t think I was.

catera · 14/02/2026 22:43

Please report. A guy local to me was doing the same, it escalated and he’s been arrested

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:45

Cailin66 · 14/02/2026 22:38

Another pervert getting his kicks. Please report him or he’ll go further with someone else.

This is my concern im ok although still on my mind someone else might not be or be a much younger girl. He did say he might work into ny chest and i said chest??? Obviously in a tone that told him no way. I dod turn over with towel and he pulled my neck all fine then left room so i could dress. Aa i say it was all so normal otherwise that i second guessed it but im really sure this was deliberate.

OP posts:
GarlicBound · 14/02/2026 22:46

I wonder if it's supposed to be a hint? I used to go a male masseur whom other women told me gave them 'extras' - shades of Sex and the City! Nothing odd ever happened with me, and I did ask my friends how they managed to get around to it. Nobody ever gave me a straight answer 😳

So. No idea, OP. But obviously he did know what he was doing, and I'm sorry your massage was spoiled by this dick (literally!)

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:47

dontjustdontdoit · 14/02/2026 22:38

Oh something similar happened to me years ago. It was lifting the shorts and kind of repetitive pushing into my bum. I’ve had loads of massages and this one made me uncomfortable. I did what I never thought I would do. Stayed silent and never went back.

Thats awful. Its easy with hindsight what you could have done but in the moment you feel trapped. I guess thats what they play on like a power trip

OP posts:
FourSevenTwo · 14/02/2026 22:49

Cailin66 · 14/02/2026 22:38

Another pervert getting his kicks. Please report him or he’ll go further with someone else.

Report to who?

Lovemycat2023 · 14/02/2026 22:51

We had a massage therapist at a local spa I go to who was prosecuted for assault (I haven’t had a massage there). Report to the venue (if he was employed) and if self employed or you’re not happy with the response report to the police. This guy had done it a lot of times and I’m glad he was caught, but I bet some women had struggled to report him.

plumclafoutis · 14/02/2026 22:53

I would absolutely report this. I had an acupuncturist/osteopath many years ago who started to do things that made me feel uncomfortable, what felt like a slightly misplaced hand but nothing that seemed intentional . The final straw was when he ran a feather down my naked back when I was face down on the massage bed. I didn’t protest but I never went back.

gtamum · 14/02/2026 22:54

FourSevenTwo · 14/02/2026 22:49

Report to who?

Well the sports club for a start. But I’d also consider the police

ResusciAnnie · 14/02/2026 22:55

What the fuck is that screenshot?? Do you have a link to that site? Utterly bizarre. All my deep tissue massages are in the position but all my massage therapists have been women. Wow that is so gross.

Purpl · 14/02/2026 22:56

GarlicBound · 14/02/2026 22:46

I wonder if it's supposed to be a hint? I used to go a male masseur whom other women told me gave them 'extras' - shades of Sex and the City! Nothing odd ever happened with me, and I did ask my friends how they managed to get around to it. Nobody ever gave me a straight answer 😳

So. No idea, OP. But obviously he did know what he was doing, and I'm sorry your massage was spoiled by this dick (literally!)

Omg 😦 maybe that was what he doing?

OP posts:
LondonBlueTopaz · 14/02/2026 22:58

Im sorry @Purpl what a shitty thing to do.
Qualified Osteopath ..
Report to the General Osteopathic Council...and to the venue.

Canyoutellme123 · 14/02/2026 22:59

I'm a physio but you really don't need a physio opinion to tell you this isn't right. All the male physios in my team and ones I train are very aware of making sure they do nothing that could be misconstrued, being really clear on consent and explaining what they are going to do. I assume they are regulated like physios are. https://www.osteopathy.org.uk/about-us/ you should be able to find his details on here to check he is registered and can complain to them if you wanted to. And the police

About us - General Osteopathic Council

https://www.osteopathy.org.uk/about-us/

FlippyKiYayFlippyFlipper · 14/02/2026 23:00

FourSevenTwo · 14/02/2026 22:49

Report to who?

The police. It’s sexual assault.

OP please do report it if you feel able. Even through crimestoppers if need be so his name is logged on police databases.

It won’t be his first time assaulting a female and won’t be his last.

I’m so sorry this happened to you.