To be annoyed about the stickers?

[NerdySnoozer]

DS7 is in Primary 2 (equivalent of year 1) and his school has a toothbrushing lady to help the children brush their teeth after lunch.
The tooth brush lady has been handing out stickers once a week to all the children. Today my son has come home very upset as he was told he won’t be getting a sticker this week as he didn’t want to brush his teeth today. (He’s a bit reluctant at home too, but we manage. )Messaged teacher for more info, apparently about once a week he decides he’d prefer to not to brush. He’s not the best at speaking up so sometimes will just pretend he hasn’t heard and ignore instructions. The lady got annoyed today and said if he didn’t come to do them, he wouldn’t be allowed a sticker on Friday. Class teacher doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem, says the lady supplies her own stickers and prizes and isn’t employed by the school, just visits as part of her job. She can’t tell her who to give stickers to and doesn’t want to ask her not to give them out at all. Got the impression that the teacher thinks the children shouldn’t have any choice in the matter and need to comply or be punished. Normally I’d just leave it as school is school and just support at home but I’m finding myself really annoyed about it. DH thinks I’m upset over nothing and am probably just hormonal and if I’m that bothered I can withdraw consent for him to brush at school.
Am I unreasonable to think the bloody stickers just shouldn’t be used as a punisment?

Why are they brushing teeth at school - does this mean they have to skip a time at home or that they are now doing 3 times a day ?

I don’t think its supposed to be good for your teeth to over brush

But he can’t expect a sticker if he refuses to do what’s required for the sticker

Where's the laughing emoji when you need it 😂😂😂😂

OP you sound great! Sorry for some of the horrible replies on here. We all have off days!

https://bigbrushclub.co.uk/ It’s not just a Scottish scheme

This toothbrushing regime is probably very unhealthy in any case. No, I'm not some weirdo anti conventional dentistry person - I see my dental hygienist and dentist every six months. Brushing within 30 minute of consuming any acidic food - like fruit juice or acidic foods such as tomatoes - is very damaging as the tooth enamel has not had a chance to remineralise. This is just one of those examples where people with bad science are let loose on some feel good yet harmful task. I mean it's a classic case of more is better - if brushing before breakfast and before bed is good then brushing after lunch must be even better. It's not. I would never have allowed my children to brush their teeth within 30 minutes of lunch and I certainly never do it myself. They would never have had a sticker but they do have great teeth. My husband is in his mid-sixties and last had some dental treatment at 16 or 17 - he gets regular check ups but has not had any work done in nearly 50 years. He doesn't brush his teeth at lunchtime and his dentist says he has teeth people would kill for.

You have just summed up everything that is wrong with parenting, and parents’ attitude to schools and their little darling, in the world today.

Slight derail from your original question, sorry - just for anyone reading and questioning the additional funding/school age process in Scotland. It's very common and almost a given these days that Jan/Feb kids will get an extra year of funded nursery & start Primary one at aged 5.5. Much less likely to find this happen for summer born kids here in Scotland, though that's not to say it doesn't happen of course

It isn't a punishment, it's the withholding of a reward. Rewards have to be earnt. A nice lesson for your son.

Actually, the British army has dentists because the state of British teeth means that tooth pain is one of the top causes for soldiers to not be battle ready. Teeth and feet. Milk was introduced in schools in the early 20th century when it was discovered most Brits were too unhealthy to fight in the Boer War.

I think we need stickers for best thread of the day

I think the main issue is that your son doesn't understand why he hasn't got a sticker. Explain that to him and then he can decide if he would rather have a sticker or rather opt out of the teeth brushing. He then has control over the situation and will probably feel happier.

I agree.

I think you need to sign up to be a volunteer tooth brushing lady now

My question too.

I love stickers and I'm 37! Especially if they're holographic. 😁

Edited as I’ve only just read the replies

How do you think the toothbrushing scheme could be better run, I wonder? It's a visitor to the class, so she had limited opportunity to build relationships and she needs to get the kids to do something they don't particularly want to do. I don't really know how she could do it without motivation, which you call coercion. There’s a problem with childhood teeth decay, we want children to learn dental hygiene - what should they be doing instead of stickers for brushing or some other incentive?

Way to start building his male entitlement. JFC.

Well he needs to brush his teeth every day and he hasn’t. Wtf anyway a toothbrush lady? How’s about just teaching your son tk
brush his teeth.

I’d be very tempted to give my child a really fab sticker at home, for avoiding what seems to be an bodily invasive situation without a parent for support.
also could teach child how to cheat & make it look as though he’s done the job.

This is why after 30 years of teaching I’m done!

Withholding a reward is a punishment. Then entire point of a reward is to be able to withhold it as punishment. You have to give something to in order be able to take it away. The fact that it is a sticker is only bargaining over price. After all, the 'reward' for obeying the law is freedom. And the punishment is taking it away. It's simply a matter of what you feel entitled to.

There is no point in debating the sticker/no sticker argument, it's a deeply flawed system. Give him a sheet of stickers and tell him adults are sometimes mistaken, your teeth rot if you don't brush them no matter how many stickers you have and hygiene is not conditional.

So what would be a less flawed system in the classroom? I'm really interested to know what the education system looks like with no rewards and no punishments. And I do mean actually interested, not trying to score points or be snarky.

The first ever hygienists were Second World War army nurses who were trained up in oral
hygiene. At the time dental disease was the main reason why soldiers were too ill to fight

Just to say I have 2 DC with an allergy/sensitivity to something in toothpaste (they are in their 20's now and now I don't remember which ingredient)

but one uses https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=oranurse+unflavoured+toothpaste&crid=39S5HM0MMIQF9&sprefix=oranurse%2Caps%2C110&ref=nbsbssmvt-t11-ranker28
I think they have a child's version.
This is flavourless as the mint makes them retch.

and one uses https://www.amazon.co.uk/Biotene-Flouride-Toothpaste-Mouth-Fresh/dp/B0DDTZK5TQ/ref=sr15?crid=Z6K2ZVKV8QM8&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.l16vmTxd9Q1jYIae8ASK8TiSe2Yj7Qgrv13hUyzaIL3an3FOZ57tmJXMeC5dkF7mpwKR6xUKnpV6iIURwXPMHolYT8oQvc0Xyo9ezmbSEE-pDEzVzRBmHq5UmKSL6mnD1E1jQFcNRjiLj6vLjF3QISERnu40tqa9BccVEuzwBfPL8X2Xn4jhJOwpWykZzoZyrY0HM7gC1CABGFvB9gkqx0hK0MyZXlFw717AGYe-IFOcU77FM95undPdgXq8ddm8i3PqRo7-PHzbVa3oHsLLJaDe4MeSSRrKJHjL5SA.mJJ4HmKB36j1wShCM81DiBlBJKilzQDIMiJnP5c6F7o&dibtag=se&keywords=biotene+toothpaste&qid=1770969304&s=drugstore&sprefix=biotene+toothpaste%2Cdrugstore%2C73&sr=1-5

Sorry for long link 😬

Maybe worth a try?

edited to say there are lots of varieties for children and if they use strawberry at home maybe the mint is just too much. I would sent in some that they like for starters!