Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end my two friendships over this? (Pregnancy)

349 replies

Fluffymop · 14/02/2026 12:44

I recently found out I was pregnant, and although I’m only 7 weeks I’m excited. No cramping and no blood or anything. So far so good.

i have two best friends. (They don’t know each other)- but both have reacted terribly.

My first friend has reacted the strangest. I told her because we talk every single day, do things together often and my partner works away and family are quite far, so thought it would be good for someone to know. I’ve been there for her through everything, break ups, her dad’s illness, driving to hospitals at 4am, lent her money when she’s been short. Helped her move house.

So when I told her her first comment was “well don’t get attached as there’s a 50% likelihood you’ll miscarry” so I agreed, though don’t believe it’s that high, but said that of course I’ll be cautious until 12 weeks. She then proceeded to ignore me for 9 days. We usually speak daily on WhatsApp. I didn’t actually mind the peace but then she sent me a long message saying that I had basically ruined her life. She wants children (she’s in a brand new relationship). She can’t control her emotions or anger towards my situation and will be fine as long as baby is never mentioned. That she can’t put into words how she feels but she isn’t pleased at all. She just kept saying repeatedly she’s struggling with her emotions.

She has never struggled with infertility or anything and has been on birth control for the last fifteen years. Of course, if this was the case then I’d have been more sensitive. There’s no reason to suggest she couldn’t fall next month. I now feel just bitter and upset towards her. And made to feel guilty for being pregnant even though I’m a woman in her mid thirties and own my own home etc.

Next friend, bit more understandable. She had an ectopic 17 years ago. I had to tell her as we had a holiday to the US booked two weeks after my expected due date. She was fine but said that she wouldn’t be able to speak to me until baby is here. I sadly said that’s fine and have given her space.

but I just feel upset. I’m not expecting anyone to jump for joy. End of the day nobody is really excited for a baby other than family, but I’ve stuck by these two people through thick and thin. I’ve been there at 4am through breakups, driven hours to pick them up places, just always been a loyal and good friend and both have cut me out because I’m pregnant. We are mid 30’s by the way.

It’s making me feel like even if I go to my 12 week scan and my pregnancy isn’t successful. I dont want to be their friends anymore? AIBU?

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 16/02/2026 07:47

Be kinder on yourself.
You can't conrol how another person feels.

They are being honest and you, without dumping them as friends, need to find new friends who welcome children.

Ignore them, without being mean, and forge ahead.
Best wishes for the pregnancy.

Trevordidit · 16/02/2026 07:51

Fluffymop · 15/02/2026 21:53

Hi all, thanks for your replies I’ve read them and taken them all in. Friend 1 actually sent a message today saying I was nasty, because I said she doesn’t know if she is having infertility as she’s never tried for a baby. She said I should reassure her and check in on her just in case she could have infertility even though we don’t know for sure and she isn’t planning on having babies anytime soon so we will never know? She just said her periods have been sporadic since she came off the pill and has moved into the coil. I don’t think that counts as infertility but I don’t know. I also don’t have the time to constantly check in and reassure her over my pregnancy because she may have infertility but doesn’t know! It’s bonkers.

I find it hard to believe anyone could be that self centered.

pestowithwalnuts · 16/02/2026 07:56

What a pair of cows these two are.
Both of them sound jealous of the attention you will receive during your pregnancy. Especially Friend 1.

The probably think their conversations with you will revolve around talking about your pregnancy..what you bought for the baby...diet etc.
You don't need friends like this . This is a wonderful time in your life and they are sucking the joy out of it.

And congratulations lovely..I hope all goes well.💐

Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KimberleyClark · 16/02/2026 08:01

Fluffymop · 15/02/2026 21:53

Hi all, thanks for your replies I’ve read them and taken them all in. Friend 1 actually sent a message today saying I was nasty, because I said she doesn’t know if she is having infertility as she’s never tried for a baby. She said I should reassure her and check in on her just in case she could have infertility even though we don’t know for sure and she isn’t planning on having babies anytime soon so we will never know? She just said her periods have been sporadic since she came off the pill and has moved into the coil. I don’t think that counts as infertility but I don’t know. I also don’t have the time to constantly check in and reassure her over my pregnancy because she may have infertility but doesn’t know! It’s bonkers.

This is insane. She isn’t ttc and has no idea whether she’s infertile or not but wants you to behave as though she is? Do people really think like this?

Mumof2heroes · 16/02/2026 08:09

Fluffymop · 15/02/2026 21:53

Hi all, thanks for your replies I’ve read them and taken them all in. Friend 1 actually sent a message today saying I was nasty, because I said she doesn’t know if she is having infertility as she’s never tried for a baby. She said I should reassure her and check in on her just in case she could have infertility even though we don’t know for sure and she isn’t planning on having babies anytime soon so we will never know? She just said her periods have been sporadic since she came off the pill and has moved into the coil. I don’t think that counts as infertility but I don’t know. I also don’t have the time to constantly check in and reassure her over my pregnancy because she may have infertility but doesn’t know! It’s bonkers.

