To be annoyed about the stickers?

[NerdySnoozer]

DS7 is in Primary 2 (equivalent of year 1) and his school has a toothbrushing lady to help the children brush their teeth after lunch.
The tooth brush lady has been handing out stickers once a week to all the children. Today my son has come home very upset as he was told he won’t be getting a sticker this week as he didn’t want to brush his teeth today. (He’s a bit reluctant at home too, but we manage. )Messaged teacher for more info, apparently about once a week he decides he’d prefer to not to brush. He’s not the best at speaking up so sometimes will just pretend he hasn’t heard and ignore instructions. The lady got annoyed today and said if he didn’t come to do them, he wouldn’t be allowed a sticker on Friday. Class teacher doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem, says the lady supplies her own stickers and prizes and isn’t employed by the school, just visits as part of her job. She can’t tell her who to give stickers to and doesn’t want to ask her not to give them out at all. Got the impression that the teacher thinks the children shouldn’t have any choice in the matter and need to comply or be punished. Normally I’d just leave it as school is school and just support at home but I’m finding myself really annoyed about it. DH thinks I’m upset over nothing and am probably just hormonal and if I’m that bothered I can withdraw consent for him to brush at school.
Am I unreasonable to think the bloody stickers just shouldn’t be used as a punisment?

This is bizarre. You want him to get a reward for nothing. He didn’t brush his teeth so therefore no sticker.
Also, a tooth brushing lady?! Wtf?!

Why should he get a sticker if he hasn’t brushed his teeth? Surely that’s the incentive?
If he wants a sticker, then he needs to brush his teeth. It’s that simple.

It could look like this

I work for a charity that offer supervised tooth brushing services in our towns schools. It sounds like it was a how we would advise a teacher to handle the situation. Stickers are the reward. He wasn't punished

Edited due to spelling mistake

A lot of children don’t have parents who take care of the children’s teeth, good dental hygiene is important for health. It’s a long time I was at primary school but we had doctors doing general medical checks, opticians, dentists and head lice nurse visit my school. Im pleased they did because my parents never took me to either of those places and a lot would have been missed.

We also had police and firemen etc visit to give talks on strangers, fire safety, cycling safety, a bunch of stuff that you’d assume parents would teach and take care of but many don’t.

It’s imperative that you immediately email the governors, class teacher, headteacher and the toothbrush lady. In addition, you should probably cc in your local MP, Ofsted and Jesus.

Explain to them that your child refused to do a task and then didn’t get a sticker . Absolutely fucking outrageous. how the school staff sleep at night is a mystery to me.

bloody sticker hoarding dragons.

Indeed...
Brushing your teeth immediately after eating can harm your enamel, especially if you've consumed acidic or sugary foods. After eating, the pH level in your mouth becomes acidic, which softens the enamel. Brushing during this time can wear away the enamel, leading to long-term damage.
Recommended Waiting Period

• Wait at least 30 minutes after eating before brushing your teeth. This allows saliva to neutralize the acids and remineralize the enamel.
• If you have consumed highly acidic foods (like citrus fruits or soda), it is advisable to wait up to an hour before brushing.

999 NOW

Ffs just send the fucking asteroid now 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm not trying to be harsh but why should she give him a sticker for not brushing?

The whole point of the sticker is a reward for the brushing...he didn't do it.

I'm really confused by your opinion on this? What do you think the sticker is for if it isn't a reward?

Oh look it’s another post and run almost like a bot

I work in a secondary school and parents like you are honestly infuriating.

I’m embarrassed for you.

Your being mad. He wasn't punished.

He didn't brush his teeth = he doesnt get the sticker

No punishment. He made a choice and he got upset cos he doesnt like the result. So next time if he wants the sticker then he brushes his teeth

Do you not have any consequences at home!!!!!

Ask your DS what the stickers are given out for. Ask him what he has to do if he wants one. Earning a sticker is within his control.

I think it’s fair enough. If it was my child I would just say that they didn’t complete the task so didn’t get the sticker reward 🤷‍♀️ It’s a perfect example of consequences really. If you want the credit and reward for doing something then you do actually have to do it! He made a choice that he didn’t want to brush, fine. But then he has to deal with the consequences of that choice.

When your son gets invited to a party and you are busy at that time so he can't go, do you get upset he doesn't get a party bag?
When you go for a day out and he choses to spend his money on one thing from the gift shop but wants many, do you give him unlimited money till he gets everything he wants?
When he wants 10 bedtime stories because he doesn't know which he wants, do you read all 10 even if it's way past his bedtime on a school night, because it's not ok for him to have to chose just one, if he wants all 10?

He had to chose between brushing his teeth and not brushing his teeth. He knew brushing his teeth would get him a sticker, he still chose not to brush his teeth. If getting a sticker was really important, he could have chosen to brush his teeth. He didn't, so it clearly wasn't. You both move on,

Ok, I acknowledge there is a chance I have over reacted here. It does seem it’s just me on this one!
I suppose my issue is more with the bribery and threatening element. The school generally doesn’t do external behaviour rewards, no behaviour charts or similar. The general idea being the children will learn to be intrinsically motivated and do things for good reason, rather than to get a reward.
Of course I want my son to brush his teeth, and he does at home with some guidance and persuasion.
The initial conversation with class teacher was just for more information as DS didn’t seem clear on why he wasn’t getting a sticker, rather than trying to demand he be given one. Not delighted with the response I got but obviously if I’m being a bit ridiculous, not a huge surprise.
DS says toothbrushing lady was annoyed. DH has just wondered aloud if the annoyance might be more with the ignoring rather than the lack of brushing. According to teacher he skips brushing about once a week and I know he has had stickers previous weeks.
Starting to feel a bit of a twat now.

This is a really weird take on the reward system put in place... The sticker isn't a punishment tool, it's a motivator. The entire point is to give to the children who complete the task, if you give to all children regardless it becomes meaningless.

I don't particularly agree with rewards system like this for school work, but a sticker for tooth brushing is hardly a high stake issue.

This. It's hard to see your child sad. But it's really important to distinguish between a child who's upset over some genuinely upsetting thing, Vs a child who's upset because they didn't get their own way. You comfort the first. If you give in to the second you are setting yourself up for years of tantrums/sulking/refusal to do necessary things because you are rewarding behaviour you don't want to see

Don’t feel bad.. people just love a pile on, on this app - there are polite ways of disagreeing!

There is no punishment and no threat.

there is a very clear link - brush your teeth and get a sticker.

he chose not to brush his teeth therefore no sticker.

As others have said, it's not a punishment.

The school will be working with an initiative similar to these:

https://www.gov.scot/publications/oral-health-community-challenge-fund-grant-recipients-july-2019-to-march-2022/

P.S. Yes, this will be discussed in the staffroom.

I'm so glad I'm no longer a teacher.

Lol, I mean you might have been a bit of a twat, but to be honest we all are sometimes!

I'm giving you a sticker for the most gracious and speedy acknowledgement of IABU.