To be annoyed about the stickers?

[NerdySnoozer]

DS7 is in Primary 2 (equivalent of year 1) and his school has a toothbrushing lady to help the children brush their teeth after lunch.
The tooth brush lady has been handing out stickers once a week to all the children. Today my son has come home very upset as he was told he won’t be getting a sticker this week as he didn’t want to brush his teeth today. (He’s a bit reluctant at home too, but we manage. )Messaged teacher for more info, apparently about once a week he decides he’d prefer to not to brush. He’s not the best at speaking up so sometimes will just pretend he hasn’t heard and ignore instructions. The lady got annoyed today and said if he didn’t come to do them, he wouldn’t be allowed a sticker on Friday. Class teacher doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem, says the lady supplies her own stickers and prizes and isn’t employed by the school, just visits as part of her job. She can’t tell her who to give stickers to and doesn’t want to ask her not to give them out at all. Got the impression that the teacher thinks the children shouldn’t have any choice in the matter and need to comply or be punished. Normally I’d just leave it as school is school and just support at home but I’m finding myself really annoyed about it. DH thinks I’m upset over nothing and am probably just hormonal and if I’m that bothered I can withdraw consent for him to brush at school.
Am I unreasonable to think the bloody stickers just shouldn’t be used as a punisment?

I did, see my edit and apology. Please don’t judge me, I’ve seen you on here lots and you’re always really nice and sensible! (My god-daughter is called Sara that’s how I first noticed you)

Haha I don’t think you’re bitchy and never would. By the way you once really helped me with advice about my mum (it might have been under my previous username)

This has got to be rage bait, surely? You can’t reasonably think that stickers awarded for brushing teach should be given to the children who don’t brush their teeth?

A tooth brushing lady — FFS what is the world coming to. 🙄🙄🙄

I’m sure everyone else told you you’re being ridiculous but I agree. Brushing teeth after lunch at school shouldn’t be required if children would rather brush/are brushing at home. If all the children are getting stickers and they are only being withheld for a few students that is not a reward and it is a punishment. It’s also probably the sense of shame for being singled out that he feels more than the lack of sticker that bothers him.

Unfortunately I’m not sure what you can do other than tell school/whoever this toothbrushing lady is that you do not want him to be a pressured to brush his teeth at school. If she’s not a member of staff, is this a service you consented to? Can you look into opting out?

If it were me I’d review with him why it’s important for children to brush their teeth and discuss with him why this programme might exist (some children don’t have the supplies/support/etc to brush at home) so they are trying to help those children by having all the children brush after lunch. I’d tell him that your family is lucky enough not to have that problem and his brushing in the morning and evening is plenty for his own dental health, so if he doesn’t want to brush his teeth at school he doesn’t have to. I’d probably also bring him to the shops and buy him a packet of stickers of his choice in lieu of whatever rubbish the “toothbrush lady” is offering!

I know many will feel I’m being ridiculous because it’s “just” brushing your teeth but IMO this is a massive overstep. Kids (and teachers) have enough to deal with during the school day without this silliness. As a parent I want to parent, not outsource my responsibilities to a school.

It's a health promotion initiative aimed at helping to reduce health inequalities. Unfortunately not all parents take good care of their children's oral health.

Aw, that's so kind of you! And I'm glad I was able to help you back then ❤️

I know many will feel I’m being ridiculous because it’s “just” brushing your teeth but IMO this is a massive overstep. Kids (and teachers) have enough to deal with during the school day without this silliness. As a parent I want to parent, not outsource my responsibilities to a school

You're not outsourcing anything @PretendToBeToastWithMe . You will still be supervising your children's dental hygiene at home. This is just an extra opportunity to clean their teeth during the school day.

As for your objection, if they took notice of it, it would mean depriving children less fortunate than your own, of potentially their only opportunity to clean their teeth.
Recognise your privilege and that of your children, and have some consideration for the less fortunate.

Please don't let your kid grow up wrapping in cotton will like this.

All he has to do is BRUSH HIS TEETH.

How on earth is he going to learn to fit in and manage the shitty rap that life is, if he gets a sticker for doing bugger all?

I hope they wait at least half an hour after eating to clean their teeth or they'll be taking the protective enamel off.

What sort of shit parents can't even be bothered to make sure their kids clean their teeth though?

Cleaning them straight after lunch is better than never cleaning them at all. I have encountered many children who were never taught to clean their teeth at home. It's not even a particularly new initiative, I worked in a London Nursery school in the early 80s where staff did this using toothbrushes and toothpaste provided by the School Dental Service. They were all toilet trained though.

My 15 yo gets stickers in business studies lessons and loves them!

This.
Brush your teeth- get a sticker.
Not sure what it is you can't understand?

Omg this is not even worthy of a response. He needs to brush his teeth, sticker or no sticker!

I am aware of this — I still don’t think the solution is to shame every student into doing it.

@saraclara I’m well aware of my privilege, thanks. I’m probably more aware than you could imagine, and I think the families who are struggling to look after their children’s oral hygiene are doing the best they can and deserve more support than a toothbrushing lady who visits their children at school to coerce them into brushing their teeth.

DS 14 who has ADHD once confessed to me that he didn't brush his teeth for about a year. He had a meltdown when I tried to get him to, late DH always swore he did it when he asked him to, unfortunately he died still believing that. With DS it's really trying to get him to do anything that isn't his idea. Now he does it on school mornings and occasionally at other times.

If any one forced my children to brush there teeth at school. I would be slapping the morons that did. Ever parents/child's choice

Lots of chlidren with sensory issues dont like brushing their teeth.

That’s good to hear!
Dont think they’ve got anything like that in England, which is desperately needed as you can’t get a dentist in Devon!

The stickers are a carrot. He doesn't clean his teeth, he doesn't get a sticker. A simple way of letting him know actions have consequences - and preventing tooth decay and gum disease.

Slapping teachers. Great 🙄

He isn’t following instructions, and you think he should still be rewarded, hence why he doesn’t follow rules.

I would be really annoyed about this too. He's 7 years old for f's sake, he did 4 days of brushing and she's going to focus on the one day he didn't? Maybe I'm biased cuz my kid is ASD, but we focus on all the little wins and don't make them feel like shit when they exercise a little free will

Children get a reward for brushing their teeth. That's a positive thing that you could focus on at home to encourage him.
There are consequences for everything we do or don't do in life. He needs to learn that lesson, otherwise you are going to find yourself complaining to the school more often as he gets older.

100%
In an ideal educational system everything mentioned should still be happening.

Well yeah some teachers are complete moron's.