WTAF! Back away from the mad person and enjoy your pregnancy and baby. You will meet many like minded, kind people along the way. You absolutely don't need this batshittery in your life. All the best!

Fluffymop · 16/02/2026 08:13

Trevordidit · 16/02/2026 07:51

I find it hard to believe anyone could be that self centered.

It’s true 😳

To end my two friendships over this? (Pregnancy)
OP posts:
Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HeadLake · 16/02/2026 08:17

Fluffymop · 16/02/2026 08:13

It’s true 😳

How dare you not check in with her about her imaginary infertility…

Fluffymop · 16/02/2026 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I said this. because I said she doesn’t know if she is having infertility as she’s never tried for a baby.

I admit that. She said she was upset about children, and didn’t know if she was infertile so was upset about my pregnancy, I said to her that she shouldn’t worry about infertility yet as she hasn’t tried for a baby.

OP posts:
Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fluffymop · 16/02/2026 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ok😂

To end my two friendships over this? (Pregnancy)
OP posts:
Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fluffymop · 16/02/2026 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yes, and then ghosted for days, then started talking about her periods being over the place as she’d changed birth control and that she’s concerned and needs reassurance from me about her infertility. Which I can’t give, as we have no idea if she has infertility issues as she’s never tried for a baby or had unprotected sex. I don’t know how to reassure someone around their fertility when we don’t know either way, especially at a time when I’m pregnant and exhausted. I just say what I can, that there’s no reason to believe that she can’t have babies but that isn’t good enough of a reassurance for some reason.

OP posts:
BlueRedCat · 16/02/2026 08:34

OP- please believe everyone here when we say this is not normal friendship behaviour.

you need to focus on you and your pregnancy not your friend’s hypothetical one.

please just block them and stay calm. This is honestly disgusting

Thattimenow · 16/02/2026 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YourOliveBalonz · 16/02/2026 08:52

Early pregnancy is exhausting (for most people anyway) so please do yourself a favour and stop expending your energy on this person! Block and move on.

Tater05 · 16/02/2026 09:01

I can't believe there are people like that, how self centered can you be. Fine if they are upset about their own situation but any decent human would still be happy for you, or at the very least pretend to be. This has brought out their true colours and they're not worth the remaining energy you'll have, ditch them both and find some better friends through pregnancy/baby groups.
Congratulations and I hope you have a lovely smooth pregnancy

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 16/02/2026 09:20

The lows people will sink to, to make any situation about them astounds me.

TFImBackIn · 16/02/2026 09:28

Fluffymop · 14/02/2026 12:53

Thank you all. I wanted perspective as I really felt like I’d done something wrong. I’d even offered to fully pay for holiday and for friend to take someone else so she didn’t miss out! Bone silence. If we cancel now we only lose our deposit of £100, and I’d happily give her that back also or let her keep mine to compensate herself! It’s all bonkers!

Don't do that! Just lose the £100 and if your friend doesn't go then perhaps pay her £100 too. If she dithers so that it costs more then don't pay any more than the £100.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You have two shockingly self-centred and nasty friends there. I would ditch them both. You know you'll be expected to fawn over them if they get pregnant, don't you? There have been tons of threads on here about that sort of person.

Moonlightdust · 16/02/2026 12:36

If I were you I think I’d send a message telling her you are stepping away from the friendship. It hurts you to do so as you had valued her friendship but clearly it’s not reciprocated as you are floored by her reaction to what is meant to be joyous life event. I would then block her.

Moonlightdust · 16/02/2026 12:45

She is seething with jealousy and trying to get sympathy for a non existent issue - exceedingly self centred and immature. Do not engage OP.

Pessismistic · 16/02/2026 13:14

Fluffymop · 16/02/2026 08:30

Yes, and then ghosted for days, then started talking about her periods being over the place as she’d changed birth control and that she’s concerned and needs reassurance from me about her infertility. Which I can’t give, as we have no idea if she has infertility issues as she’s never tried for a baby or had unprotected sex. I don’t know how to reassure someone around their fertility when we don’t know either way, especially at a time when I’m pregnant and exhausted. I just say what I can, that there’s no reason to believe that she can’t have babies but that isn’t good enough of a reassurance for some reason.

Op it’s not your job to reassure her I think you need to message her and say I need time to myself your stressing me out and I do not want to lose my baby because your periods are all over the place. Your friend needs to grow up she’s probably hoping you miscarry. Get rid of her she sounds more like an enemy tbh.