AIBU to think she should let me have them

[DallazMajor]

I have a particular style and people comment on it.

My friend bought some shoes in a charity shop. She said “oh I bought these shoes - they are so you”. She showed them to me and yes they are so me. She then put them in a box in her wardrobe.

This month she said I could borrow them for my mums funeral. :(
Lots of people commented on them “they are so you”. Etc. She kept telling everyone they were her shoes that she picked up at a vintage fayre for £5.

For context she is a very close friend.

AIBU to think she should let me have the shoes.

She fully discloses that she will “Never wear them”.

It's not a lack of generosity though to want to keep your own stuff. Maybe the shoe owner won't wear them but likes to have them to look at, or to lend (as she has done) to people who like them, or to pass on to children, or to draw etc. My point is that she doesn't have to give them away or sell them if she doesn't want to. Keeping your own stuff is hardly the same as spitting on the floor or burping in someone's face! There are plenty of other ways of being a good and generous friend without giving them your things.

YABVVVVVVVU but you’re also going through an extremely difficult period of your life so maybe that’s why you’re so focused on this.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Are you willing to lose a friend at this time because you're mad she won't give you her shoes?

You're displacing your grief about your mom onto a pair of shoes and it's going to cost you a friend.

Such a strange thread

So she’s a close friend - will never wear the shoes but when you asked /begged to buy them off her - she said no

didn’t sound like a friend to me

sorry about your mum 💐

Exactly!

As often repeated on mn, ‘no’ is a complete sentence.

Op has asked for them, and friend has said ‘no’. Friend is under no obligation to sell them.

But why would friend buy something that sh knows her friend will like and she won’t wear them herself yet won’t let friend buy /have them

that’s being pathetic

No. I’ve just said “thanks” and given them back to her.

She said “oh I’m shocked I thought I’d never see them again”.

Well if you begged her to give them to you she probably is shocked you returned them.

Anyway, i'd move on now. You did the right thing thanking her and giving them back.

Well it sounds like there's some history between you that you're not going to disclose!

I think she's being a bit selfish, but to be honest I think I wouldn't make a big deal about it (which it sounds as if you haven't), but ask her if she would consider selling them to you. If she won't, ask again in 6 months or so when she may have had time to realise she really doesn't need them.